Monica and Phoebe: bring the gang out from Central Perk to show them the van they bought for their catering business. It's blue, with a lady riding a dragon, holding a sword painted on it. Her nipples also blink. Monica and Phoebe are going to fix it up, of course. Later, Monica excitedly tells Phoebe that she's filling in for the food critic in the Chelsea Reporter. At first, Phoebe's worried that Monica won't have enough time to work on the catering business, but Monica reassures her. Her role as critic will only take up one night a week, plus she can get everyone free food. Knowing this, Phoebe's okay with Monica taking the job. Monica brings copies of the paper into her apartment after her first review comes out. She shows Phoebe her review of Allesandro's, a restaurant which Monica says is awful. Phoebe tells Monica that she found someone who'll redo the van, and she has to take the van in. Phoebe leaves, and someone buzzes at the door. Monica responds, and it's Allesandro (Taylor Negron), who wants to talk to her about the review. Monica refuses to let him in, but Phoebe lets him go in when she leaves. Allesandro confronts Monica about her assertions that the food was inedible, and the waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants. Monica stands by her review and refuses to retract anything. She and Allesandro argue about the quality of the restaurant's pasta sauce. Monica decides to make some sauce to show Allesandro how it's done. Rachel comes home and Monica interrupts Rachel's news to tell her that Allesandro offered her the head chef position at the restaurant. Phoebe comes home with some news of her own, she got the van fixed up and a job catering a wedding reception. Monica has to tell Phoebe about the head chef job, and that she wants to take a step away from the catering business. Phoebe's pretty upset, but Monica offers to pay Phoebe back the money she invested and give her the van. Phoebe's so hurt, she leaves. Monica follows her. Things must not go well, though, because they meet in Central Perk later to talk. Monica made Phoebe a list of all the jobs she could have with the van. Phoebe doesn't like any of the delivering or picking up jobs, so Monica tells her she'll stick with the catering. Phoebe's excited, takes Monica's notepad, and prepares to start planning what they'll do for the wedding reception. Phoebe sees the pages, and pages of jobs Monica thought up for her, and tells Monica she should take the head chef job. Monica has her first day of Allesandro's. Allesandro introduces Monica to the kitchen staff, most of whom are relatives of the fired head chef. They all hate her.
Rachel: Learns of a job opening in the Junior-miss department at work. Rachel asks Joanna for her blessing to apply for the assistant buyer job. Joanna says it's okay, but then backtracks, but Rachel stops her. Joanna gives Rachel her blessing, and also tells Rachel she's on the hiring committee. During the interview, the other members of the committee seem really interested in Rachel for the position, but Joanna keeps saying things to undermine Rachel's chances. Joanna makes it seem like Rachel's barely good at being her assistant, and that Rachel has inappropriate relationships with designers. Later, Rachel confronts Joanna about her behavior during the interview. Rachel thinks Joanna really feels that she's a horrible assistant. Rachel decides to quit, and packs up her thing(s). Joanna begs Rachel not to leave, and promises to make her assistant buyer for their department. Rachel likes that idea, but wants her own assistant, a raise, and an expense account. Joanna agrees. Rachel buys a new suit, which she takes home to show to Monica. She starts to ask Monica how she thinks the suit would look on the new assistant buyer, but Monica interrupts to tell her about the head chef job. Phoebe comes in and Rachel asks her about the suit. Phoebe totally misses what Rachel's trying to tell her, but when she realizes they all celebrate. Until Phoebe learns about Monica's new job, but uh, beside the point. The next morning, Rachel goes into work, excited to start her new job. A woman, Mrs. Lynch (Jennifer Rhodes), comes out of Joanna's office. Mrs. Lynch informs Rachel that Joanna was killed the evening before. She was run over by a cab. Rachel asks Mrs. Lynch if Joanna put in any paperwork about the assistant buyer position before she left work. Joanna didn't, so Rachel's new job no longer exists. Sophie (Laura Dean), the other assistant, comes in to work quite cheerful. Rachel thinks she doesn't know that Joanna died, but Sophie already heard.
- This episode came out years before Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies. Can you imagine how freaking confused people were when they first saw this?? Now it's just, like, "Oh, Gandalf. Well, duh, like the wizard." Every time the say Gandalf, Elijah Wood's voice pops into my head.
- The partying makes me feel old. I'm only twenty-three and I don't like to party.
Let's pretend it's because I'm mature for my age, and would rather do all the things the twenty-nine year olds do (no Kenny G, please), and not because I'm lame.
- Joanna is so not Anna Wintour/Miranda Priestly. She should treat Sophie better.
Boy, Sophie's hair and suit are just bad. An assault on the eyes, really.
But maybe if Joanna'd been nicer to Sophie, she wouldn't have been hit by that cab.
But maybe if Joanna'd been nicer to Sophie, she wouldn't have been hit by that cab.
- I don't blame Monica for taking the job with Allesandro's, but I do feel bad for Phoebe. She was so excited to start the catering thing!
- Anybody remember Angels in the Outfield? Cause I'm pretty sure the guy who plays Allesandro is the same guy who, like, is forced to hang out with Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character at the ball field.
- So, I know the song's Alejandro, but seriously, whole time I was thinking "Don't call my name, don't call my name Allesandro."
- I like this one, but, gah, I don't have much to say about it. It's pretty astounding that Joanna dies, though. The first time I saw this one I was just like "what? She's dead? Oookay."
- Did anyone else feel impossibly old when Glee's Rachel said her dads named her after Rachel Green? Cause I sure did.
Oh. My. God.
"Our eyes are closed and we're about to cross the street. Very good." -Chandler, when Monica and Phoebe show the group the van.
"What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!" -Ross, seeing the van.
"I think I lost my virginity in this van." -Rachel, more with the van.
"I don't know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but there's this thing about bumblebees on the Discovery Channel I was planning to watch." -Ross, responding to Chandler's asking him if he wants to party.
"Alright, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?" -Monica, to Ross and Chandler, when they're celebrating Gandalf's upcoming visit.
"Well, why do you call him Gandalf?"
"Gandalf the wizard. Hello! Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school?"
"No, I had sex in high school." -Joey and Ross, about Gandalf.
"Don't you worry, I'm sure with your qualification you won't need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing." -Joanna, after Rachel tells her she's applying for the junior-miss job.
"Oh man! I'm so excited, I may vomit." -Chandler, waiting for Gandalf.
"Somewhere maybe along the equator?" -Ross, to Joey, after Joey asks where they'll be at noon.
"Stupid, useless Canadian money!" -Chandler, learning Gandalf won't be making it.
"Rachel can carry two things at once!" -Joanna, during Rachel's interview.
"You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer." -Joanna, to Rachel, when Rachel packs up her things.
"That you enjoyed the occasional drink...ing binge." -Joanna, to Rachel, explaining some other things she said to the hiring committee.
"I thought you'd be out partying with Gandelforf." -Joey, finding Ross and Chandler at home.
"I balanced my checkbook."
"Yeah, and I--I gave first names to all of the foosball players." -Ross and Chandler, telling Joey how they spent their morning.
"When, uh--when were we on a boat?"
"Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and all those dogs were licking your face? Well, those were seals, man." -Ross and Chandler, about the last time they were with Gandalf.
"Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but I'm soo happy!" -Rachel, to Monica, after Monica interrupts Rachel's news with some news of her own.
"You're the cook! Without you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money!" -Phoebe, to Monica, when Monica suggests Phoebe cater without her.
"Y'know, I'm 29 years old, damn it! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television, and go to bed at a reasonable hour!" -Chandler, explaining what he'd like to do with his evenings.
"And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!"
"We're 29, we're not women." -Ross and Joey.
"Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team." -Phoebe, looking over Monica's job suggestions. Sadly, they've already started the new A-Team. I'm pretty sure Bradley Cooper's a member.
"Are you gonna kill me?" -Monica, after being introduced to the kitchen staff at Allesandro's.