TOW: the Hypnosis Tape

Chandler: started smoking again in TO: Without the Ski Trip. He continues smoking here, much to everyone's chagrin. Chandler's scolded by Gunther as he walks into Central Perk with a cigarette. Chandler doesn't want to put it out and Gunther agrees as long as he can have a drag. Chandler gives him the whole thing. Chandler sits down with everyone and pulls out another cigarette. Rachel pulls it out of his mouth and throws it away. They do this a couple of times, before Chandler gets sick of it. Rachel gives him hypnosis tapes that helped a co-worker stop smoking. Chandler agrees to try it, with little hope it'll work. That night, Chandler listens to the hypnosis tape while he's sleeping. The tape is geared specifically to women. The more Chandler listens to the tapes, the more he starts acting like a woman. He comes into Monica and Rachel's for chap-stick and tells Rachel her blouse is 'stunning.' He puts the chap-stick on like it's lipstick, even blotting it with a tissue. Chandler goes to play basketball and notices Joey's keys still in the door. He throws them to Joey over-hand and sloppy, a stereotypically girlie throw. He comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and one turbaned on top of his head. When Pete comes to pick up Monica he gives her advice like one of her girlfriends would. Chandler's sleeping one night when the voice on the tape changes. It's Joey, asking Chandler to make him cheese sandwiches and buy him hundreds of pairs of pants. Chandler wakes up. The good news, Chandler does stop smoking.

Phoebe: gets a surprise visit from Frank Jr. at Central Perk. Frank's really excited because he's getting married. Phoebe's mostly excited until Frank introduces his fiancee, Alice (Debra Jo Rupp), a middle-aged high school Home Ec. teacher. Phoebe tries to act supportive, especially since Frank is confiding in her, hoping she'll understand, unlike his mom. She becomes even more concerned when Frank and Alice talk about starting a family right away, but she doesn't say anything. She talks to Ross and Joey about her fears regarding Frank Jr.'s marriage. She wants to talk some sense into Frank, but isn't sure how. Instead, she asks Ross and Joey to do it. They reluctantly agree, but it doesn't go well. Phoebe learns that Ross and Joey are now part of the wedding party, so she decides to take matters into her own hands. She asks Alice over about a Home Ec. disaster, a marinara sauce stained white, lace tablecloth. She then tells Alice not to marry Frank. Phoebe comes home to a dark apartment, thinking she's alone. Frank Jr. is on her couch and scares her. Frank tells her how horrible his day was because Alice called off the wedding. He tells Phoebe how happy Alice made him, how she made all the awful stuff in his life not so bad. Phoebe tells him what she did and Frank is furious. He won't talk to her, so Phoebe brings Alice in to explain why their relationship wouldn't have worked out. Alice does pretty well at first, but then she and Frank end up making out on Phoebe's couch. Phoebe gives up and leaves.

Monica: is working one day when she asks Rachel to fix her up with someone. At the same time, she walks over to see if a frequent customer, Pete (Jon Favreau), needs anything else. Pete has a huge crush on her and asks her out all the time, but Monica always says no. Later that evening, Monica and Rachel argue about why Monica should date Pete. Monica isn't really attracted to him and doesn't want to lead him on. Rachel thinks it's only one date and Monica should just go for it. Chandler comes over for chap-stick and Rachel tells him how Pete wrote Monica a check for a $20,000 tip. Monica shows him the check and Chandler realizes that Pete is a millionaire, who invented really popular office place software. Monica goes to Pete's office to confront him about the check; she thinks he's trying to buy a date with her. Pete tells her that isn't the case, that he really likes her and thinks she likes him. She agrees to go out on one date with him. Everyone's really excited to meet the millionaire, but Monica keeps introduction brief. Pete says they're going out for pizza. They go to Italy. Like, really the country, not Little Italy or anything. The date seems to go well.

Rachel: is disgusted by Chandler's smoking and gives him the hypnosis tapes. Ross makes fun of her for advocating something as dumb as hypnosis. She says that he was hypnotized in Atlantic City, so he shouldn't make fun of it. Ross acts like it wasn't a big deal. She also really wants Monica to date Pete. Not just because he's a millionaire, but because he seems to really like Monica. And she thinks the $20,000 check is cute.

Ross and Joey: end up having to talk to Frank about not settling down with Alice so young. It goes really well until Frank says it's important to meet someone you really love and he has that with Alice. Ross says he had that with Rachel, but blew it. Joey wishes he had that. Instead of talking Frank out of marriage, they all think it's a great idea. Joey's going to be Frank's Best Man and Ross's supposed to be the Ring Bearer. Joey gets up to use the bathroom late one night and hears Chandler's hypnosis tape. He changes it.

• Monica and Joey practice their fake laughs. Monica's reminds me of Roseanne's. Like, Roseanne's laugh that was on the end of the opening credits. Which is kinda funny because Roseanne really hated Friends.
  

• The age difference between Frank and Alice doesn't bother me.
  

But she looks so much like a middle-aged soccer mom that watching her make out with Frank Jr. is just creepy. She should be serving cookies and going to church potlucks.
Also, you gotta wonder if they started doing it when Frank was still her student and under age.

• I heart the hypnosis tape. I say "I'm a strong, confidant woman" all the time. But, like, there's also this:

And this:

Chandler really manages to pull that look off.

• I get that Phoebe's trying to stop her brother from making a mistake, but despite being creeped out by the kissing, I think Frank and Alice are kinda adorable.

And not being with Alice makes him do this. Weird and sad.

• So, Jon Favreau plays Pete. I, for really no reason at all, love Jon Favreau. I sorta wish he'd lasted longer. Stupid, Ultimate Fighting Championship. Monica has the best boyfriends. He freaking takes her to Italy. ITALY.
  

• Out of all the things Joey could've asked for on the hypnosis tape, why freaking cheese sandwiches and pants? Not, like, all the money in your bank account?
  

• I'm irritated by them repeating gags. I know in a show with this many episodes, some things will happen twice, but it bugs me. In this episode, Ross hands Rachel a cup of some coffee like substance, but she didn't want cinnamon. Ross just scoops it out with his fingers. Monica and Chandler do the same thing in TOW: the Race Car Bed.

Oh. My. God

"Oh, dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit." -Gunther, taking a drag from Chandler's cigarette.

"Okay, that's like the least fun game ever." -Chandler, to Rachel, when she keeps taking his cigarette.

" Nope, that patch is no good." -Chandler, trying to use the hypnosis tape as a nicotine patch.

"Y'know, I would've bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married." -Chandler, about Frank's upcoming wedding.

"Yeah, or--or to get a hooker."
"Always illegal, Joey." -Joey and Chandler, talking about Frank Jr. being too young to drink at his own bachelor party.

"If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?" -Chandler, watching Alice and Frank kiss.

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem I mean, I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men." -Rachel, to Monica, after Monica asks Rachel to hook her up with someone.

"No, no. Oh, I'm fine with the age thing, y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat!" -Phoebe, to Ross and Joey, about Alice and Frank.

"Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around." -Chandler, about his briefcase.

"This is your time y'know? Yeah, you're young, you're--you're weird, chicks dig that." -Ross, to Frank Jr, on why he shouldn't marry Alice.

"You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania." -Monica, to Pete, after he gives her the $20,000 check.

"Yeah, if the best is, like, unbelievable pain!" -Frank, to Phoebe, when Alice ends their relationship.

"My mother didn't want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch." -Frank, to Phoebe, discussing his mom's reaction to learning about Alice.

TOW: Frank Jr.

Phoebe: waits outside Central Perk for Frank Jr. Frank shows up and Phoebe brings him inside to introduce him to her friends. Frank's excited about his first time in the city and wants to go to Times Square, buy ninja stars, and take a picture of a hooker. Phoebe and Frank Jr. hang out at her apartment. They don't have much to talk about. Phoebe wants to see if both she and Frank can roll their tongues; Frank can, but Phoebe can't. Frank shows Phoebe his favorite hobby, melting stuff. Phoebe goes to bed, leaving Frank Jr. with the fire extinguisher, which he promptly tries to melt. Frank does his own version of karate out on Monica and Rachel's balcony while Phoebe talks to Monica. Phoebe's upset that the weekend isn't going like she expected; she wanted to be closer to Frank Jr, like Ross and Monica are close. Phoebe and Frank Jr. are watching tv at her apartment when she gets a phone call. She has a client at work and she has to go in. She tells Frank she's a masseuse, but Frank thinks she means she's a hooker. She invites him to go along and he eagerly agrees. At the massage place, Phoebe is getting ready for her client when one of her co-workers brings Frank Jr. in. Frank felt her up and she's furious. The confusion is explained, but Phoebe's hurt that Frank thought she was a hooker. Frank tells Phoebe he did have fun over the weekend and he's sorry he ruined it. He really feels a connection with Phoebe and apologizes for ruining the weekend.

Chandler and Joey: Chandler comes home and finds the apartment full of wood and tools. Joey says he's building an entertainment unit and that it won't take longer than a day. Chandler goes into his bedroom, but only the top half of the door opens. He trips over the bottom half. Later, Joey works on the unit, while Chandler is sleeping in his room. Joey drills through the wall, nearly hitting Chandler. Chandler yells at him and says he never wanted the unit. Joey goes to Monica and Rachel's for a beer. While there, he tells Monica she can get new bathroom tile on sale. He shows Monica how dingy her floor is and how easy it is to take the old tile off. Since Joey ruined her floor, Monica says he has to lay new tile. Joey's worried that Chandler'll be upset that he isn't finishing the unit, but he has no choice but to fix Monica's floor. Chandler comes in later looking for Joey because a varnish lid is stuck to the seat of his pants. He finds Joey working on Monica's bathroom floor. Chandler and Monica argue over who Joey's supposed to be working for. Joey finishes Monica's floor and has to finish the unit. Chandler gets Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe to help set up the unit for the first time. It's so big it blocks half of both Chandler and Joey's bedroom doors. Chandler tries to push it so it blocks all of Joey's door; it doesn't budge and it's still wet. Chandler bets Joey that he can't fit in the space for the tv. Joey gets in, Chandler shuts the door and sticks a board threw the handles, locking Joey in.

Ross and Rachel: At Central Perk, Chandler starts a discussion about he and Janice's freebie list, the list of five celebrities they are allowed to sleep with without the other getting angry. Rachel decides she and Ross should have a freebie list. Rachel makes one really easily, but Ross puts a lot of thought into his. The next time they're all at Central Perk, Ross says he's come up with three out of his five. One of the three is Isabella Rossellini, but Chandler tells Ross she's too international and he has less of a chance of meeting her. Ross produces the final list at Monica and Rachel's, it's printed out and laminated. Per Chandler's advice, Isabella Rossellini has been removed. Ross goes up to the counter in Central Perk for a pastry, he sees Isabella Rossellini waiting for a coffee. Ross is upset he took her off the list because he'd hit on her. Monica and Rachel make fun of him, saying he wouldn't hit on her anyway. Ross decides to do it. He talks to Isabella, offering to buy her coffee. She dismisses him, but Ross stops her, saying that she's on his list. Isabella wants to see it and snatches it from Ross's hand. She's not on the list and when Ross says it's not finalized, she points out that it's laminated. Ross explains he bumped her because of her international status. She says she bumped him for another goofy coffee house guy and leaves.

Monica: is unaware about the dingy status of her bathroom tile. When Joey suggests she get new tile she doesn't understand why, until he shows her the pristine spot under the clothes hamper. She still doesn't want to do it, afraid it will be a big project. Joey pries up a chunk of tile to show her how easy it is, but the tile has been glued down. Joey is horrified and tells her to forget it, only now she's got a big spot of floor with tile missing. She orders him to fix it. She and Chandler get in a fight over Joey's labor, but Joey does finish her floor first. After it's finished, she won't let anyone go in the bathroom. She talks to Phoebe about her relationship with Frank Jr. She tells Phoebe that she and Ross didn't like each other at all while they were growing up. Monica says a relationship like she and Ross have takes time to build. She and Rachel kind of tease Ross into hitting on Isabella Rossellini.

• The Frank Jr. stuff I could take or leave, but uh, the entertainment unit and the list are AMAZING. I like the entertainment unit so much, in fact, that it is my profile picture. For inquiring minds, the text says "No you didn't 'get me'! You 'get me,' you kill me!" I love.

• Oh, construction shenanigans, how I love thee...

I can't stop thinking how random this would be. Go home after a (sorta) hard day at work, open your bedroom door and flop, right on your face.

• I'm pretty sure, Monica being the obsessive compulsive cleaner that she is, she'd have known about the gross state of her bathroom floor. She seems like the type of person who'd move everything out of the bathroom to mop it.

• Okay, so the lists. Chandler- Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and Jessica Rabbit. Rachel - Chris O'Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr, Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross- The first three are Elizabeth Hurley, Susan Sarandon, and Isabella Rossellini. The final list is Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hamill.

• My friends and I all made lists, but it's not, like, a fixed thing. My list changes all the time. Joaquin Phoenix was on it for years, until his recent strange period. Now my list consists of Alexander Skarsgard, Rob Pattinson, Tom Felton, James McAvoy, and Grant Wilson (from Ghost Hunters--shut up).
  

• Joey wears really tight pants while making the entertainment unit.

• Frank Jr is an idiot, but I get really embarrassed for him.
  

• ISABELLA ROSSELLINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't lie, I've never seen her in anything but Friends. I get so excited because she's the daughter of director Roberto Rossellini and Ingrid Bergman. Ingrid effing Bergman!
  

Yeah, I'm watching Casablanca later.

• Best. Moment. Ever.
  

Oh. My. God.

"So what happened? A forest tick you off?" -Chandler, walking into his apartment and seeing all the lumber.

"You're building a post office?" -Chandler, after Joey says he's building something for the mail.

"Power saw kinda got away from me there." -Joey, explaining why Chandler's door is cut in half.

"Spiderman?"
"Hardy Boy."
"Peter Parker." -Ross, Rachel, and Chandler, about who Parker Stevenson is.

"Y' know, we don't really take advantage of living in the city." -Chandler, after Frank Jr. says he wants to buy ninja stars and take a picture of a hooker.

"Hey! Where ya headin' in those pants? 1982?" -Monica, seeing Joey's tight pants.

"Oooh-hooo, very attractive. Forgiving." -Chandler, when Ross says Elizabeth Hurley is on his list.

"Yeah, cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini, geography." -Rachel, during the Isabella Rossellini is too international conversation.

"Y'know what, it's my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish." -Chandler, having sat on the lid for a can of varnish.

"Build the unit Cenderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly." -Phoebe, when Chandler and Monica fight over Joey.

"Whoa! Big octopus!" -Frank Jr., watching tv.

"No, no, no, I wouldn't do you myself. I mean, that would be weird. Yeah, no, I'll get one of the other girls to do it." -Phoebe, taking Frank Jr. to work with her.

"Whoa! What're you going in there for?"
"What, you want like a number?" -Monica and Chandler, when Chandler tries to go to the bathroom after the floor is finished.

"Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice." -Rachel, to Dorothy Hamill being on Ross's list.

"Yeah--yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller!" -Chandler, when the unit is up.

"Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossellini. I'm just sorry we don't have popcorn." -Rachel, watching Ross and Isabella.

"I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity."
"Yeah, for you." -Ross and Isabella, discussing he place on his list.

"I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there." -Isabella, after seeing she isn't on Ross's list.

TOW: the Bullies

Chandler and Ross: plan to play racquetball, but the stop in Central Perk first. They decide to hang out at the coffee shop instead of playing their game. They sit on the couch, but two guys, Arthur (Nicky Katt) and Carl (Tom DeLuise), inform Ross and Chandler that they were sitting on the couch first. Ross and Chandler are okay with moving, but Chandler makes a sarcastic comment and guys get defensive. Arthur steals Chandler's hat and refuses to give it back. They tell the gang about the bullies. They go back to Central Perk the next day and sit on the couch. Arthur and Carl come in and want the couch. Ross tells Gunther on them. Arthur and Carl want to fight, but Chandler and Ross don't. Arthur and Carl tell Chandler and Ross not to come back to Central Perk unless they want to fight. Chandler and Ross try making cappuccino at home, but it doesn't go well. Joey says he'll go down to Central Perk with them and the bullies will leave them alone. Ross decides they need to stand their ground without Joey. Ross and Chandler go to Central Perk and try to drink their coffee incredibly fast. They leave, running into the bullies outside. They all prepare to fight, taking off their watches and removing their keys from their pockets. They lay down fighting rules, but before any punches are thrown, some guys steal their stuff. All four chase after the robbers. They become friends, though Chandler didn't do any fighting, having tripped over a jump rope. He takes his hat back from Arthur and runs away, tripping again.

Phoebe: decides that she's getting a lot of signs that mean she needs to go see her dad again. She enlists Joey and Rachel to accompany her. She's ready to go, gets out of the car, but is attacked by a vicious yippy dog. The dog chases her back to the cab, sticking around so no one can get out of the car. Once it's dark, they think the dog is gone. Phoebe's decided that the dog was a bad omen and she shouldn't go to the door. She starts driving away and runs over the dog. Phoebe takes the dog to the vet and learns it'll be okay. She picks the dog up and takes it to her dad's. A woman answers the door and Phoebe asks for Frank. Phoebe meets Frank Jr. (Giovanni Ribisi) and learns her dad moved out years ago. Frank Jr. sees her out and Phoebe reveals she is his sister. Frank Jr. asks for her phone number in case he wants to call her sometime and they hang out, talking about their father's penchant for stilts.


Joey and Rachel: go with Phoebe to talk to her dad. Joey warns Rachel how fragile Phoebe can be about her dad. Joey brings a sandwich, which Rachel feeds to crazy dog. Joey also suggests they bring pillows so they don't slam against the cab backseat barrier. Joey calls the Buffay household and tells the woman who answers that he has her dog. It sounds like a ransom call. Joey wants to go with Chandler and Ross to deal with the bullies. Monica asks Rachel to loan her a hundred bucks, which Rachel can't do.

Monica: starts watching the business channel because there's a stock with her initials, MEG. Her dad gets her an interview, but Monica doesn't want the job. It's to work at a 50's theme restaurant where she'd have to wear a costume (including wig and fake boobs) and dance. She decides to play the stock market, investing in MEG. She makes some money off of it and starts getting really serious, dropping MEG and buying lots of other stock. She ends up losing all her money and asks Rachel for a hundred dollars. Rachel can't give it to her and Monica has to take the diner job.

• I'd never play the stock market without knowing about what I'm buying. The whole thing makes me a nervous wreck. Also, I don't understand any of it.
  

• I can't believe someone steals Chandler's hat! The gall of that guy!!

• It's like a mini, incredibly less menacing Cujo.

• I don't know why I'm so excited by Frank Jr. I like Frank Jr okay...he's kind of a creep at first. Any time I see Giovanni Ribisi, even in Avatar, I'm all "FRANK JR.!!!!!"

• At one point, Carl the 'big bully' has on a Bolero tie. You read that right. Feel free to giggle with glee.
  

• Ooooh, Monica at the diner!! Doing the YMCA!!

I think she looks like Daryl Hannah from Steel Magnolia's with that wig and those glasses.

See?

• I'm not very excited by this episode. The bullies are funny at first, but then it's kind of sad. Like, are their really people in their late twenties and thirties that are like that? That's depressing. Ha, I do really like when Carl and Arthur start talking about their jobs and trying to have a baby before they beat up Chandler and Ross.
  

Oh. My. God.

"And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken."
"His Indian name?" -Phoebe and Monica, when Phoebe thinks everything is a sign she needs to see her dad.

"Stop talking, stop talking now." -Chandler, after the bully steals his hat.

"Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one." -Chandler, when Rachel comforts Ross after the bully encounter.

"Nah, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now." -Chandler, responding to Joey saying they should go get his hat back.

"Ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?" -Rachel, being disgusted by Joey's sandwich.

"Do you have to be a Century 21 agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?"
"Do you say this stuff to girls?" -Chandler and Ross, musing at the coffee shop.

"Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then--and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to." -Chandler, when the bullies want to sit on the couch.

"Don't play with his thing." -Chandler, when Ross plays with the bullies Bolero tie.

"Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now." -Joey, when Phoebe hits the dog.

"Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY because I think it sounds Zexy." -Monica, about the stocks she bought.

"Y'know, my motto is get out before they go down."
"That is not my motto." -Monica and Joey, when Monica discusses her stock philosophy.

"He said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back, so...still hoping." -Phoebe, having talked to the vet.

"She'll be a much better friend when the market closes." -Rachel, as Monica freaks about Joey using the phone.

"Alright, hang on a second there, Custer." -Chandler, to Ross when he wants to stand up to the bullies."

"Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Y'know, because I think actually mine's growing back." -Chandler, to Ross saying getting in a fight was a right of passage.

"I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs." -Monica, after losing all her money and knowing she'll have to take the diner job.

"You burn your mouth?"
"Cannot feel my tongue." -Chandler and Ross, drinking their coffee too fast to get out of the coffee house.

TOW: the Baby on the Bus

Ross and Monica: Ross has Ben over at Monica's. Every time Monica is near Ben, he cries. Monica makes kiwi lime pie, but Ross thinks it's key lime pie. Ross is allergic to kiwi and begins having a reaction. Monica has to rush Ross to the hospital and Ross leaves Joey and Chandler in charge of Ben. Ross is afraid of needles and makes Monica ask the doctor if instead of a shot, the medicine could be administered orally. It has to be the shot, so Monica allows Ross to squeeze her hand. Ross squeezes so hard he nearly breaks Monica's hand and she has to have x-rays. When they return to Monica's apartment, she and Ross reminisce about all the times they hurt one another when they were children. Monica learns that Ross cut the legs off her Malibu Ken. Ross says he only did it because the legs were infected and Ken was going to die.

Chandler and Joey: were planning to play basketball before a) Monica threw the ball out the window and b) Ross had the allergic reaction and they agree to watch Ben. They decide to take Ben out for a walk; Joey thinks it'll be a good way to pick up chicks (oddly like pick up sticks). The first woman they meet, played by Lea Thompson, thinks that they're a gay couple who've adopted a child. Deciding the walk was a bust, Chandler hails a taxi just as Joey sees some girls getting on a bus. They abandon the taxi and get on the bus, beginning a conversation with the women. Chandler and Joey get off with the women at their stop, forgetting Ben. They call the transit authority and are told to come pick up their baby. When they arrive, there are two babies and they don't know which is Ben. They pick one and bring him home. They're worried they chose the wrong baby because Ben doesn't cry when Monica first picks him up. Ben finally cries and they think they're home free until Ross changes Ben's diaper. The diaper is has a stamp on it that reads, "Property of Human Services." Ross chases them out of Monica's apartment.

Phoebe and Rachel: Phoebe is preparing to play at Central Perk; she wrote a new song and plays it for Rachel. Terry, Rachel's boss, calls her over and informs her that Phoebe can't play as planned. Instead, he's hired a professional musician. He makes Rachel tell Phoebe she can't play. Phoebe's upset, so Rachel talks Terry into allowing Phoebe to go on after the pro. Phoebe is excited until she learns she isn't being paid. Phoebe sets up outside Central Perk and plays in protest. Stephanie (Chrissie Hynde, from the Pretenders) is the pro and Phoebe challenges her on her knowledge of the chords. Stephanie knows all the chords, but doesn't have a guitar strap, so Phoebe feels superior. Stephanie is a hit at Central Perk. While Stephanie plays 'Angle of the Morning,' Rachel goes out to see Phoebe and brings her a cup of coffee. Phoebe doesn't enjoy playing for money and decides to play for herself. Phoebe teaches Stephanie 'Smelly Cat.'

• Chandler and Joey use their basketball as a Ben stand-in to make fun of Monica. Joey cries every time Chandler holds the ball close to him...which is why Monica throws it out the window.

• The dreaded Terry is in this episode. Ugh, I hate that man. And not just because he won't let Phoebe play. His voice makes my ears want to shrivel up and die.

• Look! It's Chrissie Hynde!

I always forget she's in this episode and then get really excited...but I'm not entirely sure why I care so much...

• Frank Jr. is here! Only...he's not Frank Jr. He's just some guy who tosses a condom in Phoebe's guitar case and then comes back for it. But still, it's Giovanni Ribisi. He must've run back for the condom really well to get a recurring role.
  

I also really like Phoebe's jacket. It's so--shiny.

• This is the first time Phoebe plays 'Smelly Cat.' Yay!
  

Oh. My. God.

"Is your tongue swelling up?"
"Either that or my mouth is getting smaller." -Monica and Ross, after Ross eats the kiwi.

"And Tegrin spelled backwards is 'Nirget'." -Phoebe's song she wrote in the shower.

"You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?" -Chandler, taking Ben for a walk.

"My--my name is written out in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk." -Phoebe, learning Terry hired a professional to play at Central Perk.

"Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it in my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun." -Ross, showing his fear of needles.

"That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out." -Chandler, after all the women they meet on their walk think he and Joey are gay.

"No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff." -Joey, to the women on the bus.

"We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk."
"You know it?" -Joey and Chandler, to the women on the bus.

"Hey! Hey! I got my S's back!" -Ross, after the swelling goes down.

"Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads."
"What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?" -Joey and Chandler, trying to flip a coin to decide which baby is Ben.

"Stay back, I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!" -Chandler, as he and Joey run from Ross.