Rachel: helps Joshua find some clothes again. She fawns all over him, and holds his hands while trying to ascertain his glove size. She gets all flustered after this, running into a mannequin torso in her giddiness. Joshua goes into a dressing room, and Mr. Waltham, Rachel's boss, asks Rachel to take his niece, just in from London, to the opera that evening. Rachel distractedly agrees. Joshua comes back from the fitting room, extending his hands for the gloves Rachel was supposed to get for him. She forgot all about the gloves, thinking Joshua wants to hold hands. It's awkward. Joshua then asks her to come to the opening of a club he's invested in. She eagerly says 'yes,' not realizing that she already promised Mr. Waltham to go to the opera with his niece. Josh leaves, but Mr. Waltham comes back in with the opera tickets, and Rachel realizes her mistake. She goes home, telling the gang about her horrible day, hoping that one of them will volunteer to take Emily to the opera. Monica has to work, Phoebe has her morning sickness at night, Chandler won't leave the house, Joey's gone, so Rachel turns to Ross. Ross refuses, but Rachel begs. Emily comes to the door, and Ross finally agrees to go to the opera with Emily. Emily is soaking wet and unhappy; when Rachel tells her there was a change of plans, Emily freaks out. She was strip searched at the airport, almost run down by a hot dog cart, and Rachel didn't bother to call her about the change in plans. Emily storms off, and Rachel runs after her. The next morning, Rachel tells Monica and Phoebe, that going to the club didn't go so well. Her name was wrong on the list, and another woman took her place. Then, someone else in line tried to steal Rachel's umbrella, and Rachel punched her in the face. She never saw Joshua and is miserable. She goes on the strip club adventure, but whines about Joshua the whole time. He hasn't called to figure out why she didn't show up at the club. Before they go to the strip clubs, Ross calls to say he's in Vermont with Emily. Rachel flips out. When Ross comes home, he thanks Rachel for saying they need to move on; he's doing that with Emily. Rachel's furious, even though she tells Ross she's happy for him.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Monica: Chandler's having a horrible time getting over Kathy. Monica doesn't think Joey should go his fishing trip, but Joey informs Monica that Chandler's still in phase 1. Phase 1 means Chandler mopes around home, wearing the same pair of sweats for days on end. Phase 2 is the phase where Chandler will want to go to strip clubs and get drunk. Joey will be back by that phase, which is all that matters. Chandler sits in his recliner, throwing playing cards into a bowl. Everyone but Joey is grouped around him, encouraging him to get up and have fun. Chandler's content in his chair, planning to spend the rest of his life in said chair, wearing the same pair of sweat pants. Joey comes home quite smelly, and his proximity gets Chandler out of the chair. Chandler finally gets up one morning and gets dressed; he's ready for phase 2. Ross calls to say that he's in Vermont with Emily, and won't be home for a few days. Joey's off shooting his movie. Chandler pulls his pants off, revealing his sweats underneath. Monica and Phoebe don't want him to keep wallowing, so they suggest they go to the strip clubs with him. Chandler's not so keen on the idea, and heads back to bed. Phoebe yells at him, telling him that they're going to the strip club. The strip club going is not a success. Phoebe gets in a fight with a dude because he's smoking. All the girls give the strippers and waitresses fashion advice. They're also super encouraging and positive about the dances. When Chandler suggests calling Kathy; Phoebe says it's a good idea, if he thinks it's the right thing to do. Chandler's upset, because that was a test. They're supposed to talk him out of calling his ex's, especially since he'll want to call Janice when he gets really drunk. Chandler's miserable. They get home, the trip having been a failure. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are the reason the hottest waitress is quitting to teach elementary school. Phoebe apologizes, telling Chandler that girls are just really good at listening, so maybe they should talk. Chandler doesn't feel like talking, he only wants to wallow. The girls all start talking about which dancer they found the most attractive. This conversation helps Chandler reach phase 3, where he's picturing himself with other women. Chandler has a dream about Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe with the dancers. The smoker Phoebe got in a fight with is there as well, as 'Joshua.' Rachel doesn't want to go with him, and 'Joshua' starts hitting on Chandler.
Ross: gets roped into taking Rachel's boss' niece to the opera. He doesn't want to, because he'd be helping Rachel go out with Joshua. Rachel tells Ross they need to move on and be happy for one another. Ross decides to take Emily. Emily doesn't make a great first impression, but she and Ross end up hitting it off. Ross calls from a bed and breakfast in Vermont. He and Emily decided to go on the spur of the moment. He tells Monica, who answers, what a great person Emily is; she's really quite nice in dry clothes. Rachel's furious. When Ross comes home, he tells everyone how great Emily is, and how much he likes her. Rachel comes back from the restroom, and Ross thanks her for encouraging him to move on. Rachel hits him on the arm pretty hard.
- Oh, sad Chandler! It may be wrong, but I totally love it.
- The phases 1) wearing the same sweat pants for days; not leaving a certain chair/room/house. 2) going to strip club; drinking copiously. 3) picturing yourself with other people 4) never having a relationship; having sex with strippers and friends.
- I'm so utterly, horribly sick of Joshua and this is only the second episode he's in. Freaking stupid, Joshua.
- Why's he back, anyway? Last episode he says bye, pretty much for, y'know, good. Yet here he is, with his funny pouffy hair and his stupid name.
- Oooo!! Emily!! I love fourth season Emily! She's awesome, y'know, until Ross says the wrong name at their wedding. But up 'til then, she's totally great. Also, I love people with accents.
- Why is throwing playing cards into open objects a popular past time with them? I don't get it, much like the concept of a frozen grape.
- The girls at the strip club is hilarious. Chandler should've known never to agree to that. I'm actually surprised Rachel goes; that really doesn't seem like her thing. Monica likes to do crazy things every once and awhile, and Phoebe's pretty much a loose cannon, but not Rachel.
- I guess it's novel that Charlton Heston's in this one. I'm not a Heston fan, so I don't care much.
- Chandler's dream sequence is amazing. Really. I'm all about Chandler's creation of the smoking guy into Joshua.
- Uh, so I had pictures all ready, and everything, and this morning when I came to post, they were gone. Sadness. And then blogger was down. It's been quite a day, y'all. Sorry for the delay!
Oh. My. God.
"You don't have to stop having fun just because I'm here. Kathy didn't cheat on all of you...Well, except you." -Chandler, to the gang, when he emerges from his room.
"You're into hardcore S&M, right?" -Joshua, after he asks Rachel to the club opening.
"This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Y'know the, 'wouldn't it be great if she was my wife.,' Rachel." -Rachel, on why she wants to go to the club opening and see Joshua.
"No, Chandler's still in phase one, and Joey's that thing you smell." -Monica, to Rachel, when Rachel's looking for someone to take Emily to the opera.
"Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you can't see people through that little hole, can you?" -Monica, watching Emily through the peephole.
"Apparently to you people, I look like someone who's got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum!" -Emily, having been strip searched at the airport.
"Yeah, run ten blocks. That'll help the smell." -Monica, to Joey, as he's running late to work.
"But then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her." -Rachel, explaining her night at the club.
"Honey, that's your name."
"That's short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!" -Phoebe and Rachel, having a slight miscommunication.
"Maybe she doesn't hit him all the time." -Chandler, to Rachel, when Ross calls from the B n' B.
"I've gotta go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!" -Ross, also Emily and Monica, during his phone conversation with Monica.
"You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and wouldn't live as long." -Chandler, when Monica and Phoebe want to be guys and go the strip club.
"Okay, I've got some ones, you wanna put them in her panties?"
"No thanks, Mom!" -Monica and Chandler, at the strip club.
"Put some pants on kid, so I can kick your butt." -Charlton Heston, to Joey.
"And do you know what girls are really good at?"
"Stripping!" -Phoebe and Chandler, after the failed strip club trip.
"Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean, when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh..."
"Phase three! I just achieved phase three!" -Rachel and Chandler.
"Where I don't want to have a relationship ever! I just wanna have sex with strippers and my friends!!" -Chandler, explaining phase four.
"There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over." -Chandler, comforting Joey after he doesn't get to go to the strip club.