TOW: the Fake Monica

Monica: goes out to lunch with her mom. Monica gives the waiter her credit card, but it's declined. Someone stole Monica's credit card number. Monica looks at her statement and see's all the fun things the fake Monica's been doing, including taking classes at the New School. Monica calls the school to find out what classes she's taking so she can find who stole her credit card number. The class the woman is taking is a tap class. Monica goes and ends up paired with the fake Monica (Claudia Shear). Monica tells fake Monica her name is Monana. Monica and the girls take fake Monica to lunch and really like her. Monica starts spending a lot of time with fake Monica, getting kicked out of hotels and going to open casting calls for 'Cats.' Monica's also been skipping out on work. Monica and fake Monica crash an Embassy party and Monica comes home drunk. She gets a call from the credit card company, letting her know that the person who was using her credit card was arrested. Monica goes to see fake Monica in jail. The fake Monica tells her that she needs to go back to living her life.

Ross: has more problems with Marcel. Now the monkey is uncontrollably humping things. Ross takes Marcel to the vet and learns that the humping is because Marcel's reached sexual maturity and will become aggressive and violent. Ross tells Chandler and Joey he has to give Marcel up. Ross needs to get Marcel placed in a zoo, which becomes like getting a kid in to college. The ideal zoo is San Diego, but Ross doesn't think they'll get in there. Marcel gets rejected from the Scranton Zoo, and Ross is upset because that was their safety zoo. Ross interviews a man, Dr. Baldhara (Harry Shearer), who wants Marcel. Ross thinks Baldhara has a zoo, but he really fights exotic animals. Chandler and Joey run into Central Perk during the interview, telling Ross Marcel got in to San Diego. Ross has to say good-bye to Marcel at the airport.

Rachel and Phoebe: go to tap class with Monica to find the fake Monica. Rachel can tap dance really well. They pair up, leaving Monica by herself to get paired with the fake Monica. They all take fake Monica to lunch. Rachel starts getting really upset with Monica, especially when she comes home drunk in the afternoon and stops going to work. Phoebe gives Marcel a going away poem and Rachel gives him her Curious George doll.

Chandler and Joey: help Ross cope with having to give up Marcel. Joey's looking for a stage name and asks Chandler to help. Chandler supplies things like, "Joseph Stalin," which Joey actually tries to go by. At the end of the episode, Joey goes to an audition as Holden McGroin.

• If Monica's spending seventy bucks on a mop it's probably good that she gets out more. Just sayin.'
  

• I can't believe that Joey still listens to Chandler. Joseph Stalin? Seriously?? I hope his agent told him who Stalin was before he went on any auditions. Judging by the 'Holden McGroin' from the audition at the end, that's not likely.
  

• Monica and Phoebe are both dressed like they really think they're only going to be observing the dance class, but Rachel's already wearing clothes to workout in.
  

To join in with the class they have to find tap shoes in a communal extra shoe bucket. Ew.

• In TOW: the Monkey gets Away, it's clearly stated (multiple times, since it's the whole point of that episode) that Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. That being the case, how is Ross able to take him to the vet? A responsible veterinarian would most likely report the illegal animal and Ross. My hatred toward monkeys has nothing to do with how I feel about this. Not a thing. Swear.
  

• Joey and Chandler are really upset about Ross having to give Marcel up. I didn't realize they were that close to Marcel.
  

I know they're more upset for Ross, but everyone's just. so. sad.

• I pretty much agree with...well, everyone else about the fake Monica thing. She obviously didn't have it so great if she had to steal Monica's identity. Speaking of which, I really wanna know fake Monica's real name and, like, why she stole the credit card number in the first place. It's not really the point of the episode, I just hate not knowing things.
  

• I want to be delighted by drunk Monica.

But, really, I just find it irritating.

• Despite my general disgust, it's quite heartbreaking when the flight attendant takes Marcel away.
  

• The moral of this episode: monkey humping things=hilarious.
  

Oh. My. God.

" I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind." -Ross, talking with Monica about her credit card statement.

"Well, that's what we said about Joey..." -Chandler, about Marcel's humping phase.

"Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious." -Rachel, after Marcel got frisky with her stuffed animal.

"Oh yes! 'Bye Bye Birdie' starring Joseph Stalin! Joseph Stalin is 'The Fiddler on the Roof'!" -Chandler, trying out the stage name he suggests for Joey.

"You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class." -the Teacher, when Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe arrive.

"Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare." -Monica, thinking she has to be paired with the dance teacher.

"She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she?" -Chandler, responding to Ross saying he went to the vet.

"Ah, your own brand of vigilante justice." -Chandler, learning that the girls took the fake Monica to lunch.

"What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer." -Ross, again about the lunch.

"...Take off their hats!"
"Popes in a Volkswagen!" -Chandler and Phoebe, it's, like, joke trivia.

"See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him."
"I'd say the chair's taking the brunt." -Ross and Phoebe, after Marcel doesn't get in to Scranton and humps a chair.

"You know there already is a Joseph Stalin!" -Joey.

"I'm--I'm Monana!" -Monica, coming home drunk and arguing with Rachel.

"Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?" -Fake Monica, while Monica visits her in jail.

"Marcel, I'm hungry." -Joey, telling Marcel how he feels.

"Marcel, this is for you. It's,uh, just, y'know, something to do on the plane." -Rachel, giving Marcel her Curious George.