TOW: the Cuffs

Chandler and Rachel: Rachel comes over to Chandler and Joey's for juice one morning. While there, Chandler mentions that he ran into Joanna on the street the day before. Instead of it being an awkward meeting, Chandler and Joanna hit it off. Rachel's horrified that Chandler's getting involved with her boss again; It gets worse when Joanna walks out of Chandler and Joey's bathroom, wearing only a towel. Rachel loses it, because she almost lost her job the first time around. Chandler agrees to breakup with Joanna, even though now he likes her more. Chandler and Joanna fool around in her office. They're sort of broken up, but they're still hooking up. The phone rings, and Joanna has to leave to meet with her boss. Chandler starts to get dressed, but Joanna has other ideas. She thinks she'll be back in a few minutes, so she handcuffs Chandler to her desk chair. When Joanna leaves the office, she locks the door. Rachel notices and asks the other assistant, Sophie, why Joanna decided to lock the door. Sophie thinks it's because Joanna's working on the Christmas bonuses. Rachel has a secret, spare set of keys for Joanna's office. She and Sophie decide to sneak in and look at the bonuses list. They find Chandler. After Rachel and Sophie find him, Joanna's office phone rings. Chandler answers. It's Joanna, calling to say she won't be back for quite awhile; she's out with her boss. Chandler buzzes Rachel and asks her to come in Joanna's office. Rachel's hesitant, but she eventually goes in. Chandler tells her where the keys are and asks her to unlock him. Rachel yells at him for not ending things with Joanna, like he said he would. Chandler argues, because he did breakup with her, just not completely. Rachel is going to leave him, but he convinces her to let him out of the handcuffs. He runs to his clothes, but before he can get dressed, Rachel realizes that Joanna will now know that Rachel has a key to Joanna's office. Rachel wants to handcuff him again, but Chandler refuses. Rachel tries to cuff him, and the fight. She handcuffs him to the filing cabinet. Even after he's handcuffed, they keep fighting. Rachel wants to keep him cuffed, but Chandler points out that Joanna's going to realize he's handcuffed to the wrong thing. Rachel tries to bargain with him, but Chandler just wants freedom. Rachel shoves Chandler's tie in his mouth. Rachel keeps coming up with different things she can do for Chandler, but Chandler refuses to agree. She decides that if Chandler'll stay handcuffed, she'll tell everyone a version of the story that makes Chandler come out looking really good. If he doesn't agree, well, she's going to make him miserable. Chandler walks into Central Perk, and Monica and Phoebe are quite happy to see him. Rachel told them a very good version of the story. Joey quickly disabuses the two of them of any notion that Chandler is secretly a sex god. Chandler tells Rachel he really did breakup with Joanna this time. The next morning, Rachel walks into work and Joanna calls her into her office. Chandler's left Joanna handcuffed to the chair.

Monica and Phoebe: Mrs. Geller asks Monica to cater at an event she's throwing. Monica agrees, even though she thinks her mom's doing it because she feels sorry for Monica. Phoebe helps Monica prepare the food at the Geller house. Monica asks her mom why she wanted Monica to cater. Mrs. Geller says she's heard good things about Monica's catering (sort of; she's pretty bitchy about it). Monica takes it really well, though, thinking her mom finally has some faith in her abilities. Phoebe doesn't get that from Mrs. Geller's answer, but she goes along with Monica. Monica and Phoebe continue to prepare the meal, until Phoebe notices something strange about Monica's fingernails. Monica was wearing fake nails, only now she only has nine. Monica realizes that one of her nails is in a mini quiche, which are now ruined. She tells her mom what happened. Mrs. Geller had planned on Monica screwing up, she had a bet with Mr. Geller, and had back up lasagna in the freezer. Mrs. Geller calls the mistake "pulling a Monica." Monica realizes her mom never really had faith in her and storms out. Phoebe finds Monica in what used to be her bedroom (her parents turned it into an exercise room). Phoebe encourages Monica to go back down and prepare a meal, proving her mom wrong. Phoebe thinks that they could make "pulling a Monica" a good thing. Monica agrees to go back downstairs, but she's going to make her own meal, not the lasagna's her mom froze. Monica makes a casserole, which goes over really well with Mrs. Geller's guests. Mrs. Geller tells Monica she enjoyed the food, and apologizes. She admits she should've trusted Monica more.

Joey: brings some rusty patio furniture up from the basement. Mr. Treeger told Joey they could have it. Joey's at home alone, scraping dried gum off the bottom of the patio table, when someone knocks. Joey opens the door and an Encyclopedia salesman (Penn Jillette) walks right in. The salesman begins his schpeel by asking Joey if he ever feels like he doesn't know what his friends are talking about. Joey has a montage of all the times the gang talks about things he doesn't understand (constitutionality, Noble Prizes, the Algonquin Round Table). The salesman goes through the 'V' Encyclopedia with Joey. Joey says some boneheaded things, and the salesman is certain Joey needs the Encyclopedia's. They continue to read about words that start with 'V.' The salesman is sure he had a customer, and tells Joey he can own the whole set for $1200. Joey laughs at him, because it's obvious that Joey doesn't have that kind of money. Joey tries to prove how broke he is by cleaning the junk out of his pockets, but he finds $50. He thinks the pants are probably Chandler's, but he uses the money to buy the 'V' Encyclopedia. When they're all in Central Perk, he compares Joanna to Mount Vesuvius. Everyone's pretty astonished. Joey brings out all the other topics, starting with the letter 'V,' he can talk about. He mentions Vietnam, but Ross starts talking about a documentary he watched on the Korean War. Joey knows nothing about it, and just nods along.

Ross: isn't in this one much. He's there when Monica gets the catering job from her mom. He's also at Central Perk at the end.

• Mrs. Geller's a bitch.

I get legitimately upset for Monica here. If one of my parents ever did this to me, I'd cry. Probably a lot.

• Rachel cracks me up when she's freaking out.

I think maybe she's freaking out more than the situation warrants, but it's pretty delightful either way.

• This whole thing, all of it, is friggin' amazing.

I feel this situation could only happen to Chandler.

• Okay, something I'm confused about...after Rachel handcuffs him to the file cabinet, the play tug-of-war with his pants...Why?...Rachel got him re-handcuffed, which was her goal, so she could just leave. I mean, okay, that happening might put a damper on the rest of the storyline, but, y'know.
  

• I love Penn Jillette for very little reason. He's a perfect Encyclopedia salesman.

• I can see Joey not knowing anything about the Algonquin Round Table, and maybe--maybe constitutionality, but he should totally know what the Noble Prize is.

• "Man, are they a violent igneous rock formation." YES.

• Good episode. I don't have much bad to say about it... most of the action is with Chandler and Rachel, which is good because you can never go wrong with work place bondage.

Oh. My. God.

"Oh, no-no-no, I'm--I'm paddling away!" -Chandler, to Joey, when Joey asks him not to go anywhere.

"Could we be more white trash?" -Chandler, to Joey, while they're sitting on their rusted patio furniture and the chick and duck come in.

"Umm, do you guys have any juice?"

"Just pickle" -Rachel and Joey.

"Okay, don't panic. I'm gonna go to the store, I'm gonna get you another set of nails. No one's gonna know, and you're gonna look great. Oh! Oh, it's cause they're gonna eat--that's the problem." -Phoebe, to Monica, upon learning Monica's lost one of her fingernails.

"When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me." -Chandler, to Joanna, on why he's getting dressed.

"But if you don't come back soon--there's pretty much noting I can do about it!" -Chandler, after Joanna handcuffs him and leaves.

"Hello sweet pants!!" -Chandler, to his pants, after Rachel lets him go.

"Well, this is much better." -Chandler, when Rachel handcuffs him to the file cabinet.

"Where does the Pope live?"

"In the woods!" -The salesman and Joey.

"Spock's birth control." -Joey, telling the salesman what vulcanized rubber is.

"And a fifty! Huh, these must be Chandler's pants." -Joey, finding money in his pants pocket.

"Oh! I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!"

"With extra pulp??"

"Yeah!"

"No!" -Rachel and Chandler, bartering for Chandler's freedom.

"So, if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you..."

"A bitch?" -Monica and Mrs. Geller.

"And speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent igneous rock formation." -Joey, showing off his new found knowledge.

"Could there be more Kims?" -Chandler, talking about Korea.