TOW: Eddie Moves In

Joey and Chandler: Everyone except Chandler goes to see Joey's new place. Joey's proud of his apartment, but is disappointed that Chandler isn't there. Joey and Chandler are both lonely and missing each other. Chandler finally calls Joey and they end up watching Baywatch together over the phone. The talk is so good it makes them want to live together again. Monica and Phoebe tell Joey to ask Chandler if he can move back; they assure him that Chandler misses him. Ross and Rachel tell Chandler not to ask Joey back because Joey's so happy in his new place. Joey comes by the apartment to talk to Chandler. Chandler introduces Joey to his new roommate, Eddie (Adam Goldberg). Joey's sad and jealous. Joey comes by one morning and is jealous when Eddie's moved where they keep the mail and that Eddie's making Chandler eggs. The last straw is when Eddie drinks all the juice. Joey and Chandler fight. Chandler realizes living with Eddie isn't that great when Eddie won't play Foosball and doesn't like Baywatch. There's a sad 'we miss each other' montage.

Ross and Monica: Ross's been spending a lot of time at Monica and Rachel's. He's driving Monica crazy. It starts when Ross takes over the bathroom and won't let Monica get in. They start acting like kids again. Ross gets into a fight with someone over the phone about what kind of dinosaur Dino from the Flintstones was. He wakes Monica up from a nap. The call waiting beeps and it's someone for Monica, he doesn't take a message. Another call comes through and Ross tells Monica it's Richard; it's actually their mother. They argue over what to watch on tv, a nature show or Entertainment Tonight. Monica tells Ross that she hated him when they were kids and him being around all the time reminds her of that. They make up.

Phoebe: gets approached by a producer to record 'Smelly Cat' and make a video. The producer says that if it goes well, Phoebe might get to make a record. Phoebe goes to the recording studio and is shocked at having backup singers. She gets a tape of the video and she, Monica, Rachel, and Ross watch it. The others realize at once that it's not Phoebe singing, but Phoebe thinks it is her. They don't tell Phoebe the truth because they don't want to hurt her. Phoebe comes into Central Perk and tells Monica, Rachel, and Ross that she found out it wasn't her singing. Instead of being upset for herself, Phoebe feels bad for the woman that did the singing.

Rachel: drops a slice of pie in a dude's coat hood while at work. She makes Ross get the piece of pie out. She's weirded out by Ross and Monica fighting, especially when Monica tries to get her in the middle like the 'mom.'

• I wouldn't have said anything to anyone about dropping pie in someone's coat. I'd just pretend like it didn't happen.

Plus, I really like the mental image of the guy putting his hood up and getting a face full of apple pie (that sounds kinda dirty).

• This whole Chandler and Joey not living together thing makes me sad. This is a great episode, I'm all for the non-sexual roommate angst, but not having Chandler and Joey together is like--like--well, it's awful.
  

• Just for the hell of it, I looked up some Chandler/Joey slash...it's not as prolific as say, Harry Potter fanfics, but it's out there. And really depressing. The one I skimmed through has Chandler killing himself because he's in love with Joey. Geez.
  

• Ross fights with someone (I guess another paleontologist) about Dino being a Velociraptor.

No, I see the resemblance. Totally.

• Phoebe does a video for 'Smelly Cat'!
  

I'm nearly 100% sure I had a Barbie that had the exact same dress as Phoebe.

• Phoebe's singing voice is dubbed and she doesn't realize it. I read a bio of Audrey Hepburn and the author said that happened to Hepburn on the set of My Fair Lady. Hepburn'd hoped to do the singing herself, but they replaced her voice without notifying her. Yes, I realize this has very little to do with anything.

• Eddie is a creep. He's weird. He doesn't like Baywatch or Foosball (!!!) And I have a horrible confession--despite all these things--I think Eddie is awesome. Not that I'd want to chill with him, or anything, but he's so entertainingly odd. During the Eddie episodes a voice in my head screams "EDDIE!!!" like Columbia does in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Also, why does Chandler attract psycho's with irritating laughs?

• Chandler and Joey have a sadness montage set to "All by Myself." It makes me a little misty-eyed, I'm not gonna lie.
  

• Um, this makes me sad. I can't embed the video, but click and watch and stuff. It's a joyous thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETQfuzNGT58&feature=PlayList&p=BAB89F1CF91C04CD&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=20

Oh. My. God.

"Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide." -Ross, checking out Joey's new furniture.

"Hey, nice pillow. So, now tell me ,is this genuine Muppet skin?" -Rachel, on Joey's fabric selection.

"Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago." -Chandler, when Phoebe says she's been discovered.

"I've never wanted you more." -Rachel, to Ross after he mocks Monica using a silly voice.

"Well, y'know what they say. Ask your slippers a question...you're going crazy." -Chandler, talking to his puppy slippers about Joey.

"I mean, it's a regular space...fest." -Chandler, trying to be excited about the empty apartment.

"Was that the oven timer?"
"That's right my friend. It's time for..."
"BAYWATCH!" -Joey and Chandler, excited for the show.

"I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine! Run like the wind!"-Chandler, expressing his joy over Baywatch.

"I figured I'd have, like, time alone with my thoughts but, y'know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think." -Joey, discussing his doubts about living alone.

"Did she leave a number?"
"Did you see me write one down?" -Monica and Ross, fighting.

"It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate." -Rachel, about Eddie.

"Well, what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?" -Chandler, upset that Joey's jealous over Eddie and his egg cooking.

"Oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels." -Phoebe, sad for the woman who sings in the 'Smelly Cat' video.

"Well, that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people...and the running." -Chandler, trying to sell Eddie on Baywatch.

TOW: the Baby on the Bus

Ross and Monica: Ross has Ben over at Monica's. Every time Monica is near Ben, he cries. Monica makes kiwi lime pie, but Ross thinks it's key lime pie. Ross is allergic to kiwi and begins having a reaction. Monica has to rush Ross to the hospital and Ross leaves Joey and Chandler in charge of Ben. Ross is afraid of needles and makes Monica ask the doctor if instead of a shot, the medicine could be administered orally. It has to be the shot, so Monica allows Ross to squeeze her hand. Ross squeezes so hard he nearly breaks Monica's hand and she has to have x-rays. When they return to Monica's apartment, she and Ross reminisce about all the times they hurt one another when they were children. Monica learns that Ross cut the legs off her Malibu Ken. Ross says he only did it because the legs were infected and Ken was going to die.

Chandler and Joey: were planning to play basketball before a) Monica threw the ball out the window and b) Ross had the allergic reaction and they agree to watch Ben. They decide to take Ben out for a walk; Joey thinks it'll be a good way to pick up chicks (oddly like pick up sticks). The first woman they meet, played by Lea Thompson, thinks that they're a gay couple who've adopted a child. Deciding the walk was a bust, Chandler hails a taxi just as Joey sees some girls getting on a bus. They abandon the taxi and get on the bus, beginning a conversation with the women. Chandler and Joey get off with the women at their stop, forgetting Ben. They call the transit authority and are told to come pick up their baby. When they arrive, there are two babies and they don't know which is Ben. They pick one and bring him home. They're worried they chose the wrong baby because Ben doesn't cry when Monica first picks him up. Ben finally cries and they think they're home free until Ross changes Ben's diaper. The diaper is has a stamp on it that reads, "Property of Human Services." Ross chases them out of Monica's apartment.

Phoebe and Rachel: Phoebe is preparing to play at Central Perk; she wrote a new song and plays it for Rachel. Terry, Rachel's boss, calls her over and informs her that Phoebe can't play as planned. Instead, he's hired a professional musician. He makes Rachel tell Phoebe she can't play. Phoebe's upset, so Rachel talks Terry into allowing Phoebe to go on after the pro. Phoebe is excited until she learns she isn't being paid. Phoebe sets up outside Central Perk and plays in protest. Stephanie (Chrissie Hynde, from the Pretenders) is the pro and Phoebe challenges her on her knowledge of the chords. Stephanie knows all the chords, but doesn't have a guitar strap, so Phoebe feels superior. Stephanie is a hit at Central Perk. While Stephanie plays 'Angle of the Morning,' Rachel goes out to see Phoebe and brings her a cup of coffee. Phoebe doesn't enjoy playing for money and decides to play for herself. Phoebe teaches Stephanie 'Smelly Cat.'

• Chandler and Joey use their basketball as a Ben stand-in to make fun of Monica. Joey cries every time Chandler holds the ball close to him...which is why Monica throws it out the window.

• The dreaded Terry is in this episode. Ugh, I hate that man. And not just because he won't let Phoebe play. His voice makes my ears want to shrivel up and die.

• Look! It's Chrissie Hynde!

I always forget she's in this episode and then get really excited...but I'm not entirely sure why I care so much...

• Frank Jr. is here! Only...he's not Frank Jr. He's just some guy who tosses a condom in Phoebe's guitar case and then comes back for it. But still, it's Giovanni Ribisi. He must've run back for the condom really well to get a recurring role.
  

I also really like Phoebe's jacket. It's so--shiny.

• This is the first time Phoebe plays 'Smelly Cat.' Yay!
  

Oh. My. God.

"Is your tongue swelling up?"
"Either that or my mouth is getting smaller." -Monica and Ross, after Ross eats the kiwi.

"And Tegrin spelled backwards is 'Nirget'." -Phoebe's song she wrote in the shower.

"You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?" -Chandler, taking Ben for a walk.

"My--my name is written out in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk." -Phoebe, learning Terry hired a professional to play at Central Perk.

"Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it in my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun." -Ross, showing his fear of needles.

"That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out." -Chandler, after all the women they meet on their walk think he and Joey are gay.

"No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff." -Joey, to the women on the bus.

"We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk."
"You know it?" -Joey and Chandler, to the women on the bus.

"Hey! Hey! I got my S's back!" -Ross, after the swelling goes down.

"Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads."
"What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?" -Joey and Chandler, trying to flip a coin to decide which baby is Ben.

"Stay back, I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!" -Chandler, as he and Joey run from Ross.