TOW: Russ

Rachel: dates a guy named Russ. Russ looks and acts exactly like Ross, only Rachel doesn't see the resemblance. She believes she's moving on from Ross. She tells the gang that she doesn't really have feelings for Ross anymore. Phoebe tries to get Rachel to notice the Ross/Russ similarities, but Rachel is blind to them. Russ is in Central Perk waiting for Rachel to get off work. He's sitting with Chandler and Ross when he and Ross get in an argument. As Ross and Russ fight, Rachel realizes they're exactly alike. She breaks up with Russ.

Ross: doesn't like that Rachel's dating. He didn't realize they were seeing other people. He talks to Rachel about a woman at work he may start dating. Ross hates Russ, but, like Rachel, doesn't notice the similarities between himself and Russ. Ross, Russ, and Chandler all sit on the couch at Central Perk; they're doing a crossword. Ross and Russ argue about the crossword and Chandler leaves. They fight about their professions. Rachel overhears and is disgusted because Russ is just like Ross.

Monica: starts dating Fun Bobby (Vincent Ventresca) again. The gang is pleased they're back together, but they notice that they went through five bottles of wine when Fun Bobby was over. In Central Perk, Monica tells Bobby she thinks he might have a drinking problem and he agrees to stop drinking. No alcohol, though, makes Bobby boring. Monica doesn't feel like she can break up with him because she blames herself for him being boring. She starts drinking a lot to get through their dates. They're going away together for the weekend and Monica packs tons of mini-bottles of alcohol. Bobby comes by and breaks up with her because he thinks she has a drinking problem.

Joey: gets his first ever reviews in the newspaper. They're all bad. Joey thinks he should give up acting. This is until he gets a call from his agent, offering him a part in Days of our Lives. Joey goes to the audition and gets a callback. He visits his agent, Estelle (June Gable), and tells her he thinks the Casting Director was hitting on him. Estelle calls the Casting Director and learns that, yes, Joey would have to sleep with her to get the job playing a cab driver. He doesn't know what to do because he wants to get the job on the merit of his acting, not his sexual abilities. Joey goes to his callback and refuses the Casting Director's advances. That is until she offers him the bigger role of Dr. Drake Ramore.

Chandler and Phoebe: attempt to get Rachel and Ross to see that Russ is exactly like Ross. Chandler helps Joey decide what to do about his future. Chandler thinks that if sleeping with the Casting Director will help, maybe Joey should do it.

• Man, all this Ross/Russ crap is confusing. I keep having to check that I'm talking about the right one.

I see the resemblance to Bob Saget, but the chin and hair make me think of Jay Leno. Weird.

• What's with Ross dating bug people from work? Not, like, literally people who are bugs (thought that'd be interesting), but people who study them. First it was the Curator of Insects and now it's the Curator of Moths. He must be really sexy to the entomologist set.

• I'm a non-smoker

But I want one of these cigarette tree, things. Much in the same way that Rachel wanted the shell lamp and the girlie clock.

• Some fun clothing options:

Number one: A nifty skyline vest.

Number two: a moose sweater (ew).

And three: a leopard print mock turtleneck.

• Starting this episode, I thought Joey was trying out for a big role in Days of our Lives. I mean, usually it's starring roles that actors sleep with people for. But Joey's trying out for the role of a friggin' cab driver! That's ridiculous. I wouldn't sleep with someone for that.
  

• I sincerely hope that 'Vincent Ventresca' is a stage name. Otherwise, his parents must've hated him.

• Russ and Julie meet. Aw. (In the way that that's incredibly strange and a little gross).

• Okay, this barely has anything to do with this blog, but it's smile generating amazingness makes it totally worth posting. Think of it as a Friday treat.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Yeah, Yeah, just a tough day at work. A Stegosaurus fell over and trapped a kid." -Ross, telling about his day.

"I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug." -Chandler, on how much he had to drink.

"Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask." -Fun Bobby, wanting to add alcohol to everyone's coffee.

" Hey, yeah...we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia!" -Chandler, responding to Phoebe's idea of a soap opera themed party.

"There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village." -No Longer Fun Bobby.

"Bye...ridiculously dull Bobby." -Chandler.

"Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross." -Chandler, making introductions.

"You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare." -Chandler, about Ross and Russ.

"See? They're as different as night and...later that night." -Monica, on Ross and Russ.

"Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or...uh, Italy called and said it was hungry." -Chandler, walking in on Joey making lots of sauce.

"Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas." -Chandler, giving Joey advice.

"And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues." -Chandler, doing the crossword with Ross and Russ.

"You could not be more wrong. You could try... but you would not be successful." -Russ, fighting with Ross.

"Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in." -Ross, not being jealous that Russ is a periodontist.

"I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant." -Chandler, taking a mini-bottle from Monica.