TOW: the Kips

Ross and Rachel: Ross still hasn't told Rachel what Emily's asking him to do to make their relationship work. He goes over to Monica and Rachel's to tell her, but Rachel's out shopping. He tells everyone that he told Emily to come to New York. They're shocked that he made the decision, and want to know how he's going to deal with not seeing Rachel anymore. Ross can't answer that question; he only wants to focus on making his marriage work. Plus, whenever he thinks about not speaking to Rachel ever again, he gets indigestion and has to swill Pepto-Bismol straight from the bottle. Monica wants to know how Ross plans to make sure he and Rachel are never in a room together. Ross has no ideas. Joey puts his fears to rest by saying that arrangement will never work. Rachel comes home, wondering why everyone is huddled together in the living room. Chandler says they're trying to figure out the best way to flip Monica's mattress. Rachel asks them to flip hers, too, so they go away to do that. Ross starts talking to Rachel about the deal with Emily, while Rachel's reading a letter from her mother. Ross gets to the part about what Emily wants him to do, when Rachel bursts into tears. Her mom wrote to tell Rachel her dog, Le Poo, died. The others come out from the mattress flipping to comfort her. Ross comforts her, too, temporarily diverted from his task. Ross and Rachel are alone in Central Perk when Ross decides to give breaking the news to her another try. He begins explaining about Emily coming to New York, but with a catch. He's almost about to tell Rachel he can't see her anymore, when Rachel's nose starts to bleed. Rachel covers the bleed with a Kleenex, leaning her head back. Ross says "I can't see you anymore," which Rachel thinks is a comment on how her head is tipped back. She decides she's going home, so she can jam Kleenex up her nose, and asks Ross to come with her to explain about the Emily situation. Ross gives up again. The next time they meet alone, Ross is able to tell her about Emily. Rachel thinks that Ross isn't going to agree to Emily's demands, before realizing that he already has. Ross tells her he has to do it for his marriage, but that they can still hang out until Emily arrives. Rachel's less than enthused. Ross talks to the gang in Central Perk about how it went with Rachel. He's drinking Alka-Seltzer. Anyway, he goes to the restroom and Rachel comes in. She tells the gang she doesn't want to think about the Ross thing anymore, but Joey informs her that Ross is in Central Perk. Rachel says she's turning into Kip. Kip was Chandler's old roommate, who dated Monica, but then couldn't be in the same room with her once they broke up. Kip eventually drifted away from the group. Phoebe tells Rachel it's not going to happen; that they handled the Kip situation really badly. Rachel isn't sure how they can make it work, since Monica is Ross's sister and Chandler his old college roommate. Rachel's especially upset because she always thought Phoebe'd be the group member to drift away. Rachel and Phoebe are in Central Perk; Phoebe's not speaking to Rachel. Rachel apologizes, then decides she and Phoebe should split off and form their own group. Ross interrupts them, wanting to talk to Rachel. He doesn't want her to feel out of the group. Actually, since he's the one that's causing all the changes, he offers to step-back. Rachel's not particularly comforted by this, because she wants to be able to see him. He apologizes, but it doesn't change anything.

Monica and Chandler: meet at Chandler's apartment at 3 in the morning. They head toward his bedroom, when Joey comes out of his. He's obviously surprised to see Monica in his apartment so early in the morning, but Chandler and Monica manage to convince him it's actually 9. After this interruption, Monica announces she's sick of sneaking around. Chandler agrees, and they decide to go away for the weekend for some privacy. The next morning at breakfast, Monica tells everyone that she's going to a culinary fair in New Jersey. Which is funny, because Chandler just told them he was going to a conference in Jersey! He and Monica get into a little thing about how come his conference couldn't be in Vermont or Connecticut, but no one seems to notice that this is weird. Monica and Chandler arrive at their hotel, which seems extremely nice. Monica's inspecting the room, while Chandler turns on the TV, and starts watching a high-speed car chase. Monica comes out of the bathroom, saying they have to change rooms, because she found a glass with lipstick on it. Chandler doesn't want to change rooms, but Monica tells him that the carpet smells, too. They're shown to a different room, where Chandler promptly turns on the TV, and starts watching the chase with the bellboy. Monica deems the room unacceptable, since they paid for an ocean-view, but this room is garden-view. The bellboy distractedly informs her that she found the last available ocean-view room unacceptable. She calls Chandler over to talk with him privately; he's mostly interested in the car chase. Monica thinks the hotel's trying to cheat them; He tells her to pick a room, cause all he really wants to do is watch the chase. They finally find a room that Monica likes, but the chase is already over. Monica's ready to start their romantic weekend, but Chandler just wants to watch TV. They get into a fight, and Chandler calls her 'mom.' Monica storms out. Chandler gets home, telling Joey about what an awful time he had. The only bright spot was that he saw Donald Trump on an elevator. Monica comes over, tells Joey that her trip wasn't any good, either, and asks Chandler to come out to the hall. They're both still furious with one another. Monica writes Chandler a check for her half of the room. Joey sticks his head out, seeing what's wrong. Monica tells him Chandler's been stealing money from her. Chandler comes home one day, to find Joey waiting for him. It seems that the hotel called to let Chandler know someone left an eye-lash curler in the room. Chandler says it's his, but Joey just assumed that Chandler'd picked up a girl. Finally, Chandler goes over to talk to Monica about what happened. He thinks that they're finished, but Monica explains they only had a fight; it wasn't too big of a deal. Chandler's never been in a relationship that lasted longer than the first fight. Monica assures him that they are, indeed, in a relationship. They kiss. Everyone but Ross is hanging out at Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe asks Monica about seeing Donald Trump in the elevator. Monica then asks Rachel to borrow her eye-lash curler, because Monica's lost hers. Everyone plays Mad Libs, but stops once Monica starts to make it hyper-competitive.

Joey: believes Chandler and Monica that he's awake at 9 am. He falls asleep again while he's brushing his teeth. He, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica go in to 'flip Monica's mattress,' while Ross and Rachel talk. Joey's planned for having to be trapped in the bedroom again by stashing a box of food and magazines under Monica's bed. When Phoebe says the thing about Monica seeing Donald Trump in the elevator at the hotel, he starts to put the pieces together. He's certain he's right when Monica asks to use Rachel's eye-lash curler. Joey starts making shocked noises, pointing at Chandler and Monica. Chandler drags him into Monica's bedroom before Joey can let the cat out of the bag. Monica and Chandler explain that they're together, but they're not ready to let the whole group know. They want Joey to promise not to tell, which he eventually does, albeit reluctantly.

Phoebe: is really hurt by Rachel saying she'd be the group member that would drift away. Rachel placates her by saying they should start a group of their own. Phoebe suggests recruiting Joey to be in their group. When Chandler, Monica, and Joey go into Monica's bedroom after Joey finds out about them, Phoebe thinks they're plotting to start their own breakaway group.

• The whole Chandler-and-Monica-dating-and-everyone-finding-out is one of my all time favorite story lines. I think it's just awesome the way that writer's structured it.

• I really have a hard time believing that Rachel and Phoebe miss something's going on between Chandler and Monica. Mostly because some of the things Chandler and Monica do are so obvious. Like Chandler's European kissing, and the whole 'why couldn't your conference be in Connecticut or Vermont' thing. It's just a totally strange thing for someone to be upset over.

Watch out, Chandler, Monica will eat you.

• Ross should realize he can't stop seeing Rachel. I mean, if thinking about never seeing her again makes him do this:

he's not going to be able to go through with it.

• It's incredibly telling that he doesn't get indigestion from thinking about never seeing Emily again. I like it.

• Why would you name your dog Le Poo??? This dog was totally a poodle.

• Even though the dead dog and nose bleed are funny (not the dead dog, so much) and good plot points, part of me thinks it'd be even better if Ross just told her straight out, no shenanigans.

• The high-speed chase always makes me think of O.J. Simpson

• I don't get the need to switch hotel rooms over and over. I mean, I would if there was obviously something wrong, like the lipstick glass, or if their was a highly and noticeably unpleasant odor, but I think I'm just too non-confrontational to deal with all the switching.

• Even if I don't understand about the room switching, I understand why she's pissed at Chandler. You don't go away for a romantic weekend and watch a car chase!

• I see why Chandler thinks he and Monica are over. I mean, neither of them are just a little bit mad, they're totally freaking pissed at one another. Plus, Chandler does call her 'mom.'

Scary.

• I don't think Rachel'd be a Kip, but I see why she's worried. Is it bad that I agree with her about Phoebe?

• I didn't realize Kip was supposed to have dated Monica. Wouldn't that have made her completely hesitant over crushing on Joey and his nice arms?

• It's sweet that Ross offers to step away from the group, because he's causing all the changes.
  

This seems like one of those situations where Ross would freak about losing his friends (like when he and Rachel first broke up), but it's nice that he doesn't.

• Joey figuring out about Chandler and Monica is just freaking classic. Definitely a best moment.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Well, that's because you always sleep till noon, silly! This is what nine looks like!" -Monica, to Joey, when he catches her with Chandler at 3 am.

"Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!"

"Okay, y'know you're not though." -Monica and Chandler, thinking up cover stories for their trip.

"I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference." -Chandler, to Monica, when she scolds him for having his conference in New Jersey.

"We're flipping Monica's mattress." -Chandler, to Rachel, when she walks in on them talking about her and Emily.

"Condoms?"

"You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth."

"And condoms are the way to do that?" -Chandler and Joey, while looking through Joey's emergency box.

"Le Poo's still alive?!" -Ross, to Rachel, when she learns that Le Poo died.

"It's Le Poo."

"I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better." -Rachel and Phoebe, having a slight misunderstanding.

"Oh, you should live with Joey, Rollo's everywhere." -Chandler, to Monica, when she's excited about the chocolates on the pillows.

"Oh, dear God, they gave us glasses!" -Chandler, to Monica, when she brandishes a glass at him.

"I hear ya, Mugsy!" -Chandler, to Monica, when she thinks the hotel's trying to cheat them.

"It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!" -Chandler, finding the car chase is over, after switching rooms for the tenth time.

"I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!" -Monica, to Chandler, about who ruined their weekend.

"Ohh!! Lucky me! Oh my God, that is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!" -Rachel, to Ross, when he tells her the good news is they can hang out until Emily arrives.

"Damn Rollo's!" -Chandler, sitting on a Rollo.

"I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food."

"Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first, but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea." -Monica and Chandler, telling Joey about their horrible weekends.

"300 dollars?!"

"Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!" -Monica and Chandler, settling the room payment.

"Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!" -Monica, to Joey, when he comes out to the hall to check on them.

"I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go... Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related! You lift right out." -Rachel, about the one she thought would be phased out of the group.

"Were you, or were you not, on a gay cruise?!" -Joey, to Chandler, after the hotel calls about the eye-lash curler.

"Well, for starters, I would've said the right name at my wedding!" -Rachel, to Ross, when he asks what she'd do in his situation.

"IN LONDON!!!" -Joey, finding out about Monica and Chandler.