Monica: isn't horrified by the Mattress King's commercial. Instead, she's excited about how cheap the prices are and wants to get a mattress. She goes to the store with Phoebe, who thinks that buying a mattress from Janice's ex is a betrayal of Chandler. Monica finds a mattress and buys it. She isn't at home when the bed is delivered, but when she walks into her bedroom she's horrified to see it's the race car bed. Monica wants to send it back, but Phoebe says the store won't take it back because it was signed for. When Chandler comes in, Monica acts like it's always been her bed. Monica and Joey go to the Mattress King to get them to take the bed back. Monica demands to speak to the King and storms back to his office.
Phoebe: goes with Monica to the Mattress King the first time. She's against Monica getting a bed from Janice's ex and tries to talk her out of it. She changes her tune when she sits on the mattress Monica picks out. Phoebe's alone at Monica and Rachel's when Joey comes in talking about his All My Children audition. Phoebe suggests they box each other and she ends up giving him a nose bleed. The mattress is delivered during their little boxing match and Phoebe signs for it. She's trying to help Joey with his nose when the delivery guys bring the bed in. She doesn't notice it's the race car bed. When Phoebe realizes what happened she freaks out, worrying about what Monica'll do when she sees the race car bed. When Monica gets home Phoebe tells her that the store won't take the bed back because it was signed for.
Rachel and Ross: are supposed to have dinner with Dr. Green. Ross doesn't want to go because Dr. Green doesn't like him. Rachel promises sex if Ross will just go to dinner with her and her Dad. Ross agrees to go. The dinner doesn't go well. Dr. Green complains about their table, doesn't act happy to see Ross, thinks Ross is a librarian, and is disgusted when Ross can't eat lobster because he's allergic. It only gets worse when Ross notices how much Dr. Green tipped. Dr. Green only tipped, like, 4% and Ross is horrified. He asks why Rachel doesn't talk to her dad about it, and Rachel says that she has but it doesn't change anything. As the get up, Ross drops a twenty on the table. Dr. Green notices the twenty and is furious. He makes Ross pay for the whole $200 dinner. Rachel's really upset and she and Ross argue about it. She just wants Ross and her dad to get along. She decides they need to have her dad over for brunch and make things right between him and Ross. Ross agrees, but doesn't think the brunch will make much of a difference. At first, Ross is right. Dr. Green is cold and obviously still upset about the tip incident. Things change when Ross rubs his neck, which has been hurting. Rachel tells him he needs to go to her chiropractor and Ross makes fun of the chiropractor. He and Dr. Green agree about the ridiculousness of that profession. They make fun of Rachel for thinking that one of her legs is longer than the other. Then they ridicule Rachel for not having renter's insurance.
Joey: gets a job at the learning extension teaching a class about acting for soap opera's. He's really excited. He teaches his first class and it goes okay. He makes a big speech about having a rare blood disorder, but the class doesn't understand he was doing soap opera acting. He talks about Days of Our Lives and tells them the most important thing is reacting. Joey goes to Monica and Rachel's when Phoebe's there and tells her how great his first class was. He's also got an audition to play 'Nick the Boxer' on All My Children. Phoebe suggests they practice boxing, Joey agrees, and gets punched in the nose. Phoebe's helping him and neither of them notice the delivery guys bringing in the race car bed. At his next class, Joey talks about the tricks of the trade; telling the class how he'd make himself cry and showing them his 'evil' and 'bad news' looks. After the class, one of his students comes up to ask for help with an audition. He's going out for the part of Nick the Boxer. Joey watches the student read for the role. The student is really good and Joey gets his evil look. At Central Perk, he tells the group he told the student to play the role gay. Everyone is horrified, but Joey justifies it by saying he really wants the part. At his next class, Joey makes a big speech on what not to do to other actors. He's really emotional and admits what he told the student and that the student got the part because the people at All my Children liked the gay thing. The class applauds. He goes with Monica to the Mattress King to get them to take the race car bed back. He sees Janice kissing the King.
- This episode isn't particularly exciting, but I kinda love it. I think it's the whole idea of the race car bed that gets to me.
The face Chandler's making sorta reminds me of Bill Murray's character in Caddyshack.
- You know those horribly irritating low-budget local commercials? That's what the Mattress King thing is.
Y'know how you can see some guys and be immediately repulsed by them? That's how I feel about the Mattress King.
- I'm vaguely interested in what season it's supposed to be in Friends world. I'm assuming it's fall, but it's hard to tell. Sometimes Rachel wears long-sleeves and other times she wears sleeveless. And a winter coat.
In all fairness, that's a freaking awesome coat.
- Dr. Green = douche. I don't blame Ross for giving an extra tip. I wouldn't have done it, generally being terrified of confrontations, but still. How could you tip so little for a $200 meal? Cheap bastard.
- I think it's hilarious that Joey tells his student to play the Nick the Boxer role gay.
It's an awful, awful thing he does. But I'm still going to giggle every time I see it. Plus, Karma and all that--his nefariousness doesn't get him the role.
- I think Ross is a jerk when he bonds with Dr. Green over all the things Rachel does wrong. If I were Rachel, I'd be pretty pissed.
- Janice, how could you??
Ew, Janice. Just, ew.
- I think Maggie Wheeler has a cold. Her voice is extra thick and nasally this episode.
- Chandler calls the Mattress King a wank. I love when he calls people wanks!
- Gunther's in love with Rachel.
- No matter how much I dislike Dr. Green, it's friggin' awesome that he calls Ross 'wethead.'
"Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct?" -Monica, thinking about Ross's boring story.
"If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best." -Chandler, during Ross's story.
"Question. Was uh, 'Egg the Gellers!' the war cry of your neighborhood?" -Joey, when Ross and Monica discuss playing Happy Days.
"What a wank!" -Chandler, watching the Mattress King commercial.
"Oh shoot, tomorrow's not so good. I'm supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry." -Ross, learning he's supposed to go to dinner with Rachel and Dr. Green.
"I just want him to love you like do. All right, well not exactly like I do." -Rachel, about why she wants Ross to come to dinner.
"See, that's why I could never be an actor. Because I can't say 'gig'." -Chandler, when Joey talks about his teaching job.
"Hi. Y'know, in England this car would be on the other side of the store." -Phoebe, talking to a kid in the mattress store.
" Oh, it's the compulsively neat one by the window." -Phoebe, telling the delivery guys which room is Monica's.
"There never was a library. I mean, there are libraries, it's just that I uh, I never worked at one." -Ross, correcting Dr. Green about his job.
"Rust is boat cancer, Ross."
"Wow, I'm sorry. When I was a kid I lost a bike to that." -Dr. Green and Ross, during dinner.
"The carbon, it's messy. I mean, it gets on your fingers and causes the uh--the uh night blindness." -Ross, attempting to get Dr. Green not to go back for his receipt.
"Well, Mr. Big Shot is better than 'wethead'." -Ross, about his new nickname.
"Four percent, okay! I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food." -Ross, arguing with Rachel about the tip.
"I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn't make any difference, except that I could pick your father up and say 'Like me! Like me, tiny doctor!'" -Ross, about why he doesn't think brunch will help.
"Whoa-hoa, somebody missed the off ramp." -Chandler, seeing the race car bed.
"Okay, well, if this bed isn't new, how come there's still plastic on it?"
"Sometimes I have bad dreams." -Chandler and Monica, hiding that the bed is from the Mattress King.
"You told him to play the boxer gay!!" -Chandler, learning what Joey did.
"Nice hair. What'd ya do? Swim here?" -Dr. Green, greeting Ross at brunch.
"Well, what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?" -Dr. Green, making fun of Rachel.
"All right, I'll leave. My bed's so boring." -Chandler, getting caught playing on the race car bed.