TOW: All the Poker

They play poker. It's a battle of the sexes kinda thing. It all starts when Ross, Chandler, and Joey discuss their latest game in Central Perk and Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe want to know why they never play cards with any women. The guys say they don't know any women who play poker and the girls demand to be taught how. Monica and Ross do their whole, Geller competitiveness thing, which ups the men vs. women poker ante (yeah, yeah, it's lame). The girls lose their first game, and then enlist Monica's Aunt Iris (Beverly Garland) to teach them how to play. After their first lesson, they go to Ross's and play more, losing again. Aunt Iris gives the girls another lesson. The next game is at Monica's where Rachel ends up winning. Oh, and apparently playing Pictionary with Monica is dangerous because she once threw a plate.

The real story for this episode is Ross and Rachel.

Ross: is at Central Perk with Chandler and Rachel is working. Chandler teases Ross about how much he obviously wants Rachel. Ross denies it, but we all know it's a lie. During the poker, Ross is super-competitive and gives Rachel (and Monica and Phoebe) a talk about how, when he plays poker, he's not a nice guy. He and Rachel kind of get into it over his macho posturing, but Ross doesn't back down. The same thing happens in the second game, where Rachel losses the most and Ross teaser her mercilessly. During the final game, Rachel actually beats Ross. The next round, Rachel starts betting irresponsibly and goads Ross into not folding. Ross has the better hand, but allows Rachel to win (she doesn't realize this, of course).

Rachel: sends out tons of resumes at the beginning of the episode (a few typos not withstanding). She gets an interview at Saks to be an Assistant Buyer. The interview goes really well and she's sure she'll get the job. The stuff with Ross and the poker playing is going on at the same time. She's really irritated by how smug Ross acts when he wins. During their last game at Monica's, she wins a hand against Ross and is very excited. She gets the call from Saks about the job. She didn't get it. She starts betting quite a bit of money and everyone folds, but Ross. Rachel reminds him that he's not a nice guy, making him stay in the game. The pot gets up to around seventy bucks before they stop betting. Rachel shows her cards and has a full house; Ross tells her she wins. The girls celebrate, not knowing that Ross is lying and actually had the better hand.

• A few times since the first episode Rachel has said she's qualified for nothing. But she has a college degree, so that can't be true. She has to be qualified for something. I mean, my degree is absolutely worthless in the job market, but having a bachelor's degree I could get a fairly well paying job.
  

• Okay, I'm a girl. I've played poker. More than that, I understand and can win at poker. That's not to say I'll be appearing in the World Series of Poker anytime soon, or anything, but it is a skill that I have. Because of that, I'm kind of irritated by this episode. I'm not an ardent feminist, or whatev, but being a girl doesn't mean you don't have the mental faculties to play poker and to me Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are kind of portrayed as ding-bats.
  

• I hate Ross's giant dragonfly.

I kinda wanna throw it to the floor and watch it break. I don't know why.

• I'm a fan of the cardigan, in a general sort of way.
  

But even Mr. Rogers would object to Phoebe's.

• Ross is such.a.jerk. this episode. I'm not sure if it's the competitive thing or if he's trying to fool himself into thinking he's not interested in Rachel anymore, or both, but jeez. Letting Rachel win to make her happy is really sweet, but doesn't much lessen the asshole factor.

• There are two best.moments. ever. in this episode. I love it when that happens.
  

It's the moment before the opening titles. I never knew this was the Theme from "Bridge on the River Kwai." Then again, I've never seen that movie. I just thought the song was, like, a summer camp thing.

Moment two:



Oh.My.God

"Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for." -Chandler, responding to Rachel wanting to work for "Popular Mechanics."

"Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills."
"Oh my Gooood!! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?"
"Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few." -Ross, Rachel, and Joey, sending out Rachel's resumes.

"Could you want her more?"
"Who?"
"Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening." -Chandler and Ross, about Ross's feelings for Rachel.

"Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep'."
"And then he did." -Ross and Chandler, teasing Joey for crying after losing at poker.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz--." -Joey, complaining about the salmon roulettes and crudites Monica serves.

"Rach, Rach, we gotta settle."
"Settle what?"
"The Jamestown colony of Virginia... You see, King George is giving us the land, so..." -Chandler and Rachel, at the end of their first poker game.

"Yes, and I get my ya-ya's' from Ikea." -Chandler, while Rachel and Ross fight.

"Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black." -Phoebe, calling Monica a hypocrite for saying Ross is competitive.

"Oh, it's like the mother-ship calling you home." Phoebe, after Rachel gets an interview with Saks.

"Um, ok--the--the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?" -Chandler, responding to Rachel's 'guess what?'

"Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen..." -Ross, mocking Rachel, in rhyme.

"Your money's mine, Green."
"Your fly is open, Geller." -Ross and Rachel, during the last poker game.

"Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause...I gotta flush." -Ross. Please shut-up.

"Ahh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face." -Joey.

"Joey, I'm a little shy."
"That's ok, Ross, you can ask me. What?" -Ross and Joey, as Ross tries to ask for money to call Rachel's bet.