TOW: Two Parts, Part 1

Chandler: has to fire someone because the WENUS is out of whack. That someone is Nina (Jennifer Grant) the Bookbinder, whom Chandler has a crush on. Due to the crush, Chandler doesn't fire her, but asks her on a date. He never mentions that she's been fired. Things work out fine until Chandler's boss walks in on him and Nina in Chandler's office. The boss asks Chandler why Nina is still there and Chandler tells him that Nina has a psychiatric problem and does not remember being fired in the first place. Chandler says he wants to wait to fire her again until she's more stable. Nina comes to ask Chandler why people keep taking her scissors. His lies unravel and Nina learns the truth. She attacks his hand with a stapler.

Ross: has discipline problems with Marcel. He goes to Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan. There's awkwardness with trying to explain relationships, Susan and Ross fight a little. Carol can't make it to the class one day and Susan and Ross must do the lesson themselves. After watching a birthing video, Carol decides she doesn't want to go through with the birth. In comforting her, Susan mentions they're going to be parents and it finally hits Ross he's going to be a father. Ross is worried he won't be any good at it because he's not very good with Marcel.

Joey: eats at Riff's with Chandler, where they meet Phoebe's twin sister, Ursula. Joey is attracted to Ursula and goes back to Riff's to see her. Ursula and Joey start dating; Joey really likes Ursula. Phoebe is concerned about his relationship with Ursula, but Joey doesn't really pay attention to Phoebe's worries. Joey and Ursula have sex at the end of the episode.

Phoebe: tells Joey that she doesn't mind if he dates Ursula, but it's clear that she does. At Central Perk she's mistaken for Ursula by some Riff's patrons (Helen Hunt and Leila Kenzle...I think, from 'Mad About You'). Joey buys a birthday sweater for Ursula and asks Phoebe to try it on. Phoebe tells Joey she's not happy about him dating Ursula. Joey likes Ursula so much by this point, he disregards Phoebe's feelings. Phoebe asks if Joey and Ursula have had sex, but they hadn't yet. At Monica's, they flip the t.v. to a show with sisters and Phoebe asks them to turn it off. They all (except Joey) talk about Phoebe's feelings. It comes out that she's afraid Ursula will break Joey's heart, ruining Phoebe's friendship with Joey. The gang tells her to tell Joey what she just told them. She goes across the hall and Ursula answers the door, wearing nothing but a button-down shirt.

Rachel and Monica: are sorta fighting because Rachel hasn't taken the Christmas lights off the balcony yet. At the end of the episode, Rachel goes out to take the lights down and falls off the balcony. Her leg gets wrapped in the string of lights, keeping her from reaching the ground.

• This is a crossover episode with 'Mad About You.' Sort of. Lisa Kudrow played Ursula on 'Mad About You' before being cast as Phoebe. It's a good way to join the two shows, though, since Lisa Kudrow continued appearing on 'Mad About You.' I never watched 'Mad About You,' so I'm not really an authority on things that happened on that show.
• I can't find a picture of this, but Monica's hair is very Tracy Turnblad at the beginning of this episode. I kinda wish this was a fat-Monica episode; it'd be perfect.
  

• So, the Christmas lights aren't there in TOW: the Stoned Guy.

• Susan looks like she just walked out of the Salem Witch Trials.
  

• Monica knits and Chandler and Rachel hold her yarn. I'm pretty sure this is the only time Monica knits, ever. It's pretty sad that Chandler and Rachel have time to sit around and hold Monica's yarn.
  

• Chandler meets Leatherstocking. James Fenimore Cooper would be proud.
  

• I don't really think that stapling someone's hand is the way to go about defending your sanity.
  

• I'm not overly impressed by part 1. It's a bit...lackluster. It's moderately funny and some stuff happens, but I really don't see why this had to be a two-parter. Not much happens with Ross at Lamaze class until they see the birthing video; a lot of Ross's stuff could've been cut, I think.

• Sometimes Nina's last name is listed as "Bookbinder" but other times she's listed as"Nina the Bookbinder." I don't know.
  

• The 'S' in the WENUS acronym changes meaning! Instead of 'Systems' it's 'Statistics.' I guess the writers realized 'Systems' didn't make much sense.
  

Oh. My. God.

"This is unbelievable. It's been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you'd be looking like a ham right about now." -Chandler, waiting to be served at Riff's.

"I don't know whether he's testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control." -Ross, complaining about Marcel.

"You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things? Let's not do that anymore." -Chandler, after discussing the physical differences between Ursula and Phoebe with Joey.

"So, twins. Huh, that's like two births. Ouch." -Ross, deflecting attention from himself, Carol, and Susan at Lamaze class.

"Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack."
"Your--Excuse me?"
"WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics."
"Oh, right. Gotcha. It won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your...WENUS." -Chandler and Nina, talking about the WENUS.

"It's pretty ugly. We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies." -Mr. Douglas, Chandler's boss on the Annual Net Usage Statistics.

"Y'know, once your inside, you don't have to knock anymore." -Chandler, responding to a knock on the door after Joey comes in.

"Wow, this is serious. I've never known you to pay money for any kind of 'capade." -Chandler, learning that Joey is taking Ursula to the Ice-Capades.

"Knit, good woman! Knit, Knit!" -Chandler to Monica, as Phoebe and Joey argue.

"What do you know? No one's come up to you and said, 'Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it'?!?!" -Carol, after seeing the birthing video. Also, why I will never have children.

"Y'know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that monkeys and babies are actually different." -Chandler, as Ross compares Marcel to his unborn son.



Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow!!!