TOW: Ross Finds Out

Rachel: goes on a date to try and forget about Ross. She's incredibly positive about the date until she learns that Ross and Julie are getting a cat. Monica set her up with a recently divorced man, Michael (Arye Gross). The date goes really badly. All Rachel can talk about is Ross, Julie, and the cat. She also gets drunk. Michael tells Rachel all she needs is closure; something to help her get over Ross. Rachel borrows a guy's cell phone to call Ross. She leaves a message talking about how she now has closure. Rachel doesn't remember much the next morning and when Ross comes in to the apartment she thinks she had a dream about him or maybe talked to him on the phone.

Ross: decides to get a cat with Julie. He's very excited and asks to have cat toys from Monica. He doesn't think anything weird is happening until he goes to Monica and Rachel's for the cat toys. Rachel is hungover and jumps on him when he checks his messages. Rachel wasn't able to stop him from hearing her drunk message about closure. He can't stay to talk to Rachel about the revelation of their mutual feelings; Julie is waiting outside with a cab, so they can get their cat. At the humane shelter, Ross can't decide which cat to get. Julie narrows it down to two cats, but Ross can't choose. He goes to Central Perk while Rachel is closing up.

They get into an argument. Ross is angry that she told him she had feelings for him when he's with Julie. They fight about why neither said anything before. Ross storms out and Rachel locks the doors behind him. She cries and Ross watches form the door. Rachel unlocks the door and they kiss. Um, awww.

Chandler and Monica: Chandler had a really bad time at a party and feels unattractive. Phoebe points out that he's gained a little weight. Monica decides to help him workout as an unemployment project. Monica is really excited about her new hobby; Chandler is less enthused. He keeps up with the exercise program pretty well for a few days, but gets fed up with Monica's never ending enthusiasm. She tries to get him to run early on a Sunday morning, but he refuses. Finally, Chandler tells her he's not working out anymore. Monica taunts him as motivation. Chandler tells Monica her energy is admirable because she's unemployed, a disappointment to her parents, and boyfriendless. Chandler says he'd have trouble getting out of bed if he was in her position. He depresses Monica so much she takes a nap on Chandler and Joey's couch.

Phoebe and Joey: Phoebe is dating a man named Scott. They've been on several dates, but Scott won't have sex with her. Joey asks if maybe Scott is gay, but Phoebe assures him that's not the case. After another date with Scott, Phoebe tells Joey she's decided she isn't sexy enough. Joey assures her that's not true. Joey tells Phoebe to just talk to Scott. Phoebe tells Joey she finally had sex with Scott. She took Joey's advice and talked to Scott about the no sex. Scott wanted to wait because he know how sex could make relationships serious, especially for women. Phoebe assures him they can have sex without it being a big thing. Joey is envious of Scott because he got Phoebe to beg for sex and then promise no-strings-attached sex.

• This may be my very favorite episode. It's hard to say definitively that it is, indeed, my most favorite, but it's definitely top five. Three words: Ross and Rachel.

• Phoebe's Scott thing is a little silly. It's entertaining, but mostly filler for the big story, which is Ross and Rachel.
  

• Chandler's supposed to have gained, I don't know, five--maybe ten--pounds.
  

It's a good thing they had the bulky, ugly sweater lying around. It still doesn't look like he's gained any weight, though.

• I just really like this moment

Chandler's so sore he can barely lift his coffee cup. Also of note, the "reserved" placard. Can you really do that in a tiny coffee shop? I'm thinking not so much.

• Two best. moments. ever. How could they not be? I mean it's Ross and Rachel.
  

Uh, it doesn't really need an explanation. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is better than "You're uh, you're, you're over me? When--When were you... under me?"



Moral issue: is Ross justified at being angry Rachel told him? If you were Ross, would you want to know? I'm thinking yes, but if it wasn't Ross and Rachel, I'm not sure that'd still be my answer....Thoughts?

Oh.My.God.

"Alright, ok, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home." -Chandler, agreeing to workout with Monica.

"Oh, can't make...hands...meet..." -Phoebe, hugging Chandler.

"She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore." -Chandler, discussing Monica's exercise regimen.

"Maybe he, uhh...drives his car on the others die of the road, if y'know what I mean."
"No, whad'ya mean? He's not British." -Joey and Phoebe, talking about Scott.

"No, I felt it on my hip. I could tell." -Phoebe, on why Scott isn't gay.

"Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it." -Chandler, when Monica suggests playing racquetball.

"He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing." -Rachel, watching Ross and Julie outside Central Perk.

"When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, 'excellent butt, great rack'." -Joey, assuring Phoebe of her sexiness.

"And, you know, ya see there, I'm thinking of names, so obviously, I am over you. I am over you. And that, my friend, is what they call closure." -Rachel's message for Ross.

"How come you're watching a rabbi play electric guitar?" -Phoebe, at Joey's. This is also one of those meaningful questions of life, I think.

"This man is my God." -Joey, about Scott's success with Phoebe.

"Do you have any cats that are really old or incredibly sick?" -Ross, at the humane shelter after finding out about Rachel.

"Both? BOTH!? I can't have two cats! Joey's the kinda guy who could have two cats." -Ross, after Julie suggests getting both cats.