Ross: has Emily visiting for London. Emily has to go to the airport soon, though, and Ross wants to fool around a little. They're interrupted by Carol and Susan bringing Ben over. Ross makes the introductions, and being uncomfortable, tells Carol and Susan they have to leave to make it to the airport. Susan mentions that she's going to London for the first time the next week to shoot a commercial. Emily offers to take Susan around the city. Susan mentions she'd like to see a show, and Emily decides they should go together. Ross starts acting nervous and fidgety. Ross comes into Chandler and Joey's later in the week, freaking out because Emily and Susan are really hitting it off. He's worried that there might be something sexual between them. During his freak out, Phoebe interrupts to inform him she doesn't like his name. Ross is even more upset by this and leaves. Carol goes to Ross' to pick Ben up, and Ross talks about his fears. Carol's not worried at all, pointing out that Emily and Susan are both in committed, loving relationships. Ross points out that he and Carol had the same thing when she met Susan. Ross goes on to spin a scenario about what could happen between Emily and Susan. Carol agrees that it's a possibility, and Ross flips out. Ross gets another message from Emily while he's in Central Perk. She's going to a poetry reading with Susan. Now he's certain that Emily's become a lesbian, telling his fears to Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel. They laugh at him, assuring him that Emily's straight. Phoebe points out ever since Carol left Ross, Ross has been a jealous mess. Rachel seconds Phoebe's observation, reminding Ross about the stuff with Mark. Monica agrees with the other two, but Ross doesn't really like their assessment. Monica encourages him not to ruin stuff with Emily because of what happened with Susan. Ross can't let well enough alone where Rachel is concerned, and mentions that he still thinks he was right about Mark. Rachel's not thrilled. Carol and Ross go to the airport together to pick up Susan and Emily. Susan and Emily kiss, and Ross is thrilled that there's no tongue involved.
Phoebe, Chandler, Joey: Phoebe comes into Central Perk with her new musical instrument, a snare drum. She's too big to wear her guitar strap, so she's decided to play all her songs to the drum. While she's exhibiting her drum playing talent, Alice comes in to ask her a favor. Alice and Frank are trying to name the babies. Alice wants to name the girl Leslie and Frank wants to name one of the boys Frank Jr. Jr. Alice thinks it'd be really great if Phoebe could name the other boy, and Phoebe eagerly agrees. Phoebe comes into Chandler and Joey's, still trying to come up with a good name. She has a baby name book with her, but nothing's standing out. Joey makes some suggestions, before saying Phoebe should name the baby Joey. Phoebe likes the idea, but then Chandler chimes in, thinking the baby should be named after him. Chandler and Joey both list the good qualities about their names, but Phoebe isn't sure which to choose;though she does like the idea of naming the baby after someone she loves. When Ross comes in freaking out about Susan and Emily, Phoebe tells him she doesn't like the name Ross for the baby, unintentionally hurting Ross' feelings. Chandler and Joey continue debating the merits of their names; Phoebe tries to come up with a compromise, but it's no good. Joey finally comes out and says that he thinks Chandler is a horrible, stupid name. Chandler is astonished, finally realizing that his name is awful. Chandler's super upset about the name issue, deciding to just go without a first name. Joey points out that'd make Chandler's name just Bing, which is no good. Chandler then decides he just has no name. Phoebe wants to know what they should call him, so they debate names for awhile. Chandler likes Clint, but Phoebe and Joey think Clint's too cool of a name for Chandler. Phoebe decides that Chandler's more of a Gene, and Joey backs her up. Chandler doesn't want to be named Gene, but it sorta sticks. Phoebe is demonstrating a drum roll (not really) to Joey, when Chandler walks in. Chandler wants them to help him pick a name. He's stuck between Mark and John, but Phoebe and Joey think neither of those names fit him. Joey suggests that Barney'd be a good name for Chandler. Chandler doesn't appreciate the joking; he's serious about getting his name changed. He tells them that his name was the cause of all his problems throughout his life. Phoebe gets fed up, yelling at Chandler that his name isn't the issue, those are problems Chandler needs to work out himself. Phoebe tells Chandler his name is wonderful, and that's what she's going to name the baby. Phoebe leaves to tell Frank and Alice her decision, and Chandler celebrates. He wasn't really going to change his name; he did it all to win.
Monica: doesn't have much to do. She makes Rachel dinner for Joshua, but won't pick Rachel's sex outfit. She gives Ross advice while he's worrying that Emily might develop feelings for Susan.
- This ep is way better than the last two. Even with all the Joshua.
- Alice and Frank never call when they come by. How do they know where to find Phoebe?
Do they just automatically check at Central Perk first thing? What would they do if she wasn't there??? It'd probably throw off their entire lives.
- Chandler and Joey have a run of bad Foosball luck. You know it's bad when you can't even win against yourselves. Much as in real life.
- I think Chandler is, like, one of the best names EVER. I fully intend to name the next pets I get Chandler Bing and Mrs. Chanandler Bong. Actually, I'm gonna add Chanoey to this list, too. Really.
- The fact that Chandler just fakes all the name angst is really what makes it work.
You have to admit, it's well played.
- I don't like the name Clint. It sounds too much like clit.
- Oh, Ross. That's really all I can say to this. It's beautifully hilarious that he's so paranoid Emily will cheat on him with Susan.
I didn't realize there was anything inherently lesbionic about poetry readings. Huh.
- Gosh it must be nice living with a professional chef.
- Joshua being afraid of farm birds makes my life. It's so absurd and I hate him to the core of my very soul.
- Y'know that part in The Birds where Tippi Hedren ends up in that room with all the birds pelting her in the face? That's what I want to happen to Joshua, but with farmyard fowl instead of seagulls.
- Rachel's 'dress.'
In her defense, the only part of it that doesn't look like an actual dress is the top. Joshua's dad is quite the creeper. Like father, like son, I guess.
- Ross' paranoid jealous is based on Carol's betrayal. That seems so true, and very sad.
- Ross and Carol check out the same woman at the airport. Awkward? Or awesome?
The Magna Doodle Says:
I think it says the word "working" in a circle with a line through it, but I can't see it well enough to tell.
Oh. My. God.
"Wow! It is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum." -Chandler, to Phoebe, who walks in carrying a drum.
"Oh, well, don't tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus." -Phoebe, to Alice, who asks Phoebe for a favor.
"Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra." -Ross, to Emily, who's worried that Ben will be traumatized by seeing her bra hanging in the shower.
"Oh, he's fine. He's fine. It's just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesn't like me."
"Oh, come on! That's--that's true." -Susan and Ross, explaining their relationship to Emily.
"I want a name that's really like, y'know, strong and confident, y'know? Like Exxon."
"Well, it certainly worked out for that Valdez kid." -Phoebe and Chandler.
"No, I'm--I'm not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with 'the'." -Phoebe, to Joey's suggestion of The Hulk as a name for the baby.
"Well, Chandler will be there for you, too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but--but he'll be there. And he'll bring you cold soda, if what you need him for is that you're really hot." -Chandler, to Phoebe, about why she should name the baby after him.
"Maybe I'll just name him The Hulk."
"I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it! That's what I wanted to name my kid!" -Phoebe and Joey.
"Wow, I really get crabby when I cook." -Rachel, to Monica, who's explaining why she decided to make salmon instead of filet mignon.
"God, Susan is so fun!" -Phoebe, when Ross tells everyone what Susan and Emily are doing together.
"Hey, they're going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Y'know they--they take a steam together, things get a little playful--didn't you see Personal Best?"
"No, but I'm gonna!" -Ross and Joey.
"Hi! Hi! You're crazy!" -Chandler, to Ross, while he's freaking out about Susan and Emily.
"Yeah, I definitely don't like the name Ross."
"What a weird way to kick me when I'm down." -Phoebe and Ross, about baby names.
"Y'know, ugh, never mind! My girlfriend's a lesbian!." -Ross, as he leaves.
"Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if it's like, y'know, Chanoey." -Phoebe, trying to fix the baby name issue.
"All right look, man. I didn't want to bring this up, but Chandler is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! It's not even a name! It's barely even a word, okay?! It's kinda like chandelier, but it's not! All right? It's a stupid, stupid non-name!" -Joey, telling Chandler how he really feels.
"It's just, uh, farm birds really freak me out." -Joshua. Pussy.
"But they're across the hall! I mean, that's two doors away! It would take them a long time to peck their way back over here." -Rachel, trying to comfort Joshua.
"They--they--they can smell fear." Joshua, after hearing the duck quack. Seriously, get a grip.
"Y'know, the kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married." -Ross, to Carol, as he's freaking out about Emily and Susan.
"France sucks!" -Joshua's dad.
"I like her. She seems smart." -Joshua's dad, upon seeing Rachel in her 'dress.'
"Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries." -Joshua's mom, after meeting Rachel. Why can't he buy his own groceries? And $500??? What the eff does he eat?
"Well, we were gonna do that after--I mean next." -Rachel, to Joshua's parents, when they invite Rachel and Joshua out for dinner.
"So you're just Bing?" -Joey, to Chandler, after Chandler decides he has no first name.
"What's up with Gene?" -Joey, to Phoebe, after they decide Chandler should be called Gene.
"No, it's all right, I got nice boobs." -Rachel, after telling Monica and Phoebe about her boob popping out at dinner.
"So?! Poetry? Susan's gay! They're being gay together!" -Ross, sure that Emily's become a lesbian.
"Y'know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian." Rachel, to Ross, after Ross says he still thinks he was right about Mark.
"I was gonna say..." -Ross and Carol, checking out the same woman at the airport.