TOW: the Stoned Guy

Chandler: gets offered a job as 'processing supervisor.' He comes to Central Perk and tells the gang he quit his job because he didn't want to do...whatever it is he does (data input?) forever. He goes to a career counselor and after eight hours of tests learns he's suited to do exactly what he'd been doing. Chandler doesn't like this news; he hoped to learn he was destined for something better. Chandler's old boss, Al, keeps calling and making him better offers to take the processing supervisor job. Chandler eventually takes the job and is pleased with his big office, intercom, and assistant. At the end of the episode, he's working late and worrying about the WENUS, while the gang wants to go out to a movie.

Ross: starts dating the 'curator of insects' for the museum, Celia. Joey convinces Ross that she'll love Marcel, but she does not. Celia asks Ross to talk dirty to her and he fails. He goes to Joey for dirty talking advice. Joey has Ross practice on him and Chandler walks in. The practice helps, though, because Ross is able to dirty talk really well on his next date with Celia. They don't have sex because Ross's dirty talk scenario lasts so long they're both tired.

Monica: learns that one of Phoebe's massage clients, Steve (John Lovitz), wants to open a restaurant and is looking for a head chef. She has a great first meeting with Steve and sets up a time for her to make dinner for him, as a sort of audition. Rachel and Phoebe are in attendance the night of the dinner. Steve is really strange, scarfing down food and going through Monica's cabinets. Rachel lets Monica know that Steve is high. The night culminates with a trip to the ER after Steve eats a kitchen magnet. Monica is disappointed that her chance at becoming a head chef didn't work out.

Phoebe: tells Monica about the job opportunity with Steve. Monica wants Phoebe to be at the dinner to make 'yummy noises'. Phoebe takes a cab with Steve over to Monica's for the dinner. On the way, Steve smokes some pot. Phoebe is able to warn Rachel, but not Monica. The next time Steve comes to the massage parlor, Phoebe is really rough with him (hehehehe).

Rachel: is upset when she learns that Monica hired a girl from the restaurant she works at to waitress, instead of Rachel. When the other waitress backs out Rachel is reluctant to step in until Monica offers to pay her 20 bucks an hour. Rachel has to do a little charade thing to tell Monica that Steve is high.

Joey: helps Ross by giving him a lesson in dirty talking.

• Ah, the WENUS. In case you were wondering that's, Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. Is it just me or do none of those words make sense when put together?

• If I was Chandler, I'd be happy that I wasn't the curator of insects for a museum.
  

• I'm just going to let this speak for itself.

First, really, Ross? Neil Diamond? Seriously? Now I can't get 'Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon,' out of my head. Thanks for that.

Matt LeBlanc looks like he's about to lose it after Chandler walks out. For some reason, I'm always tickled when actors crack themselves up.

I think that Ross is wearing the same shirt here as he is in the beginning of the episode.

• JOHN LOVITZ!!!
  

Here we have the unexplainable phenomenon where I see an actor and get so excited for absolutely no reason. I don't much like John Lovitz, I sorta think he's a creep, but every time I see him in something my brain shrieks JOHN LOVITZ!!!!

Oh. My. God.

"The WENUS?"
"Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term."
"Oh...that WENUS." Rachel and Chandler, about why Chandler quit his job.

'Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream."
"Ah, the lesser-known 'I don't have a dream' speech." -Chandler and Ross.

"Oh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I might introduce her to my monkey."
"And he's not speaking metaphorically." -Ross and Chandler, about Ross's upcoming date with Celia.

"It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amuse-bouche."
"Well...it is amuse-ing." -Monica and Chandler, taste-testing Monica's cooking.

"Well, if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt!!!" -Joey, during the dirty talk lessons.

"Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?"
"Ok, Ok. I'm with you Cheech." -Phoebe and Rachel, after Steve gets high.

"Well, slap my ass and call me Judy!" -Steve, enjoying an amuse-bouche.

"Ah, cool! Taco shells!! Y'know, these are...they're like a little corn envelope." -Steve, going through Monica's cabinets. Also, my reaction to taco shells.

"Yes, Fran, I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!" -Chandler, at work.