TOW: the Princess Leia Fantasy

Alternate title: JOEY AND JANICE'S DAY OF FUN!!!!

Ross and Rachel: Ross and Rachel are having breakfast at Monica and Rachel's. They discuss what they think is the most romantic song and try to help Monica deal with her breakup with Richard. Monica drops a clump of Richard's drain hair into Ross's cereal. Ross and Rachel are in bed, Ross is working, but Rachel wants attention. She asks if he still has the Navy uniform (no) and if he has any sexual fantasies. At first he says no, but when Rachel says she might do it, he tells her about the Princess Leia in the gold bikini thing. Rachel tells Phoebe and Phoebe teases Ross about it. Ross and Rachel fight about her sharing too much. Rachel says that's what girls do and didn't realize that guys don't share like that. Rachel thinks it's sad that guys don't share. Ross tells Chandler and they decide to share stuff. Chandler shares too much when he admits to unintentionally picturing his mom during sex. Ross is really grossed out. Rachel puts on the costume, but Ross can't enjoy it because he's picturing his mom.

Chandler: gets serious about Janice. She makes pancakes. She and Chandler are really gross together. Joey keeps asking when he's going to break up with Janice, but Chandler says he isn't. Chandler has three tickets to a Rangers game and invites Joey. Joey's excited until he learns Janice is coming. Chandler and Joey fight because Chandler realizes Joey doesn't like Janice. Chandler tells Janice. Chandler asks everyone in Central Perk what they think of Janice, but doesn't get an answer because Monica interrupts. Ross talks to him about sharing and they decide to tell each other things. Chandler tells Ross that when he's with a girl he pictures all these women, but inevitably pictures his mom. He can't stop having sex, but he also can't stop visualizing his mom. Ross banishes him from the couch and says they can know longer share things. He's pleased when Joey and Janice spend time together, even though Joey still doesn't like her.

Joey: doesn't like Janice. He's really, really irritated by her and can't wait for Chandler to break up with her. He's horrified when Janice is there in the morning and has made pancakes; he refuses to eat any. When Chandler says he isn't breaking up with Janice, Joey goes to Monica and Rachel's and asks for advice. Everyone thinks they should accept it because Chandler's serious about her. Joey's excited about going to the hockey game until he learns Janice will be there. He and Chandler discuss Joey's feelings for Janice and Chandler's upset about it. Janice comes by when Joey is home alone and tells him that Chandler told her how Joey felt. She's decided they have to spend the whole day together to get to know one another (JOEY AND JANICE'S DAY OF FUN). Joey goes out with her and he acts like he had a good time when he and Janice come back to his apartment. Joey tells Chandler he still doesn't like her, but Chandler's glad he at least tried.

Monica: mopes after her breakup with Richard. She hasn't slept in days and gets really excited when she finds a ball of Richard's hair caught in the sink drain. She thinks about keeping it. Everyone tries to help her, but she's too sad. Ross finds Monica outside of a Chinese food restaurant and brings her into Central Perk. They learn she hasn't been going to work. She attempts meditation with Phoebe, but to no avail. Monica ends up crying outside Central Perk with a huge box in her arms. She went to the post office and had received some Civil War videos she'd ordered for Richard. She watches the videos and smokes one of his cigars she found on the balcony. Her dad comes by to check on her because he saw Richard. Mr. Geller tells her that Richard isn't doing too good and that makes Monica feel better. She falls asleep as her dad tells her a boring story.

Phoebe: talks to Rachel and Ross about the most romantic song. Her favorite is the one where Elton John sings "hold me closer young Tony Danza." Rachel tells Phoebe about Ross's Princess Leia thing and Phoebe informs her that that's a common fantasy for guys their age. Phoebe puts some buns on her head like Princess Leia's hair when Ross comes in. Phoebe helps Monica meditate to forget Richard, but it doesn't work.

• I have, like, major love for this episode.
  

• At the very beginning, the gang walks into Central Perk and the couch and chairs are occupied. They leave.

There's something wrong with this. And not just because people had the audacity to take their seats. What's up with Monica? She's supposed to be agonizing.

• When I hear "Tiny Dancer" on the radio, I sing it the way Phoebe does.
  

• Another alternate title for this episode: Attack of the Killer Ties:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

• Oh, Phoebe, I adore you.

• I'll say it once more "JOEY AND JANICE'S DAY OF FUN!!" I like yelling that at random quiet moments.
  

• I feel bad for Monica. I think it was the right thing for her to break up with Richard, but it's still sad to see her caressing drain hair (ewww).
  

• This is, really, one of the best (and most frightening) things I've seen in all my life.

• Foreshadowing alert: When Ross and Chandler share they talk about the hot girl from the copy place.
  

• I'm always just a little shocked about what Chandler shares. He just puts his Oedipal issues all right out on the table. Then again, I guess he doesn't realize it's not a common thing, but still.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that." -Chandler, when Joey thinks he's made pancakes.

"Ooh. Oh. It looks like--like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal." -Phoebe, after Monica drops Richard's drain hair in Ross's cereal.

"I think I have an old band uniform from high school."
"You remember not having sex in high school, right?" -Ross and Rachel, about uniforms.

"Yeah, that's the moment when--when, y'know, she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, y'know." -Phoebe, on Princess Leia in the gold bikini

"I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! Don't worry, those are the right letters." -Chandler, talking to Joey about his feelings for Janice.

"Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her." -Joey, on Janice.

"Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!" -Chandler, to Joey after their fight; Joey'd been watching Wheel of Fortune.

"Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?"
"Uh, honey, yeah, that was with Carol." -Ross and Rachel, discussing what she shares with the girls.

"Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me."
"Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room." - Joey and Janice, before the DAY OF FUN.

"Look it's Weepie! The mime who cares too much." -Chandler, upon seeing Monica crying outside Central Perk.

"Girth."
"Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why why, why would they do this?" -Ross and Chandler, sharing.

"We're not gonna talk about girth are we?"
"Noo." -Chandler and Ross, still sharing.

"So it's kinda like, you're, y'know. Y'know... You don't know!!" -Chandler, sharing about his mom.

"I said 'share' not 'scare.' Go sit over there!" -Ross, after Chandler's mom thing.

"Really?"
"Oh yeah, I always picture your mom when I'm having sex." -Chandler and Joey, still the mom thing.

"I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life." -Ross, picturing Mrs. Geller in the gold bikini.