TOW: Rachel Quits

Rachel: is working when Gunther tells her that Terry wants her to be trained again. Rachel's furious. She starts re-doing her training and hates every minute of it. During her training one day, she starts talking to Chandler and Joey about how much she hates her job. They tell her to quit so she'll have the motivation to find a job in a field she wants to work in. She really wants to work in fashion. After this conversation, Gunther calls her over to show her which pot is regular and which is decaf. She gives her weeks notice and Gunther is heart broken. When her last week is nearly over, she comes into the apartment with resumes. She enlists the others to help her stuff the envelopes. She's freaking out because she quit, but doesn't have any prospects. She yells at Chandler for convincing her to quit. Joey comes in and tells her that his dad is doing plumbing work for a company called Fortunata Fashions and they're hiring. Joey offers to get her an interview and she agrees. She comes back from her interview even more upset because it didn't go well; she's sure she didn't get the job. She ends up getting hired. She serves her last cup of coffee at Central Perk. She makes a speech about how she's done serving coffee, but she'll miss everyone. Gunther runs out of the room. At her new job, Rachel gets to make her boss coffee.

Ross: Ross and Chandler come back from playing racquetball. Ross lectures Chandler about the proper way to backhand. He decides to demonstrate a backhand as they're going up the stairs; he swings and knocks down a little girl who's selling cookies for the Brown Birds. In Central Perk, Ross talks about how he broke the little girl's leg. He feels really bad and is planning to go visit her that afternoon. The girl's name is Sarah (Mae Whitman) and Ross tries to make her feel better about the broken leg. He talks about how she gets time off school and doesn't have to sell cookies anymore. The only problem is, Sarah wanted to sell the cookies because the girl who sells the most gets a trip to Space Camp. Sarah loves anything to do with Space and really wanted the trip. She doesn't have a very good home life because her dad gambles a lot and they don't have very much money. Ross decides to buy enough boxes so that Sarah'll win, but it'll be too expensive. Instead, he ends up selling them for her. He gets yelled at by an old woman in an apartment building for pretending to be ab Brown Bird; she calls 911. Ross makes the gang all buy a couple of boxes. Ross ends up selling 517 boxes. After selling 50 boxes when a Laser Floyd concert gets over at the museum, Ross realizes that the key to his success is the munchies. He starts going to NYU at midnight and makes tons of sales. Ross goes to a Brown Bird meeting for Sarah to see which girl sold the most cookies. Ross is sure he won and gets in a fight with one of the girls. One of the girls sold 871 boxes. Ross tries to make his total higher, but the group leader knows what he's up to. Ross ends up losing to a girl who gave her teenage sister her uniform and sent her to a Navy ship where she sold nearly a thousand boxes. Ross feels bad that Sarah can't go to Space Camp. He brings Sarah to Joey and Chandler's where they've set up a pretend Space Camp.

Phoebe and Joey: Joey's got a job selling Christmas trees. He leaves for work one evening and Phoebe expresses her horror at all the killing of trees. Joey tries to convince her that the tree's are fulfilling their Christmas destinies. Phoebe visits him at work to try to change her idea about the Christmas tree operation. It goes pretty well until Phoebe sees a sad, dead tree. She asks Joey what happens to it and he tells her it'll be moved to the back and go into the chipper. Phoebe sees the chipper in action and freaks. One evening, Joey makes a sale and Phoebe runs up to the gentleman with one of the old, dead trees. She tries to get the guy to buy a dead tree so it can fulfill it's Christmas destiny. The guy decides not to buy a tree yet and Joey tells Phoebe she has to stop because he's working on commission. Monica comes to buy a tree and Phoebe tries to get her to buy the dead one, but Monica won't. Phoebe decides to give up. Phoebe and some of the others walk into Monica and Rachel's to see it filled with the dead trees. Monica and Joey got them for Phoebe so they could fulfill their destinies.

Monica: wants nothing to do with the Brown Bird cookies. When Ross makes everyone buy a few boxes, Monica refuses. She started gaining weight as a child when she was a Brown Bird and sold cookies. Mr. Geller had to buy every single one of her boxes because Monica ate them all. Ross makes her take some boxes. While Ross is totaling up his sales, Monica comes to him for a few more boxes of "Mint Treasures." Ross says they're sold out and she begs him for some. Ross says no, that he's cutting her off because she's out of control.

Chandler: helps convince Rachel to quit at Central Perk. He helps her make up and print out her resumes on his computer. He runs away when Rachel freaks out about having quit her job, but having no prospects. He and Joey help Ross with the Space Camp for Sarah.

• I really like the Brown Bird aspect of this episode, but I get kinda bored with Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey. There stuff is entertaining, but not too exciting.

• Ross is such a doofus. You don't practice your backhand on a staircase!

• I find it unrealistic that Sarah's dad doesn't sue Ross. I mean, I know that's not exactly the way Friends goes, but seriously. This guy is apparently a heavy gambler, you think he's going to pass up the opportunity for money? I don't really think so. But maybe that's my cynical, twenty-first century attitude. I also find it unrealistic that someone would let their young daughter pal around with strange men in NYC. This is about to be an episode of Law & Order: SVU.
  

• Sarah, our Brown Bird friend.

If this little girl looks familiar, it may be for several reasons. Currently she plays Lauren Graham's daughter on Parenthood.


Or you may have seen her as Sandra Bullock's daughter in Hope Floats, or as the President's daughter in Independence Day. My particular favorite, though, is her role on Arrested Development. That's right, it's George-Michael's girlfriend, Egg!! (or Ann, but I prefer Egg). This is only significant because I spent a large amount of time trying to figure out where I knew the Brown Bird girl from.

• Ross goes door-to-door to sell Sarah's cookies. An angry old woman threatens him through her peep hole (that sounds so dirty.)

When I was in high school, I had to go around selling photography packages to raise money for our speech team (I don't know why, it was a supreme waist of time). Anyway, I went door-to-door and an old lady ripped up the information card and threw it in my face. I've never fully recovered.

• Aw, several dead trees.
  

Yay!

• It's quite possible this is the best thing ever.

I wanna be spun around by Joey, Chandler, and Ross in a foil covered recliner.

• I love the absurdity of the names of the cookies. Cream filled Jesus's? Amazing.
  

• Whenever I look at this episode's title, I think it's TOW: Rachel Quilts. I'm always like "they had to make a whole episode of her quilting?" Then I realize.
  

Oh. My. God.
"Well, as old as he is in dog years, do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?" -Chandler, reading the comics.

"Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl is not a backhand."
"I was shrieking like a Marine." -Ross and Chandler, discussing Chandler's backhanding abilities.

"Says here that a muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around ten-ish?" -Chandler, after Ross breaks Sarah's leg

"Yes. Yes, and uh, uh, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York." -Chandler, trying to make Phoebe feel better about the lives of Christmas trees.

"You're no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole." -the Old Lady, to Ross as he sells cookies.

"All right, I'll take a box of the cream filled Jesus's." -Joey, buying some Brown Bird cookies.

"Ahh, do you have any coconut flavored deities?" -Chandler, buying cookies.

"Come on, all the cool kids are eating 'em!" -Ross, trying to get Monica to buy more boxes of cookies.

"Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?" -Chandler, after Rachel quits.

"I spelled out boobies." -Chandler, playing with a calculator.

"Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck." -Ross, cutting Monica off.

"They call me 'Cookie duuuude'." -Ross, about his college kid munchie strategy.

"Run, Joey! Run for your life!" -Chandler, when Rachel's mad at him for talking her into quitting.

"Snow-in-a-can!!!" -Joey, showing everyone the snow. In a can.

"You're a big scrud." -a Brown Bird, that Ross sits by at the meeting.

"Um, that's because my doctor says that I have a very serious...nuget...deficiency." -Ross, explaining to the troop leader why he bought so many boxes himself.

"Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself really perked up my Christmas." -Chandler.

"It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees'." -Chandler, coming into Monica and Rachel's and seeing the trees.

"Sure, everybody loves a kidder." -Chandler, while Rachel's on the phone being told she got the job.

"I'm an alien! I'm an alien!" -Chandler, at Sarah's Space Camp.