Rachel: wants to talk Joey about Chandler and Monica all the time. Joey doesn't have much else to tell her about, but she continues pestering him with questions. Rachel decides to try and get some answers from Monica. She goes to Central Perk on her lunch break, specifically to talk to Monica. She thinks that they haven't been able to have a nice chat in awhile. They have a little small talk, Rachel steering the conversation toward men. Monica doesn't take the bait, and Rachel has to go back to work. A few days later, Rachel tries a new tactic. She confesses to Monica that she made out with a guy that Monica liked back when they were in high school. She waits for Monica to confess a secret she's kept from Rachel, but Monica doesn't have anything to confess. Rachel admits that she overheard Monica setting up a date with Chandler. Monica laughs it off, saying that they were just talking, and she was actually calling Chandler a bigot. Rachel doesn't believe it, but goes with Monica's explanation. Joey comes over one afternoon to get away from Chandler and Monica. Rachel's upset because Monica called her, saying she had to work late. She's sad that Monica's been lying about Chandler, deciding to go across the hall and confront them. She sneaks into Chandler and Joey's, creeping up to listen at Chandler's door. She hears Monica telling Chandler he has to make racist jokes, since Rachel now thinks he's a bigot. Monica goes on to say that lying to Rachel makes her really sad, since she's always told Rachel everything. Rachel feels guilty for spying, and leaves, only she knocks over a lamp on her way out. Monica comes out of Chandler's room, thinking it was Joey. Neither of them know what to say to one another. Monica tells Rachel that Chandler's started paying her to clean his room; that's what she meant when she said she was working late. Rachel goes along with this, saying she only came over to borrow a lamp. Rachel congratulates Monica on her knew job with a hug, and leaves. Chandler comes out of his room, laughing at how gullible Rachel is, not understanding that Rachel knows, but is pretending not to.
Ross: comes in to Central Perk after getting some bad news: Emily's getting married. He tells the gang unable to hide his anger, which is only more apparent when he orders, and crushes, a scone. Later, he tells Phoebe all about a nasty letter he wrote Emily. At first he's appalled to find that one of the birds has messed on the letter, but then finds it fitting. He, Joey, and Phoebe are supposed to go to a movie, but he backs out because he wants to be alone. The next day, everyone but Chandler is gathered at Joey's, worried because Ross was out all night. Monica's pretty freaked, since that's not particularly Ross-like behavior. When he finally strolls in, Monica confronts him. Ross says he just went out for a walk, and to a bar. Joey gaspingly announces that Ross must've hooked up with someone. Ross doesn't want to talk about it, but the apartment door flies open to reveal Janice, coming in to return Ross's scarf. Janice is upset that everyone knows, since she's supposed to be pining for Chandler in Yemen. The group assures Janice that they're not judging her. She leaves, and Ross tells everyone that he plans on seeing her again because they've got a lot in common. No one is amused. Ross tells Joey and Phoebe about another great date with Janice, saying it was really easy to open up to her about all the negative things going on in his life. Ross meets Janice in Central Perk, under the impression that their relationship is going really well. Janice starts to leave, but Ross pulls her back. He starts talking, but interrupts himself to whine about his coffee being wrong. Janice can't stand it anymore, and tells Ross that she can't be with him because he whines too much. Ross is stunned that Janice is breaking up with him because she finds him annoying. He realizes how ridiculous he's been acting, fully supporting Janice's breakup. Ross eventually tells Chandler about hooking up with Janice. Instead of being upset, Chandler laughs. Ross's surprised Chandler took it so well, since dating another guy's ex is one of those unwritten rules, along with dating someone's relative. Chandler quickly feigns anger, but tells Ross he forgives him for dating Janice. He's quick to encourage Ross to remember that he's forgiving him, that he's letting Ross live with him and Joey free of rent, and, for added brownie points, Chandler gives him twenty-seven bucks. He decides to write it all down, in case Ross forgets.
Joey and Phoebe: hang out quite a bit this episode. Joey does talk to Rachel some about Monica and Chandler. They go see You've Got Mail together, the night Ross disappears. They're racing the chick and duck when Ross comes home after his second date with Janice. They don't want him seeing her, and Phoebe tells him that they'll listen to his problems... before being distracted by the chick and duck race.
- How is Joey not disgustingly fat?
Behold the power of the napkin bib.
- Chandler's wearing his Leatherstocking vest again.
- Scones! MY scones!
Ross's version of the Boston Tea Party
- See, Chandler and Monica go to his work party, but I thought their relationship was secret from everyone. Not that they were just hiding it from their friends, which makes it seem like they're ashamed.
- Doug is still disgusting, and I still can't type his name without making it dough.
- I like that Rachel tries to get Monica to open up to her. She doesn't sneak around trying to catch Monica and Chandler in the act, but gives Monica chances to tell her about the relationship.
- I love You've Got Mail. I'm sure this makes me lame, but seriously, I watch it every time it's on TV. Why Joey's willingly going to see it is beyond me, though.
- Ross licks the envelope after one of the bird's makes a mess on it.
- Matthew Perry plays tennis!
This is soooooo exciting! Cause, y'know, he used to play tennis, and was good enough to go pro. He guest-starred on an episode of the old 90210 as a tennis player, too!
- Monica's sort of a jerk.
Tennis player, airplane--who can decide?
- I get why Chandler acts fake with the people he works with, especially his boss. Obviously, he should be able to be himself, but sometimes it's easier to just play along.
Dear God, his mouth is open wide.
- I play tennis a little like John McEnroe, but I have never once bent the top of my racket.
- Ross is gone for one night, and Monica gathers everyone together to worry about what happened.
Hello, he's an adult, he can do that if he wants.
- Janice and Ross!!!!
Janice still thinks Chandler's in Yemen. She's also wearing what I believe is a yeti.
- Rachel says that Monica's nickname for Chandler is just Mr. Big. I'm pretty sure Monica was going to say more than that during the phone conversation Rachel overheard. It sounded more like "Mr. Big--" And since when do you coo at someone that they're a bigot?
- I can think of nothing better to do with my free time, than race a chick and duck.
- It's great how they handle Monica knowing that Rachel knows. Rachel understands not to say anything, but is still able to silently convey her approval.
- God, you know it's bad when Janice dumps you for being too annoying.
- I don't really understand why no one tells Chandler about Janice and Ross sooner. No one acts like it's supposed to be a big secret, or anything.
The Magna Doodle Says:
Joey call Kim :)
Oh. My. God.
"Sorry, Monica and Chandler are making love." -Joey, to Rachel, when he thinks she's scolding him for saying Monica and Chandler are doing it.
"STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!" -Ross, pummeling a scone after learning of Emily's upcoming marriage.
"So, are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?"
"Pheebs, I don't think anyone's mad about that."
"Exactly! Because it's in the past!" -Phoebe and Rachel, while Phoebe is trying to convince Ross he can't be mad about the past.
"He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club... strip church." -Chandler, to Monica, about Doug.
"Oh, I used to, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at... bigger rocks." -Chandler, to Monica, explaining why he has to find a tennis racket.
"Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff." -Joey, to Ross, trying to convince him to come to the movies.
"Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!" -Monica, gloating during the tennis match.
"You're not even giving them a chance!"
"They have rackets, don't they?!" -Chandler and Monica, when Chandler wants to let Doug and Kara win the next game.
"Maybe we should check the trash chute." -Joey, when Ross is missing.
"Oh, nobody's judging you." -Phoebe, to Janice, after she and Ross sleep together.
"Okay, look, I--I know what you guys are going to say..."
"You two will have very hairy children."
"Okay, I didn't know you would say that." -Ross and Phoebe, after he spends the night with Janice.
"Congratulations on your new job." -Rachel, to Monica, after she catches Monica at Chandler's.
"Let--let me make sure I'm hearing this right. You're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice." -Ross, after Janice breaks up with him.
"Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey." -Janice, to Joey.