TOW: George Stephanopoulos

First off, this:

is George Stephanopoulos.

Anyway...

Ross, Joey, and Chandler: Joey and Chandler have tickets to a Rangers, Penguins hockey game and invite Ross along. While looking at the tickets, Ross realizes that it is October 20th, the date he and Carol first had sex. He mopes, reminiscing about that night and driving Chandler and Joey crazy. At the game, Ross is hit in the face with the puck and has to go to the ER. Chandler and Joey have ER fun, Ross continues to be sad, we learned that Carol was Ross's first and he's never been with another woman. Ross gets fixed, fights a kid for his puck, and hits the cranky ER receptionist in the face with said puck(accidentally). The guys go back to Monica and Rachel's where everyone plays Twister.

Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe: Rachel gets her first pay check, but is disappointed over how little she's paid. Rachel's rich-bitch friends from home come to Central Perk to see her. One of these women is pregnant, one is engaged, and one is getting promoted. Rachel feels like everyone is moving ahead, but she's starting her life over. She freaks out and freaks Monica and Phoebe out. They get drunk. Also, they're accidentally delivered political adviser George S.'s pizza. George lives right across the street, so they spy on him and his girlfriend. There are drunken shenanigans and balcony fun! By the time the guys get back from the game, the girls all feel better about their lives.

• Phoebe is staying the night with Monica and Rachel. Phoebe's grandma has a new boyfriend and they're deaf and insecure in bed, which keeps Phoebe awake at night Geriatric sex! Ahhhh!

• Finally! Other people in Central Perk pay attention to stuff! When Rachel's old friends come in and go, "EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" customers actually look at them like they're idiots. Thank God.

• Who names their kid Kiki? Ew. She's incredibly stupid. At least the name fits.

• The pregnant one? On the left?
  

Her face is the same color as her hair. How?

• Ross irritates the crap out of me this episode. I don't generally hate Ross, buy oh my God. I just want him to shut-up. I rejoice in my soul when he gets hit with the puck because he can't talk. I could care less that October 20th is the first time he slept with Carol. When we find out it wasn't just his first time with Carol, it was his first time ever, I'm so fed up with him I can not find an ounce of sympathy in my body. Chandler and Joey feel the same.
  

• Chandler has a battle of wills with the mean ER receptionist. Growing up I was sure that all hospital receptionists were like this. When I go to the ER (admittedly not a frequent occurrence) I expect it to be similar to this episode.

• George lives across the street from Monica and Rachel and they're soooooo excited. Why is he never mentioned ever again?
  

• Rachel drops a pillow off the balcony and a dude brings it back. How'd he know what apartment it belonged to? Maybe Monica labeled it?

• I miss Twister.
  

Oh. My. God.
"Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?"
"Probably kill myself!"
"...Excuse me?"
"Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live."
"Joey, uh-omnipotent."
"You are? Ross I'm sorry!" -Monica, Joey, and Ross.

"You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover."
"The hell with hockey, let's all do that!" -Ross and Joey, after Ross realizes it's the anniversary of he and Carol's first time.

"Look, look, I have elbows!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" -Phoebe, mocking Rachel's friends.

"Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's!!! What? I thought we were trying to find stuff." -Joey, breaking in on Ross's memories of he and Carol's first night.

"Okay, but Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist." -Rachel, explaining that Phoebe's Jack and the Beanstalk comparison is not applicable.

"Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?"
"Big Bird's friend." - Rachel and Phoebe.

"Hey, that's not for you bitch!" -Phoebe, yelling at George's lady friend eating their pizza.

"Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?"
"Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you..." -Chandler and Ross, as Chandler tries to figure out why Ross is so upset.

"Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs." -Chandler, making fun of Ross's bandaged nose.

"I've got magic beans."- Rachel, telling the Visa card people she's okay.