TOW: Barry and Mindy's Wedding

Rachel and Ross: Rachel is Mindy's maid-of-honor. She tries on the dress and it's horrible. Big and ugly and pink. She's worried about looking awful, but everyone tells her she looks good. There's also a pink, wide brimmed, straw hat. She and Ross are at the wedding, it's about to start. Rachel went to the bathroom and starts freaking out a little because she sees the window she crawled out of at her wedding. She thinks she shouldn't be there, but Ross comforts her and she feels better. Ross goes into church and Rachel prepares to walk in with the other bride's maids. The back of her dress is tucked in her underwear. Rachel is humiliated. Ross didn't tell her about her dress, Barry's uncle does. She tells Ross this is her most embarrassing moment, even worse than when she had to sing "Copacabana" in front of the whole school and ran out after the first two lines. Guests keep coming up to Rachel saying "they're glad to see her back on her feet." Barry tells Rachel his parents told people that Rachel ran out of their wedding because she was insane because she had syphilis. Barry's best-man (Peter Spears) makes a speech where he makes fun of Rachel. Ross makes his own speech defending Rachel. Instead of making things better, Ross humiliates her more. Rachel starts to leave and Barry makes a snide remark about taking bets on when she'd walk out. Rachel makes a speech and sings "Copacabana." Ross feels bad for not kissing Joey to help get a role. He storms into Chandler and Joey's and kisses Joey.

Chandler and Phoebe: Chandler joins the group in Monica and Rachel's and they all notice he's wearing the same clothes as he did the day before. Chandler says he was up all night chatting to a woman on the internet. He's really in to his internet woman. She calls him on his sarcastic, defensive thing and Chandler stops doing it for awhile. The gang's a little creeped out. Phoebe hangs out with Chandler while he's having an internet date. She starts talking about how the woman might be old, or ugly, or even a man. She and Chandler think of ways to find out the truth without coming out and asking. The internet woman turns out to be married. Chandler's really upset and stops talking to her. Phoebe wants Chandler to not give up and tries to talk him into it. The internet woman asks if she and Chandler can meet. Phoebe convinces Chandler to meet her, even though she's married. Chandler sets up a date in Central Perk, the whole gang is there. He anxiously waits for his mystery lady to walk in. She does. It's Janice. He kisses her. The group is stunned. Phoebe kisses Joey as practice for an audition.

Monica: becomes curious about her future with Richard. Phoebe teases her about Richard and Monica acts like she doesn't need to know if Richard sees himself with her in the future. She comes clean, saying the real reason is that she's terrified to ask Richard about the future. She and Richard babysit Ben and Monica asks about the future. Richard's thought about it and sees them moving to France. Monica likes that idea, but likes the idea of having babies more. Richard doesn't want anymore children. They decide they don't need to make any decisions right away, but Monica's upset about the baby thing. They go to Barry and Mindy's wedding with Ross and Rachel. They talk about the future some more with Monica trying to convince herself she doesn't need to have kids. She realizes that she does really, really want children. She and Richard dance and Richard says he'll have kids with her if he has to for them to stay together. Monica breaks up with him because she doesn't want having children with her to be a burden to Richard.

Joey: has an audition that goes really well. He even meets the director, Warren Beatty. The only problem is, for the audition Joey had to kiss a guy. Joey doesn't mind having to kiss the guy, but Beatty tells him he's a bad kisser. Joey freaks out. He wants one of the girls to kiss him. Phoebe volunteers and says he's an excellent kisser. Monica points out that maybe he didn't kiss well because he was nervous about kissing a guy. Joey tries to get Chandler or Ross to kiss him, but they won't. The rest of the episode he tries to sneak-kiss Chandler, Ross, and Richard. Finally, Ross feels really guilty and kisses Joey, but it's too late. Joey's already had the audition and not gotten the part.

• This dress is almost a physical assault to the eyes.

This looks like a small town theater troupe's version of a Glenda the Good Witch gown.

To add to the horror:

There's a hat. YIKES. What the hell is that silver thing in the middle?

• I really like that Joey isn't particularly upset about having to kiss a guy. I know it's all to get a good role, but it's still cool that he takes it so nonchalantly. The focus isn't on who he's kissing, but his ability to kiss convincingly.
  

• I can't blame Richard for not wanting to have more kids. He's already in his fifties and done the kid thing, but it's definitely a trick situation. I, for one, would rather move to France. Just sayin'.

• Oh, Rachel.
  

To add insult to injury, I'm pretty sure her underwear are orange.

• Oooh, Mindy Sterling (Frau, from Austen Powers) is Barry and Mindy's wedding planner.
  

• Barry is a douche and I hate him. I'd be crazy mad if someone told a whole bunch of people I had syphilis. SYPHILIS.
  

• I miss Jennifer Grey as Mindy. Mindy is played by some person named Jana Marie Hupp.

This wedding is apparently the place fashion sense goes to die.

• Despite understanding Richard not wanting kids, it's still really sad. He and Monica are so good together.

I may've gotten a wee bit misty eyed. Just a wee bit, though.

• It makes sense that Chandler's internet lover is Janice. Part of me is waaay into it, but then...I always sorta want it to be someone else.
  

• Rachel singing.
  

Yeah...this is gonna be stuck in my head all day.

• This is the second season finale. As an episode it's really great, but it's not really...finale-ish. Y'know, usually there's, like, a cliff hanger of some sort, but there really isn't anything this episode. It's still a good episode, though.
  

Oh. My. God.

"See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy."
"Cause he was just so darn cute?" -Joey and Chandler, discussing Joey's audition.

"Over my dead body!"
"And I'll be using his dead body as a shield." -Ross and Chandler, when Joey wants to kiss them.

"I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when you're nauseous." -Rachel, on her dress.

"All right, stop it, you're freaking me out."
"Oh yeah, I don't like you this way." -Phoebe and Richard, when Chandler's not making jokes.

"Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel a chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum." -Chandler, about Monica and Richard getting married.

"Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?"
"Like a hound?"
"Not a basset, a bassinet." -Monica and Richard, on their future.

"You really need the bassinet?"
"Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog." -Richard and Monica, about the babies.

"I'm sorry we--we don't have your sheep." -Chandler, upon seeing Rachel in her full bride's maid get-up.

"See, she likes art, and I like funny words." -Chandler, telling Phoebe about the Guggenheim's website.

"It means we're holding hands."
"Are you the cutest?"
"I'm afraid I might just be." -Chandler and Phoebe, while Chandler's on his cyberdate.

"How do you not fall down more?" -Chandler, to Joey after he suggests a way to find out if Chandler's internet friend is a man or woman.

"Y'know what Bar, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least one of your weddings." -Rachel, making her speech.

"So what now?"
"I guess we just keep dancing." -Monica and Richard, after they break up.

"Yeah, cause life's just that kind." -Ross, when a beautiful woman comes into Central Perk and Chandler thinks it's his internet lady.