TOW: the Ick Factor

Monica: dates a guy they call "Young Ethan." Ethan (Stan Kirsch) is a senior in college, but he thinks that Monica is only 22. They really like each other and Monica spends a long time cleaning and cooking before he comes over. She's so frantic that she can't remember what she made for dinner. That night she invites Ethan to stay over. Ethan tells her he's a virgin. They have sex. Monica tells Ethan that she's really 26. Ethan tells Monica he's only a senior in high school. Monica freaks out and tells him they can't see each other anymore. Ethan says he's falling in love with her, but it doesn't change Monica's mind. Ross, Joey, and Chandler make fun of her; they find out because Ethan's been calling and coming over. Ethan comes into Central Perk to talk to Monica. He says they're great together and should try again. Monica says she really likes him and if things were different she could really love him.

Chandler: has Phoebe come work as his secretary. He finds out that the people at work don't really like him and make fun of him, especially the way he talks. He really worries about it. He goes to an office birthday party he wasn't invited to, trying to be friends with everyone. Chandler has a really good time, but his employees still don't like him. Phoebe tells him to get over it because they like him as a boss, they just aren't his friends. He comes up on some people making fun of him at the water fountain and doesn't mind, even playing along a little, but tells Phoebe he's going to give them extra work.

Phoebe: teaches a 'massage yourself at home' seminar, which causes her to lose a lot of her massage clients. She's looking for work when she learns that Chandler needs a temporary secretary. She offers to fill in. On the first day, she has a hard time focusing. Phoebe tells Chandler that none of his employees like him. She gets ready to go to an office birthday party, which Chandler didn't know about. She tells him that he should go to the party and let everyone see what a great guy he is. At work, after the party, Phoebe tells Chandler they still don't like him, but they think he's a good boss.

Rachel: keeps having dirty dreams about the guys. In her first dream, she has sex with Chandler on the coffee table at Central Perk. The second dream she has a threesome with Chandler and Joey. She and Ross watch tv together one night and she falls asleep. She moans Ross's name.

Ross: is jealous when he learns that Rachel had a sex dream about Chandler. It gets even worse when he hears about the Joey and Chandler dream. Ross gets a pager so that Carol can let him know when she goes into labor. He keeps getting beeped because his number, 555-Jimbo, is close to 555-jumbo, a number for a male prostitute. He and Carol decide that when she's in labor she'll type in 9-1-1, so he knows it's the real thing and not, y'know, a solicitation. When Rachel falls asleep, he covers her up with an afghan before hearing her moan his name. He's elated and does a sort of celebratory jig, that ends with him falling on her and waking her up. They have a moment that's interrupted by Ross's pager. Carol's gone into labor.

Joey: doesn't have much to do this episode.

• Monica really can't pull of 22. She just can't. It's not that she doesn't look young enough, as far as, like, wrinkles and stuff go, it's her clothes. They don't look like what I'd expect a 22 year old to wear. It's like Joey trying to play 19. It's not going to happen.
  

And I'm really thinking that a 22 year old wouldn't wear this


On a date.

• The kid who plays Ethan always reminds me of this guy:

Shawn Hatosy, from cinematic gems such as 'The Faculty.' Which I really wanna watch now.

• Here's a burning question

What was Monica doing that ended up with her meeting and dating a high school kid?

• After several false alarms (and I'm imaging some severe disappointment for those trying to get a hold of Andre at 555-Jumbo), Ross gets the 9-1-1 page from Carol. He proceeds to fall over the back of the couch. Nice.

• Throughout this blog there have been what I like to call, best. moments. evarrr. In this very episode we have one of the moments that the best moments ever hope to be. Seriously, it's that good.
  

I'm going to walk around all day going "My scone! My scone!" I wish I were kidding.


Oh. My. God.

"I love it when we share." -Ross, learning about Rachel's dirty dream about Chandler.

"I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and it was someone else's subconscious." -Chandler, defending himself to Ross.

"Is it like for dinosaur emergencies? 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct!'" -Monica, making fun of Ross's pager.

"I don't perform those kinds of services."
"Services? Oh, services." -Ross and Joey, as Ross returns a page.

"No, believe me. You don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment." -Ross, to one of Andre's clients.

"My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states!" -Monica, after learning that Ethan is 17.

"Oh God, oh God, I'm like one of those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad." -Monica, on being a cougar.

"There were times when it wasn't even me." -Rachel, telling Chandler and Joey about her threesome dream.

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym?" -Chandler, teasing Monica about Ethan.

"Ethan, It's, um, it's icky." -Monica, on why she and Ethan can't see each other anymore.