TOW: Mrs. Bing

Monica and Phoebe: are at a newsstand when they see an attractive guy. Phoebe convinces Monica to whistle at him. When Monica does, the guy looks up and is hit by an ambulance. Phoebe and Monica visit 'Coma Guy' in the hospital and take care of him. They start fighting over him because they each start visiting the hospital separately. Phoebe is performing a song about the guy in Central Perk and Monica sneaks out to visit him. Phoebe chases after Monica. When they get to the hospital the guy is awake, but not as gracious as Phoebe and Monica expected. They're angry at him and leave the hospital as friends again.

Ross: is upset when Paolo comes back from Rome. Paolo and Rachel are all over each other and Ross is jealous. He drinks too much tequila at dinner with Chandler's mom (Morgan Fairchild) because of Paolo and Rachel. Ross goes to the restroom and when he exits Mrs. Bing is using the pay phone. They talk about Rachel and Paolo and how Paolo is a secondary character, but Ross is the hero. They end up kissing. Joey catches them, but d0esn't tell Chandler. Ross tries to convince Joey to never tell, but Joey doesn't agree. Ross first tells Chandler that Paolo kissed his mom, but then confesses he kissed Mrs. Bing. Chandler won't talk to him, but Ross tries to apologize. Ross attempts to make Chandler see that there were two people involved in the kiss and he should be mad at both. Ross and Chandler make up after Chandler talks to his mom.

Chandler: is not happy when he learns his mom is coming for a visit. Mrs. Bing ) is a romance novel author and appears on' The Tonight Show' to promote her book. She's over the top and very open about her sexuality, making Chandler incredibly uncomfortable. The group, and Mrs. Bing, go to dinner at a Mexican restaurant where they drink lots of tequila. Chandler notices that Joey and Ross are being weird, but does not know why, until Ross confesses he kissed Chandler's mom. Chandler is angry with Ross, but not as angry with his mom. Chandler finally confronts his mom about her behavior and feels better, forgiving Ross.

Joey: goes to the bathroom at dinner and sees Ross and Mrs. Bing kiss. He doesn't tell Chandler, but he thinks that Ross should confess. He gets upset when Ross says that Mrs. Bing isn't like a regular mom because she's hot. Joey wants to know why his mom isn't hot and tries to convince Ross for the rest of the episode that she was attractive in her day.

Rachel: spends most of the episode making out with or being licked by Paolo. She loves Mrs. Bing's books and decides to write her own. She hands out copies of the last chapter for everyone to read. There are a lot of typos in the manuscript and everyone makes fun of her. She takes the copies back.

• Let's take a moment to admire Phoebe's 'Blossom' Hat

Monica's hat is pretty epic, but Phoebe's is in a class all its own.

• I guess if you had to get hit by a car, an ambulance is the right vehicle for the job.
  

• I'm not sure how I feel about the hotness of Coma Guy. Here he kinda looks like Cary Elwes. 'Princess Bride' era Cary Elwes, not 'Saw' era.
  

But sometimes, especially in the coma and after he wakes up, he reminds me of Willem Dafoe.

• I for one think Nora Bing is freakin' awesome. She writes a book called 'Mistress Bitch' for christ's sake! What's not to love? Also, if that book really existed, I'd totally buy it.

• Monica and Phoebe's storyline is a little, ummm, boring and dumb. I'm just really not in to them fighting over this guy that neither of them know. Maybe if I found coma guy more attractive I'd understand, but as it is, this part of the episode makes me all 'eh.'
  

• I'll admit to occasionally having the mentality of a twelve year old boy when it comes to dirty things. I still giggle when people say sixty-nine, after all, but Rachel's typos in her book make my flippin' day.
  

• Chandler's mom:
  

• I still want to know why Mrs. Bing was arrested. They never say. It has something to do with sex and Kung Pow Chicken....ah, the endless possibilities.
  

Oh. My. God

"Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn around and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'? -Monica, after Coma Guy was hit by the ambulance.

"Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?" -Chandler, after learning about Coma Guy

"When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?"
"Last night."
"Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?...Just a dream I had-but, phew." -Ross and Monica.

"Your mom was arrested?"
"Shh, busy beaming with pride." -Phoebe and Chandler, watching Mrs. Bing on 'The Tonight Show.'

"Oh no, I'm a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms."
"...And then he burst into flames." -Mrs. Bing and Chandler.

"Uhhh, I'll just pee in the street." -Joey, seeing Ross and Mrs. Bing kissing on his way to the bathroom.

"He's not even wearing a jockstrap!"
"What did I ask?" -Joey and Monica, as Joey and Ross are trying to hide what they're talking about after Ross kisses Mrs. Bing.

"Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?" -Rachel, asking for Monica's advice on her romance novel

"Because it's complicated, it's complex-Hey, you kissed my mom!"
"We're rehearsing a Greek play." -Chandler and Ross, arguing in Central Perk.

"You kissed my best Ross!" -Chandler, confronting his mom.

"Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door." -Ross, finding Joey eavesdropping.

"Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not reaching for her 'heaving beasts'."
"What's a 'niffle'?"
"You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'." -Rachel, Monica, and Joey, reading Rachel's first chapter.

"Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? You don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!" -Ross, reading Rachel's first chapter.