Ross: goes to Chandler and Joey's after he has a date. Ross met the girl on the train when he was going to a museum upstate. He sat in such a way that the woman had to talk to him to get past. The date goes really late because the woman is from Poughkeepsie, which is, like, a two and a half hour commute. A couple days later, in Central Perk he gets up for another date. This date isn't with the girl from Poughkeepsie, but a new woman who lives in the City. He doesn't really like the new woman as much as the girl from Poughkeepsie, but it's more beneficial to date a woman who lives closer. A few days later, Ross falls asleep in Central Perk. He's exhausted because he's been dating the woman who lives in the City, and the one from Poughkeepsie. He has another date that night, but he needs to chose between the two. He doesn't know which one to go with, because they both have good points. Phoebe suggests that Ross just break up with both of them. Ross decides that's a good idea. He gets on the train, planning to break up with both women, only he falls asleep. He sleeps through his Poughkeepsie stop, even though the girl he's dating sees him and bangs on the window by his head. Ross doesn't wake up until the train stops in Montreal. There's a cute woman sitting beside him, who flirts with him. Montreal is her stop, and she asks Ross to go get coffee with her. Ross agrees, then learns she doesn't live in Montreal, but Nova Scotia.
Chandler and Rachel: Chandler's reading a paper in Central Perk, when he sees that the Christmas tree lighting is that evening. He's totally excited, until he's informed that the paper is old and the lighting was actually several weeks ago. He's disappointed because he wanted to take Kathy to the tree lighting. Rachel starts complaining that she doesn't have anyone to do stuff like that with. She's tired of being alone and wants to start dating again. Chandler offers to set her up with a guy he works with, and Rachel agrees. She tells Chandler that she isn't necessarily looking for a relationship, that a fling wouldn't be a bad thing. At work, Chandler approaches a co-worker, Drew, about dating Rachel. Chandler mentions that Rachel said she'd like to have a fling. Another guy overhears Chandler say this, and both guys start sucking up to Chandler for the chance to date Rachel. They offer him several different gifts, and one of them ends up giving Chandler his coat and tie. Later in Central Perk, Chandler tells Rachel about all the guys who are eager to go out with her. They're all giving him stuff as incentives to pick them. However, one guy, Patrick, really stands out. Rachel goes out with Patrick, ending up having a great time. Chandler is quick to remind Rachel that she's only looking for a fling. Rachel realizes that Chandler told the guys he worked with she only wanted a fling, which is particularly bad because she slept with Patrick on the first date. She yells at Chandler. Chandler's doing...something that may involve a golf club, when Rachel walks in. She slams the door, making Chandler drop the club. Patrick just ended things with her, and Rachel's certain it's because Chandler told Patrick that Rachel wanted a relationship. Chandler thought he was making things better by telling Patrick that, not realizing it'd make things work. He comforts Rachel by telling her that all of the guys at work wanted to go out with her based on her merits, he didn't have to lie about her at all. Chandler invites Rachel to go to a Rangers game to make her feel better.
Monica and Joey: In Central Perk, Monica tells the gang that she's still having trouble at work. The other employees hate her, and pick on her all the time. They wrote "quit bitch" on her chef hat. Monica tells them she hadn't been picked on that much since kindergarten, where the kids made fun of her weight. Monica explains that she won't quit because it's her dream job, plus, she doesn't like confrontations. Chandler tells a story about a director, maybe Orson Welles, who would hire someone just so he could fire them, and scare the other people on set into behaving. Monica wishes she could do that, and Joey volunteers. It turns out that Joey was a good choice, because he forgets he's supposed to work his very first day. When Joey gets to work, he notices that Monica's chef jacket has a huge burn mark on it. She explains that the other employees decided to bake it. Joey starts smacking her chest, because she's still on fire a little bit. Further on in the week, Joey asks Monica to start calling him 'Dragon;' it's his cool, new work nickname. Joey gets his tips from his first couple days, and makes nearly $500. Monica gathers the employees to tell them the specials. They won't write them down, because they're going to make up their own specials and force Monica to cook them. After this revelation, Monica makes her big firing speech, but totally fails at it. She waits for Joey to argue with her, but he remains silent. Monica scolds Joey for not speaking up, but he really likes the money he makes and doesn't want to get fired anymore. Joey tells her that he's going to get the other employees to trust him, and then get them to like Monica. Another day at work, Monica asks one of her employees to get more swordfish from the freezer. The employee refuses, so Monica goes to get it. Another employee shuts her in the freezer. Monica starts panicking, begging them to let her out, and knocking a thing of sauce over on herself. She flips out, then realizes that there's a handle on the inside of the freezer. She let's herself out, yelling at the employee who shut her in. The employees all think it's funny, but Monica freaks. Joey feels bad, so he steps up, staring a fight with her. Monica fires him. It scares the other employees, and they start listening to her. As Joey leaves, he bemoans being fired because now his children will go without Christmas gifts. Monica thanks him.
Phoebe: wants to write a holiday song for all her friends. She keeps coming up with different versions, but none of them really work out. At the end, she plays her song at Central Perk. She never came up with anything to rhyme with Chandler and Rachel, and just mumbles that part of the song.
- Chandler and Phoebe (mostly Chandler, I'm guessing) dare Joey to eat fifteen Oreos at once. Which he does.
That's quite an accomplishment?
- Chandler's surprised when Rachel wants a fling; he didn't think women ever wanted flings. But, uh, in TOW: the Flashback, he overhears Rachel saying she wants a fling before she marries Barry, and he tries to be the guy she flings with. Maybe he didn't think she was serious the first time because nothing happened between them? Or maybe the writers just forgot about the whole flashback thing.
- I really feel quite bad for Monica. It's hard enough starting a new job, can you imagine what it'd be like if your co-workers/employees hated you, and made it their mission to make you quit?
Monica's chef hat. Personally, I find it rather jaunty.
It seems like Monica's boobs are always catching fire.
This could turn into a really great commercial for laundry detergent.
- When Ross sells the Brown Bird cookies, Monica doesn't want anything to do with them because she started gaining weight when she was a Brown Bird. I thought she was at least seven or eight when that happened, but in this episode she was supposedly (supposably?) overweight all the way back in kindergarten.
- It's pretty awesome that all those guys start giving Chandler stuff (tickets to Ranger's games, their clothes, cigars, apparently their 401-k's) for the chance to date Rachel.
Ah, the beauty of pimping out your friends.
- I honestly could care less about the girl from Poughkeepsie storyline.
- Phoebe's finished holiday song.
- Why does Monica magically have this fear of confrontations? Cause, I don't know if you've noticed, but she can be pretty damn aggressive and controlling. I'm pretty sure, if Monica was my boss, I'd be terrified of her, and that she wouldn't have a whole lot of trouble making that happen.
- And, another thing, which I totally just thought of, Phoebe and Monica were roommates, but Phoebe had to move out because she couldn't stand living with Monica. So, how was she supposed to be able to work with Monica in a catering business? I'm thinking Monica wouldn't be less controlling in a professional setting, but those issues were never brought up. Funny how those things just disappear.
Oh. My. God.
"I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy."
"Were you so late because you were burying this woman?" -Ross and Chandler, about how Ross got a date with the girl from Poughkeepsie.
"Well, believe me, it's been a long time since I've been flung."
"Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas." -Rachel and Joey, during the rachel-wants-a-guy conversation.
"I don't like guys with boring jobs."
"Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?" -Rachel and Chandler, when Rachel goes over who she doesn't want to date.
"Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch'." -Phoebe, to Monica, to make her feel better.
"I mean, I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me." -Monica, talking about childhood trauma.
"Wait, do you know how to waiter?"
"Good enough to get fired." -Monica and Joey, discussing their firing plan.
"Does this Orson Welles guy direct Burger King commercials?" -Joey, not knowing who Orson Wells is.
"I know but it's hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!"
"What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole." -Phoebe and Joey, on things that rhyme with Rachel.
"Guys are signing over their 401-K's to me!"
"You work with robots?!" -Chandler and Phoebe.
"And, at the end of the date, the other time, she--she said something that was--if she was kidding, very funny. On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist." -Ross, about the girl who doesn't live in Poughkeepsie.
"Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!!"
"Well, like father, like son." -Rachel and Chandler, when Rachel's date with Patrick goes well.
"Why not?! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get--oh I see." -Chandler, realizing he said the wrong thing.
"Y'know, you should never be allowed to talk to people!" -Rachel, scolding Chandler after he tells Patrick that she wants a relationship.
"Well, actually, it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth." -Chandler, explaining to Rachel that the Rangers are a hockey team.
"I don't speak English." -An employee at the restaurant, when Monica asks for her help.