Phoebe: dates a jock named Robert. Robert teaches Phoebe all kinds of different sports. Being athletic, Robert enjoys wearing loose fitting athletic shorts. He meets Phoebe at Central Perk one afternoon and Chandler notices you can see up Robert's shorts. He points it out to Ross. At first, Ross doesn't believe Chandler, but then gets a good look for himself. Another day at Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler see up Robert's shorts. Phoebe finally realizes something's going on. The guys tells her about Robert's problem. Phoebe doesn't know what to do about it and is horrified. She tries buying Robert some stretchy pants, but Robert doesn't want them because they're too tight. Rachel eventually sees up Robert's shorts, too. Phoebe doesn't know what to do. None of the guys will tell Robert about his problem and Phoebe doesn't feel right doing it herself. She decides it might be best to break up with him. She starts having 'the talk' with Robert and he gets upset. Women are always breaking up with him and he doesn't understand why. Gunther comes by the table and ends up being the one to tell Robert he's coming out of his shorts.
Rachel and Joey: Rachel comes home from work late one night. She needs ice, but she and Monica are out. She goes over to Joey and Chandler's. She and Joey end up talking about their days. While she's rummaging around for ice, Rachel finds a copy of The Shining in the freezer. She asks Joey about it and he says that he puts the book in the freezer when it gets too scary. The Shining is his favorite book; he reads it all the time. Rachel says she did that with Little Women, but it's different because it's a classic. They decide to switch books. Joey talks to the guys at Central Perk about how great Little Women is. He thinks Jo is a boy and Laurie is a girl. When Ross and Chandler try to explain Joey thinks they're both girls, but eventually he figures it out. He and Rachel talk about the books at Central Perk. Joey accidentally ends up giving away the ending, so Rachel tells him what happens in Little Women. They go back and forth for a bit, but Rachel tells Joey that Beth dies. Joey gets really upset, so Ross and Chandler tell him it isn't true. They make Rachel go along with it because this is the only other book Joey's ever loved. Joey comes in to Monica and Rachel's upset. Beth is really sick and he thinks she's going to die. Rachel puts the book in the freezer for him.
Chandler: has no idea what to do about Robert. He's the first one to see that Robert hangs out of his shorts. He tells Ross. Chandler tries to give Phoebe advice, but he doesn't want to be the one that tells Robert about the problem.
Ross: is upset because Rachel has to work late a lot. He and Chandler try to help Phoebe with Robert, but neither of them know what to do.
- My internet's being funky, so no pictures today. Sadness. Hopefully things'll be back to normal in the morning.
- There are several episodes that I love parts of, but there are fewer episodes that are completely amazing in every way. This is one of those completely amazing ones. I want to have babies with it.
- Joey putting The Shining in the freezer is just epic. Epic, I say. Also, maybe a little ironic since they main character of The Shining *Spoiler Alert* freezes to death at the end.
- I've read and seen The Shining and I never thought it was that scary. A little creepy, maybe, but not hide the book in the freezer frightening. I thought maybe Stephen King stuff just doesn't have that effect on me, but then I remembered I tried to read It once. I got through the prologue and had nightmares for a week. I may have even put it in the freezer.
- Little Women was my favorite, favorite book when I was a kid. I read it all the time. I did never understand why Laurie wanted to be called Laurie. My eight year old brain couldn't get over that being a girl's name, even though my dad, brother, and grandfather's middle name is Loren. I wanted to go by Jo, which makes me a huge hypocrite.
- Robert coming out of his pants offers me endless amounts of joy. Yeah, that sounds kinda bad, but really, it's hilarious. Especially Gunther's "this is a family place" response. My friends and I used to say that all the time.
- More Monica and Richard. I think Richard waiting for Monica with roses all over the room is the most romantic thing. My hand may've went over my heart and an "awww," may have escaped me. Just sayin.'
- Tom Selleck doesn't have a mustache in this episode! I don't know what to do with myself.
- It's so predictable that Joey'll have to put the book in the freezer when Beth dies, but I still love it. Not that Beth dies. That he has to put it in the freezer.
Oh. My. God
"Wow! Your lip went bald." -Monica, to Richard at the video store.
"Or maybe it's just because God knew I'd be running into you and saw an opportunity." -Monica, explaining why she had panties stuck to her leg.
"Look, just friends. I won't grope you, I promise." -Richard, asking Monica out for a burger.
"Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she's celebrating by going on a date with him." -Chandler, discussing Monica's friendship with Richard.
"Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know, you'll probably be hungry after the sex." -Joey, when Monica tells them she's just helping Richard make lasagna.
"He still doesn't want children and I still do, so that's why we're just gonna be friends."
"Naked friends." -Monica and Ross, about Richard.
"But, uh, you're safer from it if it's in the freezer?" -Rachel, finding The Shining in the freezer.
"How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?" -Joey, wondering about the little women.
"Right, right. Sometimes you guys just burst into flames." -Chandler, when Robert says he's from California.
"Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it."
"Like an eclipse." -Ross and Chandler, after they see Robert's coming out of his shorts.
"Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them." -Richard, about how he can touch eyeballs, but think squishing tomatoes is gross.
"But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh, you mean it's like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining." -Joey, being confused about the gender's of Jo and Laurie.
"Calm down. There's no reason to get testy." -Ross, to Phoebe who's upset the guys are laughing at Robert.
"So, um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?"
"Just your dad. Although, that's actually racquetball." -Monica and Richard, using racquetball as a euphemism for sex.
"Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you, I would wear them every day, every day!" -Chandler, when Phoebe gives Robert the stretchy pants.
"Oh, all blank, and no blank, make's blank a blank blank." -Joey, talking about The Shining in code.
"I can't believe she cracked your code!" -Chandler, to Joey after he gives away the ending of the book.
"Joey's asking if you've just ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson?" -Ross, when Rachel tells Joey that Beth dies.
"No, every time I see him it's like 'is it on the loose?' 'is it watching me?'" -Phoebe, wanting Chandler and Ross to talk to Robert.
"Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house." -Gunther, to Robert.
"Do you want to put the book in the freezer?" -Rachel, to Joey as Beth's dying.