TOW: Chandler in a Box

Chandler and Joey: Joey refuses to talk to Chandler. Because Joey won't stay in the same room as Chandler, Chandler tries calling Joey. Chandler calls, and Joey hangs up. They do this several times. Chandler pretends to be a DJ, calling to say Joey won a contest. When Joey realizes it's Chandler, Joey hangs up. Ross calls, and Joey talks to him until Ross says he's calling for Chandler. Joey hangs up. Chandler strolls into Monica and Rachel's, where he laments its being Thanksgiving. Joey walks in, but starts to leave when he sees Chandler. They make Joey stay to draw Secret Santa names, but he leaves soon after. Chandler watches the Parade; he looooves the parade. Rachel leaves the room, and he asks Monica or Phoebe if they drew her name for Secret Santa. He already bought her a briefcase engraved with her initials. Phoebe cautions Chandler about Rachel's habit of exchanging gifts. Chandler decides to give the briefcase to Ross, because he and Rachel have the same initials. Chandler comes back to Monica and Rachel's, after trying to make head way with Joey. He's feeling pretty confident, because this time Joey only slammed the door once and flipped Chandler off. Ross is over, and asks Chandler to trade Secret Santa's with him, but Chandler can't because he needs to trade for Ross. Chandler warns Ross against trading with Phoebe, who drew Rachel's name. Ross goes across the hall to talk to Joey. Joey's packing up all the furniture Chandler bought, though he's planning to move the TV to his room. Ross wants Joey to make up with Chandler, but Joey argues that Ross would've been just as upset if Chandler kissed Rachel. Joey says he's going to punish Chandler for five years, and that Chandler's no longer his best friend, Ross is. Ross tells Joey, as his best friend, to talk to Chandler. Chandler's in Central Perk, telling Kathy about what's going on with Joey. Joey walks in, looking for Chandler. Gunther directs Joey to where Chandler's sitting, and Joey sees Chandler and Kathy kiss. Joey leaves, and Chandler chases after him. When Chandler reaches the apartment, Joey's packing his stuff. Joey's going to stay at his parents, while he looks for a new apartment. Chandler begs him not to go, saying he'll break up with Kathy if it'll keep Joey from leaving. Joey says Kathy isn't really the issue, it's that Chandler kissed her and is a bad friend. Joey tells Chandler that during the robbery, when he was locked in the unit, all he could think about was how he let Chandler down. Chandler says he'd lock himself in a box, if it'd make Joey forgive him. They have a box. The large packing crate for the foosball table is moved to Monica and Rachel's. Chandler's in it. There are Chandler-in-the-box shenanigans, because he keeps cracking jokes, infuriating Joey. Joey finally gets irritated enough to tell Chandler to start taking it seriously, or just get out of the box. Chandler promises not to talk anymore, which he follows through on. Kathy comes by Monica and Rachel's, looking for Chandler. She apologizes to Joey, who directs her to the box. Kathy tells Chandler they shouldn't see anymore, because she doesn't want to ruin a friendship. Kathy's going to stay with her mom in Chicago, but is really sad because she thought her relationship with Chandler could be something amazing. She leaves, and Joey lets Chandler out. They make up, and hug. Joey tells Chandler to go after Kathy, which he does. Chandler catches her on the street and they kiss.

Rachel and Ross: Ross learns from Chandler that Rachel always returns gifts. Ross doesn't believe Chandler; he got Rachel a gold necklace the year before and she loved it. When Rachel gets back from the doctor with Monica, Ross asks to see the necklace. Rachel brings one out, quickly showing it to him. He knows it's the wrong one. Rachel defends her behavior, saying she exchanged it for something she'd really like. Ross is pretty upset. During dinner, Ross won't stop mentioning how Rachel exchanges gifts, until he crosses the line and really upsets her. Ross says she's devoid of sentiment. Rachel storms to her room, coming back with a shoe box full of memorabilia from their relationship. She shows him various articles, a movie ticket stub, an egg shell, a piece of bone or horn (from the museum). Ross, abashed, apologizes, but informs her she shouldn't have taken the thing from the museum. Rachel goes with Monica to the eye doctor.

Monica and Phoebe: Monica prepares dinner for everyone, with help from Phoebe. They think that since money's tight, the group should draw names for Secret Santa, to cut down on Christmas costs. Monica already has names written out on. Monica goes over to the freezer, which is having some issues. It's too cold, and making too much ice. Monica starts chipping at it, and gets a sliver of ice in her eye. It hurts a lot, and looks pretty bad. Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe tell her she needs to get to an eye doctor, only Monica doesn't want to go, her doctor being Richard. It's so painful though, that Phoebe calls Richard's office. The receptionist tells Phoebe that Dr. Burke isn't in, but the on-call doctor can see Monica. Rachel goes with Monica, who is quite relieved she won't have to see Richard. Monica leaves Phoebe in charge of the food. Phoebe starts doing whatever she wants with recipes. Phoebe has to call her mom, leaving Chandler in charge. In the waiting room, Monica and Rachel watch a really cute doctor walk into the back. The receptionist tells Monica that Dr. Burke is ready for her, and Monica freaks. The receptionist meant Dr. Timothy Burke (Michael Vartan), Richard's son. Monica has her appointment with young Dr. Burke. It's a tad bit awkward. Her eye is scratched, and she has to wear a patch. Monica asks Tim about his Thanksgiving plans. He was supposed to have dinner with his girlfriend, but they broke up, and now he just has a bag lunch. At the apartment, Monica tells everyone she invited Tim over for dinner. They all, including Phoebe, think it's gross. They tease her about it, making her mad. She storms into her bedroom, listing all the dumb things her friends have done in their past relationships. Tim arrives, and Monica's super nice to him, even letting him use the fancy bathroom soap. After dinner, Monica and Tim go out to the balcony together. They discuss the weirdness, which both of them expected, but it's non-existent. They kiss. Tim moves in to deepen the kiss, but Monica flinches back. Tim's kiss reminded her of Richard. Tim's totally grossed out, and says Monica reminds him of a younger version of his mom. Monica spends the rest of the episode icked out.

• This is my favorite episode OF ALL TIME! It's not so much the stuff with Monica and Tim; after seeing that a few times, it gets kinda boring, but CHANDLER IN A BOX!!!!

• There's really no good reason that it's my favorite. I mean, Chandler in a box is amazing, but you'd expect the wonderfulness to wear off after awhile. Not really, though. I'd always liked the show, but it was my BFF from college's favorite ever. She had every season, so we spent most of our lives watching Friends. Somehow this episode became our favorite. So much so that we would expound on the purpose of the box, and do Chandler's sad finger wave to each other whenever one of us left the room.
  

We may have moved on, as far as our friendship goes, but this episode will forever have my heart.

• Chandler's, like, super adorable with his love for the Macy's Parade.

• Eye patch humor

it will never go away, will it?

• Ross is pretty mean about Rachel's gift exchanging. In his defense, Rachel should've been honest about how much she liked the gifts. It's totally okay to tell someone something isn't really your thing.

Also, what gift cards are for.

• Monica and Tim together is a little weird. Could you imagine family dinners with Monica, Tim, and Richard. Would you like to be able to say that you've slept with every man at the dinner table?

• I think what I find especially unappealing about Tim and Monica as a couple is that Monica reminds Tim of his mom. That's just super creepy. And it makes me wonder if that's something that attracted Richard.

• I don't think I can say this enough: the purpose of box is three-freaking-fold!!! It's possible that's the greatest line ever, in the world.

• Best Moment. The bestest of the best, in fact.

• Yeah, Michael Vartan looks nothing like Tom Selleck. Not even a little bit of resemblance.

• I've been thinking... Monica and Rachel never really have fights as bad as Chandler and Joey. Like, there was the thing with Jean Claude Van Damme, but they resolved it pretty quickly. Monica and Rachel just never seem to get so angry at one another, that one wants to move out.

Oh. My. God.

" Ugh, turkey! Ugh, giving thanks! Ugh!"

"Look, everyone! The spirit of Thanksgiving!" -Chandler and Phoebe.

"That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it... There was no big dog." -Chandler, to Phoebe, realizing Rachel exchanges all her gifts.

"Y'know what, though, it's kind of a girlie briefcase."

"Who cares? He works in a museum." -Chandler and Monica, about giving Rachel's briefcase to Ross.

"He's really picky about his patients." -Chandler, to Monica, when she says she can't go to Richard because she doesn't have a boyfriend.

"I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking question." -Phoebe, to Ross and Chandler, when Monica leaves her in charge.

"Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then, uh..."

"Big dog?" -Ross and Chandler, on Rachel's gift exchanging.

"You've sentenced him?!"

"Hey! Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time." -Ross and Joey, discussing how long Joey's going to be mad at Chandler.

"I thought you were Chandler. But, umm, one of you is over there." -Gunther, to Joey.

"Oooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye." -Rachel, to Monica, about the cute eye doctor.

"Alright, look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year, what with the robbery and all! That chick used to be cute!" -Chandler, to Joey, on why they should stay together for the chick and duck.

"We've got a box." -Joey, to Chandler, after Chandler says he'd look himself in the unit if they still had it.

"I was probably waiting for it to open." -Monica, to Tim, after he says the last time he saw her was at Dairy Queen.

"It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner!"

"If it was a Greek tragedy, I'd be blind in both eyes!" -Rachel and Monica, after Monica invites Tim for dinner.

"Hey, y'know, Mon, if things work out between you and Richard's son, you'd be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather."

"Fine! Judge all you want to, but, married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, livin' in a box!" -Ross and Monica.

"The meaning of the box is three fold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts!" -Chandler, explaining the box.

"What happened?? What happened??"

"You kissed my girlfriend!" -Chandler and Joey, during a football game.

"Like 'em, like 'em? Or, 'I'd like to get store credit for that amount' like 'em?" -Ross, to Rachel, when she says she likes a pair of sunglasses.

"Fancy soap? I thought we were savin' that for the Pope!" -Rachel, to Monica telling Tim to use the good soap.

"But Monica do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, 'that's not how your father used to do it'?" -Phoebe, to Monica, about dating Tim.

"Though, you're not supposed to take these. It's like, a million years old. We--we actually, we had people looking for that." -Ross, to Rachel, about the bone she kept from the museum.

"You--you have a very beautiful...eye." -Tim, complimenting Monica.

"Joey had his reasons."

"They were threefold." -Rachel and Phoebe, explaining the box to Kathy.