TOW: the Dollhouse

Monica and Phoebe: Ross tells Monica that their Aunt Sylvia passed away. Instead of being upset, Monica is positively giddy. Aunt Sylvia wasn't a nice woman, but she also had a much coveted dollhouse. Monica was never allowed to play with the dollhouse as a child, but now that Sylvia's dead, the dollhouse goes to her. Phoebe's excited by the news, too, because she never had a dollhouse as a child. Monica checks out all the features of the dollhouse. Phoebe comes in with a bag full of dollhouse stuff. The bag's filled with random stuff, like a giant ceramic dog, a hankie (it's a ghost), and a dinosaur toy. Phoebe's also decided that the dollhouse was built on radioactive waste and an Indian burial ground. Monica doesn't like any of the stuff Phoebe brought, or the story Phoebe made up about the house. Monica basically tells Phoebe she can't play with the dollhouse. The next time Phoebe comes over, she brings her own homemade dollhouse. Rachel and Ross love her dollhouse, and stop paying attention to Monica's. Monica tries to awe them with a newly purchased china cabinet, but it's not as awesome as the licorice or aroma rooms in Phoebe's dollhouse. Phoebe's dollhouse burns in a tragic aroma room disaster. A giraffe and pirate were rescued, but, tragically, the foster puppets didn't survive.

Chandler and Rachel: Chandler takes Rachel out to lunch, and walks her back to her office. He's hoping to see some women in lingerie; Rachel gives him a catalog. Rachel's boss, Joanna (Alison La Placa), comes in and meets Chandler. When he leaves, Joanna asks Rachel all about him; Joanna thinks Chandler's hot. Rachel agrees to talk to Chandler about Joanna. Chandler's receptive to the idea of going on a date with Joanna. Chandler has an awful time on the date. Joanna's really boring. Joanna, however, had a great time and expects Chandler to call her. Chandler doesn't call and Rachel confronts him about it. Chandler did tell Joanna he'd call her, but he didn't really have any intention of doing so. Joanna bugs Rachel at work about why Chandler hasn't called yet. Joanna threatens to fire Rachel. Rachel finds Chandler in Central Perk and forces him to call Joanna. He agrees to go on a short lunch date with Joanna and properly end things with her. Chandler and Joanna come back to Joanna's office after their date. Rachel gives Chandler dirty looks so he remembers to end things with Joanna. He ends up saying he'll call Joanna and starts to leave. Rachel grabs him and physically forces him to tell Joanna the truth. He does really well, explaining he has commitment issues and apologizing. Then, he tells her he'll call her.

Joey: is really upset about the situation with Kate. He's never been in a position where a girl he likes doesn't like him back. At the next rehearsal, Joey tries to talk to Kate, but the director/ Kate's boyfriend (Reg Rogers) interrupts. Kate's understudy, Lauren (Jennifer Milmore) , introduces herself and flirts with Joey. She asks Joey for coffee, and Joey agrees after watching Kate kiss the director. The director is a huge, pretentious douche. At another rehearsal, the director interrupts a scene to take a phone call. He's really rude to the actors. Joey criticizes Kate for dating him, and Kate criticizes him for dating Lauren. The director comes back and says the play and the actors are horrible; he ends rehearsals for the night. Joey and Kate are talking when Lauren comes up to ask Joey to hang out with her for the evening. Joey declines, saying he wants to work on the play. He and Kate discuss the scene they were having trouble with. Kate says the scene lacked heat and Joey agrees. They discuss what the characters need to do to one another to convey their need. They end up sleeping together. Joey is ecstatic the next morning, running over to tell Monica and Ross about his night. He really cares about Kate, and they're pleased for him. Joey talks to Kate at rehearsal, telling her he broke things off the Lauren. Kate has no intention of ending her relationship with the director. She indicates that Joey just has stronger feelings for her, then she has for him. Kate points out that Joey probably slept with a lot of women that really cared about him, but he didn't feel the same way. Joey calls the women he's dated to apologize for hurting them.

Ross: brings Monica the news that Aunt Sylvia died. He's also very excited by Phoebe's dollhouse. He comes over to Monica and Rachel's one afternoon, while Monica is in the shower. He smells something funny and realizes that Phoebe's dollhouse has caught fire. He tries to douse the flames with water from the sink, but it doesn't go well. He ends up running the dollhouse into the bathroom and putting in the shower with Monica (she's not too happy).

• A friend of mine and I bought one of those Fischer-Price dollhouses because of this episode. We'd save our money about buy furniture packages and stuff. It's a wonder I ever graduated college.
  

• Monica's a big meanie. Yeah, I totally called her a meanie. She's such a grouch about Phoebe's dollhouse contributions.
  

If Phoebe wants a giant dog, a dinosaur, and a ghost, then by God, she can have 'em! I totes agree that every dollhouse has to have a ghost.
Also, Monica's a hypocrite, complaining that Aunt Sylvia never let her play and doing the same thing to Phoebe.

• Phoebe wins the day, though, with this masterpiece

It comes fully equipped with a licorice room (tootsie roll-away-bed included), an aroma room, and bubbles!!!
Epic.

• I like seeing Joey struggling with having real feelings for a woman, but I hate Kate. She's a snooty bitch.
  

• The stuff with Joanna and Chandler is mildly amusing. It's better when there's bondage, though.
  

• It's quite a tragedy when Phoebe's dollhouse burns down. Gotta be careful about that aroma room.

Oh. My. God

"Oh, it's so great to see you feeling like this!" -Phoebe, to Joey, who's discussing his unrequited feelings for Kate.

"Oh, she was a cruel, crank, old bitch! And I'm sorry she died." -Monica, after learning that Aunt Sylvia died.

"Thanks, it's, uh, Gaelic, for 'thy turkey's done'." -Chandler, to Joanna, when they're introduced.

"HARDWOOD FLOORS!!!" -Monica, as she's inspecting her dollhouse.

"That's a dog. Every house should have a dog."
"Not one that can pee on the roof." -Phoebe and Monica, as Phoebe shows Monica the ceramic dog she brought for the dollhouse.

"And is this in case the house sneezes?" -Chandler, to Phoebe, after finding a handkerchief in the stuff Phoebe brought.

"Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen." -Monica, to Phoebe, about Phoebe's dollhouse back story.

"Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan Man." -Chandler, to Rachel, upon learning that Joanna likes him.

"Come dinosaur, we're not welcome in the house of no imagination." -Phoebe, after Monica says her stuff is not wanted in the dollhouse.

"Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject, I just have to say, dinosaurs, they--they don't go rrroooofff." -Ross, correcting Phoebe's dinosaur noises.

"This is the coolest house ever!!!" -Ross, inspecting Phoebe's dollhouse.

"Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull, dud!" -Chandler, to Rachel, about his date.

"Maybe he could slip her the tongue." -Joey, to Kate, about how to make one of their scenes hotter.

"Multiple, so many paper cuts!" -Chandler, to Rachel, when she rips a magazine out of his hands.

"By the way, I was just checking the shower massager." -Monica, to Ross, after Ross barges in on Monica showering.

TOW: the Tiny T-Shirt

Ross and Rachel: Gunther waits on Rachel in Central Perk; the entire time he considers asking her out, but doesn't make a move. Mark meets Rachel there and asks her out. Gunther storms out and we hear him break a cup. Rachel talks to Phoebe about Mark's offer, but she's not sure she's ready to date. She still feels like dating Mark would be like cheating on Ross. Phoebe tells Rachel she's not over Ross yet and has issues with her dad. Ross goes to Chandler and Joey's, bragging about how Rachel asked him to come over. He thinks they're getting back together. He goes to Monica and Rachel's and Rachel gives him a box of his stuff. He's surprised, but acts like Rachel's right when she says they need to move on from each other. He looks through the box and notices a coffee mug he gave Rachel as a gift; he's angry she's giving it to him. They argue about it; Rachel offers to take it, but Ross won't give it to her. Ross gets mad and says that all of his stuff isn't in the box. He goes through the apartment and takes everything that belongs to him, including Rachel's favorite sleep shirt, an old "Frankie Say RELAX" shirt of Ross's. Rachel's furious he takes her favorite shirt, knowing he's only doing it out of spite. Ross puts it on to prove that he likes it and can wear it. It's skin tight and several inches too short, showing his tummy. Chandler and Ross head to Chandler's, on their way to the the apartment they pass Rachel and Mark going on a date. Ross is heartbroken. He stands at Chandler's peephole for hours, waiting for Rachel and Mark to get home, and obsessing over whether or not they'll kiss. Rachel and Mark come home, but go into the apartment. Ross flips out, planning to go over to Monica and Rachel's and interrupt. Chandler keeps him from going, convincing him that Rachel's moving on and he needs to, as well. Mark kisses Rachel, but Rachel can't get into it. She tells Mark she only dated him to get back at Ross. Mark says he's okay with being what she uses to get back at Ross (he's joking...mostly). Rachel declines the offer. Rachel comes home from work and Monica tells her Ross left her a box of her stuff. Rachel expected Ross to react like that, but she's surprised and pleased when she finds the "Frankie say" t-shirt in the box.

Joey: comes into Monica and Rachel's, doing a little cheer. Apparently, he got the lead role in a play and is quite excited. Joey goes to the first rehearsal and hits on his co-star, Kate (Dina Meyer); she's not interested. She thinks Joey's familiar, but can't place him. It's not from his stint as Dr. Drake Ramoray, but she mocks him from being a soap actor. Kate finally realizes she knows Joey from the milk spout infomercial. She makes fun of him. Joey complains to the gang about Kate. She told the whole cast about his milk infomercial. They now ask Joey to open their drinks and laugh at him. At another rehearsal, Kate asks the director why her character's supposed to be attracted to Joey. Joey retaliates. Joey storms into the apartment, pissed at Kate. She thinks she's friggin' awesome because she went to Yale Drama. Chandler points out that Joey's attracted to her. The next rehearsal, Joey kisses her deeply when they run a scene. The kiss causes her to change her view of Joey. He asks her out for coffee, but she's dating the director.

Monica: continues dating Pete, though she's still not attracted to him. They come home from a date and she quickly kisses him on the cheek and goes inside. She talks to the gang about how perfect Pete is, but that she still isn't attracted to him at all. Pete hangs out with everyone in Central Perk; they bug him about being a millionaire. When he leaves, instead of kissing him, Monica fluffs his hair. She complains to the gang that Pete is a wonderful guy, pretty much perfect for her, but she doesn't really feel a connection. She goes to a ribbon cutting ceremony at a hospital with Pete. He asks her where their relationship is going. She attempts to avoid the real issue, but ends up telling him she's just not attracted to him. He takes it pretty well because he's sure she'll change her mind. He asks her to leave the ribbon cutting and go get dinner with him. He quickly cuts the ribbon and they leave.

Chandler and Phoebe: Phoebe talks to Rachel about her issues with Mark and Ross. Chandler jumps on Ross's back to keep him from interrupting Mark and Rachel. He also tells Ross it's time to move on. Chandler talks to Joey about the rude actress, and is the first to figure out that Joey's attracted to her. He and Phoebe have a long conversation about why Spider-Man is named Spider-Man, and not Spiderman, like a last name. At the the end, Phoebe and Chandler are at his place, in the recliners. They're making superheroes out of people with last names that end in 'man.' They use Goldman and Tupperman. Then they have a recliner duel. It's epic.

• Ross acts like it's all Rachel's fault they're not together anymore. He talks about the "crazy fog" having lifted after she asks him to come over. Get over yourself, Ross.
  

• The tiny t-shirt

Ross sure has some nice arms for a paleontologist. Maybe it's lifting all those giant bones?

• Ross effing loses it when Rachel goes out with Mark. I can understand why he freaks out, it's sorta his worst fear coming true, but he's also totally unreasonable about it.
  

Chandler finally freaking calls Ross out on his hypocrisy. Ross is upset that Rachel's dating so soon after they broke up, and Chandler has to remind him that he slept with another woman three hours after Ross thought he and Rachel broke up. Yes, Chandler has to remind him of that.

• I love Pete, but I care very little about Pete and Monica in this episode. I do think it's nice that Monica's obviously not after Pete for his money. Oh, and Joey's stuff is funny, but I'm not that interested.
  

• Phoebe and Chandler are WONDERFUL.

The Spider-Man, Spiderman, conversation is the most randomly amazing thing EVER. And, uh, the have a recliner duel. A. Recliner. Duel.
Brilliant.

Because.

Oh. My. God.

"I gave you a key for emergencies!"
"We were out of Doritos." -Monica and Phoebe, when Monica finds Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler hanging out in her apartment.

"Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately." -Chandler, after Ross calls Pete 'Mr. Millionaire.'

"Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommy, oh daddy, I am a big old baddie!" -Joey's song, when he gets the part in the play.

" Yeah, either that or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you." -Chandler, on why Joey was singing and dancing.

"Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realizes that life without me sucks." -Ross, pondering the reasons Rachel wanted to see him.

"What, like, Petetakota?"
"Yeah, or, or, or MississiPete." -Pete and Phoebe, thinking up names for the state Pete's going to buy.

"Okay, I'm running out of places I can touch him!" -Monica, having fluffed Pete's hair before he left.

"Y'know uh, I--I don't know why my character likes you either. I mean, it says in the script here that you're a bitch."
"It doesn't say that in the script."
"It does in mine!" -Joey and Kate, after Kate questions her character's attraction to Joey's.

"You bug me." -Ross, to Chandler complaining about his cowlick.

"You can't just stare through the peephole for three hours! You're gonna get peep-eye!" -Chandler, to Ross, who's trying to spy on Rachel and Mark.

"You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower!" -Chandler, to Ross's complaining about Rachel dating Mark.

"And the inventor of doors rests happily in his grave." -Chandler, to Ross, who's freaking out because he can't see Rachel and Mark anymore.

"And unless you're thinking about subletting my peephole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over!" -Chandler, to Ross.

"Is it just me or does 'subletting my peephole' sound kind of dirty?" -Chandler.

"I can just go home and get back at him by myself." -Mark, to Rachel, after she shot down his idea about getting back at Ross on the couch.

"Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I'm gonna say, midget rodeo." -Monica, to Pete, after he asks her where they are.

"She thinks she's like the greatest actress since--since, sliced bread!"
"Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady Macbeth." -Joey and Chandler, talking about Kate.

"No, it's not like--like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there's no Gold Man." -Chandler, explaining to Phoebe that Spider-Man isn't his last name.

TOW: the Hypnosis Tape

Chandler: started smoking again in TO: Without the Ski Trip. He continues smoking here, much to everyone's chagrin. Chandler's scolded by Gunther as he walks into Central Perk with a cigarette. Chandler doesn't want to put it out and Gunther agrees as long as he can have a drag. Chandler gives him the whole thing. Chandler sits down with everyone and pulls out another cigarette. Rachel pulls it out of his mouth and throws it away. They do this a couple of times, before Chandler gets sick of it. Rachel gives him hypnosis tapes that helped a co-worker stop smoking. Chandler agrees to try it, with little hope it'll work. That night, Chandler listens to the hypnosis tape while he's sleeping. The tape is geared specifically to women. The more Chandler listens to the tapes, the more he starts acting like a woman. He comes into Monica and Rachel's for chap-stick and tells Rachel her blouse is 'stunning.' He puts the chap-stick on like it's lipstick, even blotting it with a tissue. Chandler goes to play basketball and notices Joey's keys still in the door. He throws them to Joey over-hand and sloppy, a stereotypically girlie throw. He comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and one turbaned on top of his head. When Pete comes to pick up Monica he gives her advice like one of her girlfriends would. Chandler's sleeping one night when the voice on the tape changes. It's Joey, asking Chandler to make him cheese sandwiches and buy him hundreds of pairs of pants. Chandler wakes up. The good news, Chandler does stop smoking.

Phoebe: gets a surprise visit from Frank Jr. at Central Perk. Frank's really excited because he's getting married. Phoebe's mostly excited until Frank introduces his fiancee, Alice (Debra Jo Rupp), a middle-aged high school Home Ec. teacher. Phoebe tries to act supportive, especially since Frank is confiding in her, hoping she'll understand, unlike his mom. She becomes even more concerned when Frank and Alice talk about starting a family right away, but she doesn't say anything. She talks to Ross and Joey about her fears regarding Frank Jr.'s marriage. She wants to talk some sense into Frank, but isn't sure how. Instead, she asks Ross and Joey to do it. They reluctantly agree, but it doesn't go well. Phoebe learns that Ross and Joey are now part of the wedding party, so she decides to take matters into her own hands. She asks Alice over about a Home Ec. disaster, a marinara sauce stained white, lace tablecloth. She then tells Alice not to marry Frank. Phoebe comes home to a dark apartment, thinking she's alone. Frank Jr. is on her couch and scares her. Frank tells her how horrible his day was because Alice called off the wedding. He tells Phoebe how happy Alice made him, how she made all the awful stuff in his life not so bad. Phoebe tells him what she did and Frank is furious. He won't talk to her, so Phoebe brings Alice in to explain why their relationship wouldn't have worked out. Alice does pretty well at first, but then she and Frank end up making out on Phoebe's couch. Phoebe gives up and leaves.

Monica: is working one day when she asks Rachel to fix her up with someone. At the same time, she walks over to see if a frequent customer, Pete (Jon Favreau), needs anything else. Pete has a huge crush on her and asks her out all the time, but Monica always says no. Later that evening, Monica and Rachel argue about why Monica should date Pete. Monica isn't really attracted to him and doesn't want to lead him on. Rachel thinks it's only one date and Monica should just go for it. Chandler comes over for chap-stick and Rachel tells him how Pete wrote Monica a check for a $20,000 tip. Monica shows him the check and Chandler realizes that Pete is a millionaire, who invented really popular office place software. Monica goes to Pete's office to confront him about the check; she thinks he's trying to buy a date with her. Pete tells her that isn't the case, that he really likes her and thinks she likes him. She agrees to go out on one date with him. Everyone's really excited to meet the millionaire, but Monica keeps introduction brief. Pete says they're going out for pizza. They go to Italy. Like, really the country, not Little Italy or anything. The date seems to go well.

Rachel: is disgusted by Chandler's smoking and gives him the hypnosis tapes. Ross makes fun of her for advocating something as dumb as hypnosis. She says that he was hypnotized in Atlantic City, so he shouldn't make fun of it. Ross acts like it wasn't a big deal. She also really wants Monica to date Pete. Not just because he's a millionaire, but because he seems to really like Monica. And she thinks the $20,000 check is cute.

Ross and Joey: end up having to talk to Frank about not settling down with Alice so young. It goes really well until Frank says it's important to meet someone you really love and he has that with Alice. Ross says he had that with Rachel, but blew it. Joey wishes he had that. Instead of talking Frank out of marriage, they all think it's a great idea. Joey's going to be Frank's Best Man and Ross's supposed to be the Ring Bearer. Joey gets up to use the bathroom late one night and hears Chandler's hypnosis tape. He changes it.

• Monica and Joey practice their fake laughs. Monica's reminds me of Roseanne's. Like, Roseanne's laugh that was on the end of the opening credits. Which is kinda funny because Roseanne really hated Friends.
  

• The age difference between Frank and Alice doesn't bother me.
  

But she looks so much like a middle-aged soccer mom that watching her make out with Frank Jr. is just creepy. She should be serving cookies and going to church potlucks.
Also, you gotta wonder if they started doing it when Frank was still her student and under age.

• I heart the hypnosis tape. I say "I'm a strong, confidant woman" all the time. But, like, there's also this:

And this:

Chandler really manages to pull that look off.

• I get that Phoebe's trying to stop her brother from making a mistake, but despite being creeped out by the kissing, I think Frank and Alice are kinda adorable.

And not being with Alice makes him do this. Weird and sad.

• So, Jon Favreau plays Pete. I, for really no reason at all, love Jon Favreau. I sorta wish he'd lasted longer. Stupid, Ultimate Fighting Championship. Monica has the best boyfriends. He freaking takes her to Italy. ITALY.
  

• Out of all the things Joey could've asked for on the hypnosis tape, why freaking cheese sandwiches and pants? Not, like, all the money in your bank account?
  

• I'm irritated by them repeating gags. I know in a show with this many episodes, some things will happen twice, but it bugs me. In this episode, Ross hands Rachel a cup of some coffee like substance, but she didn't want cinnamon. Ross just scoops it out with his fingers. Monica and Chandler do the same thing in TOW: the Race Car Bed.

Oh. My. God

"Oh, dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit." -Gunther, taking a drag from Chandler's cigarette.

"Okay, that's like the least fun game ever." -Chandler, to Rachel, when she keeps taking his cigarette.

" Nope, that patch is no good." -Chandler, trying to use the hypnosis tape as a nicotine patch.

"Y'know, I would've bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married." -Chandler, about Frank's upcoming wedding.

"Yeah, or--or to get a hooker."
"Always illegal, Joey." -Joey and Chandler, talking about Frank Jr. being too young to drink at his own bachelor party.

"If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?" -Chandler, watching Alice and Frank kiss.

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem I mean, I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men." -Rachel, to Monica, after Monica asks Rachel to hook her up with someone.

"No, no. Oh, I'm fine with the age thing, y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat!" -Phoebe, to Ross and Joey, about Alice and Frank.

"Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around." -Chandler, about his briefcase.

"This is your time y'know? Yeah, you're young, you're--you're weird, chicks dig that." -Ross, to Frank Jr, on why he shouldn't marry Alice.

"You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania." -Monica, to Pete, after he gives her the $20,000 check.

"Yeah, if the best is, like, unbelievable pain!" -Frank, to Phoebe, when Alice ends their relationship.

"My mother didn't want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch." -Frank, to Phoebe, discussing his mom's reaction to learning about Alice.

TO: Without the Ski Trip

Ross and Rachel breaking up didn't do good things for the group.

Ross: fights with Rachel every time they're in the same room. The others try to keep them apart as much as possible, but it doesn't go well. Ross invites the gang (except Rachel) to hang out with him to see his new home entertainment system. At Ross's, he thanks everyone for being there for him, then asks if they want to spend the weekend watching movies and playing darts. He learns about the ski trip and is really upset that everyone's abandoning him. They all offer to stay, but Ross decides he doesn't want a pity stay. As the others leave for the weekend, he goes to Carol's to talk. Carol is preparing a romantic dinner for her and Susan to celebrate an anniversary. She tries to be nice, but just wants Ross to leave. Ross starts in on the break up story. His pager goes off, but he doesn't recognize the number. It's Phoebe, calling from a rest area where her grandma's cab ran out of gas. Ross doesn't want to help because they all left him to go skiing, but Carol intervenes. Ross told Carol that Rachel fell in love with Mark, leaving out any mention of his sleeping with Chloe. Phoebe tells Carol the truth and Carol's disgusted with Ross. To get him to leave, Carol lets Ross use her car to go find his friends. Ross shows up and Rachel is less than thrilled. They fight. Ross says that Monica agrees with him about he and Rachel being on a break, so it's okay that he slept with Chloe. Monica says that isn't exactly what she meant. Ross says Joey agrees with him. Joey plays dumb. Finally, Phoebe intervenes and gets Ross and Rachel to agree to try and get along. They all go their separate ways, but Carol's car won't start. Ross shows up at Carol's again. Carol answers the door in her bathrobe. Ross wants to talk about how he replaced her car battery and what happened with his friends. Since Carol's busy, she kinda pushes him out the door and shuts it in his face.

Rachel: can't get along with Ross. She goes to Joey and Chandler's when everyone (but Ross) is eating dinner. She invites them to the Calvin Klein lingerie show, but they can't go because they promised to spend that evening with Ross. Rachel handles it pretty well and leaves. She comes back a few minutes later to invite everyone to her sister's ski cabin for the weekend. Everyone's really excited and they agree to the plan. The trip goes pretty well at first, until they go to the rest stop. Rachel doesn't like to go in public restrooms, so she decides to stay in the cab. When everyone else gets out, she decides to as well, but inadvertently locks the keys in the cab, which is still running. Monica and Phoebe want to call Ross when the cab runs out of gas, but Rachel refuses to accept that as a solution. When Ross shows up, she's furious and she and Ross fight. Ross drags Monica and Joey into it and Rachel confronts them. The others feel bad that Ross isn't able to come skiing with them, even though he came to help them with the car. Rachel refuses to let him come and they fight some more. Phoebe breaks it up. Ross says the others should go on their trip and not worry about him.

Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey: aren't taking the breakup well. It's put a huge strain on the group. They try to keep Rachel and Ross separated, but it doesn't work out. Every time the two are in the same room, they argue. While everyone (but Ross and Rachel) have dinner at Chandler and Joey's, they see that Chandler's started smoking again. He's taken the breakup really hard because it reminds him of his parents divorce. He's not interested in giving smoking up. They try really hard to do stuff with Rachel and Ross, but they have to say no to Rachel's lingerie show invite and no to Ross's weekend of movie watching. Ross is really upset and they try to comfort him, but he's not really interested in being anything but wounded. On the drive to the ski cabin, Chandler wants to smoke, but Phoebe won't let him. He says he needs to go to the bathroom and that they should pull over at the next rest area. Joey ends up really needing to use the bathroom. They pull over and Rachel locks the keys in the still running car. Joey can get the door open, he just needs a long wire. He asks one of the girls for their underwire from their bra. No one wants to give up their bra, but Phoebe finally does. Joey unlocks the door and they continue their adventure. They go a few inches and the car stalls because it's out of gas. Phoebe calls Triple A, but no one knows where exactly they are, so Triple A can't help them. Monica and Phoebe want to call Ross, but Rachel refuses to be in a car with him. Phoebe sneaks and calls him anyway. Monica distracts Rachel by pointing out the one cent tampons in the restroom. Chandler and Joey try to walk to the highway looking for help, but Chandler collapses because he smokes too much. When Ross shows up and he and Rachel start fighting, Chandler looses it. Phoebe yells at Ross and Rachel to stop, pointing out what's happening to Chandler. Phoebe says that Ross and Rachel have to get along and stop putting everyone else in the middle. She says that if they don't get along, they won't all be able to hang out anymore. Ross and Rachel agree to try to get along.

• I like and dislike this episode all at the same time. It's very confusing.
  

• The aftermath of the breakup is handled nicely, and, I think, realistically. Rachel is furious with Ross for going to bed with Chloe. Ross is enraged that Rachel won't agree they were on a break, so he wasn't actually cheating. It puts a significant strain on the group, which is somehow good to see. It wouldn't be as true to life if everyone acted like nothing'd happened between Ross and Rachel.
  

• Why I hate this episode:

He's a self-righteous prick.

• When Rachel learns her friends can't go to the Calvin Klein lingerie show, she's disappointed, but handles it with class. Ross just about goes to effing pieces when he learns about the ski trip. He's mad at everyone for leaving him, like they aren't Rachel's friends, too. I think the real issue is that he expects them all to side with him, and basically cut Rachel off. Whatever, Ross. Grow up.

• The stress of all the fighting makes Chandler take up smoking again.

It's really quite sad.

• I get that Ross is really hurting, but he completely disregards the fact that Carol has plans.
  

And eats the food Carol makes for Susan.

• I can't believe Ross tells Carol that Rachel feel in love with Mark! That's so far from the truth it's jaw dropping. And he never mentions that he slept with someone else. I'm guessing it's because he knows it was wrong he slept with Chloe and he doesn't want Carol to side with Rachel. Which she does.
  

• In fairness, Rachel is quite unreasonable, too. When the cab runs out of gas, the best solution is to call Ross. If they'd have done it in the first place, the issue would've been solved much faster.
  

• Poor Chandler

He totally loses it when Ross and Rachel fight at the rest area. He does a running-in-place, dance...thing. Apparently, it's an impression of Shelly Winters in The Poseidon Adventure. Oookay.

• I gave Phoebe a mental standing ovation when she finally calls Ross and Rachel out on their behavior. I always kinda see it as being more of Ross's fault than Rachel's. Ross is the one who drags Monica and Joey into the fight. He also makes the ski trip a choose-between-me-and-Rachel situation, when it really isn't.
  

• This episode is titled TO: Without the Ski Trip, but I'm pretty sure they do still go. Maybe it's called this because we don't get to see the trip? I don't know.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts." -Chandler, comparing Ross and Rachel's breakup to his parent's divorce.

"Closer than here?" -Rachel, to Monica, who wants to leave Central Perk when Rachel wants coffee.

"Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm--I'm smoking still." -Chandler, explaining his smoking.

"I'm tellin' ya something, that first smoke after nap time..." -Chandler, who started smoking when he was nine.

"Him? Him, Ross?"
"Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes are on the Sparrow!" -Phoebe and Chandler. I totally didn't get Chandler's reply, because I didn't realize he was saying hymn. Heh.

"No! We're gonna have fun! We can make fudge!" -Monica, talking about staying home from the ski trip to be with Ross.

"What does the sign say?"
"Beam me up, Jesus." -Phoebe and Chandler, when Chandler tries to smoke in the cab.

"Oh, I do! Oh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning."
"So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?" -Chandler and Monica, after Chandler sarcastically replies to Joey's request for a hanger.

"Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us." -Chandler, to Phoebe, after being scolded for littering.

"Then why are you answering?" -Phoebe, to Monica, when Monica tries to guess what town they're near.

"I have the lung capacity of a two year old." -Chandler, after collapsing on the way to the highway.

"We were on a break!" -Ross, to Carol, when she learns he slept with someone else.

"You slept with another woman?"
"Oh, you're--you're--you're one to talk." -Carol and Ross. He does have a point.

"What's 'pleh'?
"That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!"
"Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards?" -Monica and Joey, when Joey forms the word 'help' out of twigs.

"Oh no! Now it's not gonna make any sense!" -Chandler, to Joey, after Ross walks through Joey's stick sign.

"Y'know what, I can handle it. Handle's my middle name. Actually, it's the uh, middle part of my first name." -Chandler, letting the others know he can take Ross and Rachel's arguing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?" -Rachel, to Ross.

"I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventures." -Chandler, explaining his strange dance thing.

TOW: the Morning After

For a recap of TOW: Ross and Rachel take a break click here.

Ross and Rachel: Rachel tells Monica that she and Ross broke up, but that she wants to get back together with Ross. Ross wakes up, thinking he's alone. He rolls over to go back to sleep, but Chloe comes out of the bathroom. Ross is hung over and listening to his messages. Rachel called to tell Ross that she doesn't want to break up; she wants to get back together, but not over an answering machine. She tells Ross she'll come by his apartment around 8:30 am. It's almost time for her to show up, but Chloe is still there. Ross hurries Chloe along, but she's lost a shoe. He searches frantically for it, explaining that Rachel is coming by. He finds the shoe, hands it to Chloe, attempts to shoo her outside, but when he opens the door Rachel is there. Ross hides Chloe behind the door and makes up with Rachel. Ross goes to Chandler and Joey's and tells them about sleeping with Chloe. Ross plans to tell Rachel, but Joey and Chandler convince him that's a bad idea. Joey then brings up the "trail" of people from Chloe to Rachel, who may tell Rachel about Ross sleeping with Chloe. Chandler thinks he figures out the trail and Ross goes to take care of it. Ross talks to Chloe, Issac (the dude from the copy place), and Jasmine (Issac's sister who works with Phoebe). But Jasmine told her roommate about Ross and Chloe. Her roommate is Gunther. Ross hurries to Central Perk to ask Gunther not to tell, but he already has. Rachel is sitting in the window seat very upset. Ross follows her back up to the apartment, apologizing. Rachel doesn't want to hear it. They get in a huge fight. Ross says he wants to talk and Rachel asks him about his night with Chloe. He says all the wrong things. Rachel starts hitting him with a newspaper. She learns Chloe was still in his apartment when she came by in the morning. She hits him some more. Ross brings up that they were on a break, and for all he knew it was a break up. Ross then lets slip that he tried to keep Rachel form finding out. Ross says he thought she was with Mark, and they discuss that for quite awhile. Ross finally says that it'd bother him if she'd slept with Mark, but that he'd still want to be with her. Rachel orders a pizza. Ross asks for no anchovies; Rachel asks for extra anchovies. Ross says she bailed when things got tough, but admits he was wrong for sleeping with Chloe. He starts kissing Rachel and she almost responds, but then pushes him away. Rachel tells him to leave. Ross begs her not to end their relationship. Rachel says she sees him differently now that he slept with someone else. She thinks it's changed everything about them. She falls asleep on the couch after Ross leaves.

Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe: Chandler and Joey convince Ross not to tell Rachel about Chloe. They also tell Ross about the trail and try to help him get rid of said trail. Monica is under the impression that Ross and Rachel are getting back together. She and Phoebe decide to try a new leg waxing thing Monica bought from an infomercial. The wax isn't supposed to hurt. They go into Monica's room and wax up. They discover that the painless wax does, indeed, hurt. They pull each others wax strips off and scream. Chandler and Joey run in with weapons, thinking Monica and Phoebe are being attacked. Joey laughs at them for saying the wax hurts. Phoebe puts some wax and a strip on Joey's arm and yanks. It hurts. During this, Ross and Rachel come in and are fighting. Someone shuts Monica's bedroom door, so Ross and Rachel have no idea they're in the apartment. Joey and Chandler get in trouble for not telling about Ross sleeping with Chloe. When Ross tells about sex with Chloe, Joey and Chandler commentate on all the wrong things he says. All of them wonder if they should help Ross when Rachel starts hitting him with a newspaper. Joey wants to leave because he's hungry. Chandler seconds Joey's suggestion, but Monica doesn't think it'd be a good idea. Ross lets slip that he tried to get to people before they told Rachel. Rachel freaks out, and Ross says he didn't tell her because of Chandler and Joey's advice. Chandler decides they shouldn't leave the room. Joey is starving and wants pizza when Ross and Rachel order it. Phoebe suggests they eat the organic leg wax. Phoebe has to call and cancel a massage appointment because she's stuck in the room. They all eat the leg wax. They discuss Ross and Rachel's chances of survival, but Monica wonders what'll happen if they break up. Joey starts talking about needing a new walk. They listen to Ross and Rachel fight more. Monica is a little miffed that it's 3am and Ross and Rachel aren't concerned about where she is. When Ross and Rachel break up, Monica and Phoebe are crying; Joey and Chandler are close to tears. They finally leave the room when they haven't heard anything from Ross or Rachel for awhile. Rachel is asleep on the couch. They all sneak out, but Monica covers her up with an afghan.

• I missed seeing this shirt while watching TOW: Ross and Rachel take a Break. It's pretty bad though.
  

The color and design kinda reminds me of snake skin.

• Let's get the 'were they on a break' thing out of the way. Yes, you were on a break, Ross. But you still shouldn't have slept with someone else. To me, Ross uses the break as an excuse to keep from admitting that he was wrong to sleep with Chloe. BUT, in Ross's defense, there was never a discussion of what the break entailed. So, it's true that for all he knew, they could've been breaking up. He still shouldn't have hopped in the sack with Chloe, though. If my significant other ever did this to me, I'd react much the same as Rachel.

• I find Issac to be a pretty disgusting character. "Monogamy is too cruel a rule" my ass.
  

Pigeons could nest in that hair.

• Chandler decides the trail is Chloe to Issac and Issac to his sister, Jasmine, who works with Phoebe.
  
  

Jasmine is the co-worker Frank Jr. groped, thinking she was a hooker.

• To add some levity to the seriousness of Ross and Rachel's relationship falling apart, we have this:

Joey and Chandler think Phoebe and Monica are being attacked. I think it's a pretty creative way to get them all stuck in the room together for Ross and Rachel's fight.

• I've never felt the need to wax and I think it's because this episode. It looks so painful! Even Joey whimpers.

• Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are stuck in Monica's bedroom for hours.
  

They decide to eat the organic leg wax. Yummy?

• The end for Ross and Rachel.

I cry every single time. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

• I love this episode. It's one of my most favorites, even though it's incredibly sad. The heavy emotional stuff is punctuated nicely with the humor from the people stuck in the bedroom. I don't think I'd be able to watch this episode if it wasn't for the eating of the leg wax and Joey's new walk.
  

Oh. My. God.
"That's okay, this is more important than fruit on my ceiling!" -Monica, to Rachel, after exploding her smoothie when Rachel tells her she and Ross broke up.

"Yes. Yes I am, one of the many things I'm feeling." -Ross, to Chloe, talking about how happy he is and trying to get her out of the apartment.

"Hey, why are you mopping the ceiling?"
"Oh, there's banana on it." -Phoebe and Monica, because of Monica's cleaning habits.

"Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!" -Monica, to Phoebe, about the wonders of Waxine.

"Alright, look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for." -Chandler, to Ross, about when to tell Rachel about Chloe.

"That's because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid!" -Monica, to Phoebe, about the ladies in the Waxine commercial.

"Oh, hey, man I know, doesn't matter how much we love 'em monogamy is too cruel a rule." -Issac, to Ross, about why he won't tell Rachel.

"We were just waxing our legs."
"Off?!?!" -Monica and Chandler, when the guys burst in after hearing the girls scream.

"A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in?! Her purse?!"
"Wh-where did he put it?" -Rachel, to Ross, and Phoebe, to the others trapped in the bedroom.

"He has sex and we get hit on our heads." -Chandler, to Joey, when Monica smacks them for not telling about Ross and Chloe.

"Nobody likes change." -Ross, to Rachel, after she asks if sex with Chloe was good.

"Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!" -Rachel, to Ross, when he explains he thought they were breaking up.

"Oh great, food with hair on it."
"No, not the used wax."
"Because that would be crazy?" -Chandler and Phoebe, about eating the organic leg wax.

"Well, I should think so. You slept with someone." -Rachel, after Ross tells her she can have the last piece of pizza.

"Are you actually saying these words?" -Chandler, to Joey, when Joey talks about getting a new walk.

"Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean..."
"Then how come it is?" -Ross and Rachel, ending their relationship.

"Maybe she killed him?" -Joey, after Rachel and Ross've been quiet for awhile.

"Is that your new walk?" -Chandler, to Joey, who's tiptoeing out of the apartment.

TOW: Ross and Rachel take a Break

Ross and Rachel: Ross comes into Monica and Rachel's, looking for Rachel. Monica tells Ross that Rachel's still at work and wants Ross to call her. Ross's upset because it's their anniversary. He calls and Rachel says they're having a huge shipping crisis at work and she won't be able to leave any time soon. Ross wants to come by and see her, but Rachel says he can't because she doesn't have time. Ross shows up at Rachel's office with a picnic. He's setting everything up, but Rachel's telling him she doesn't have time to stop. She's on the phone with a vendor trying to figure out where a shipment went wrong. Ross accidentally sets some flowers on fire. Rachel tells Ross to go home and runs off to do her job. Ross leaves. Rachel comes home with a ton of work. Ross tells her it's okay she got angry because she was stressed. Rachel was hoping for an apology. They get in a huge argument. Rachel's upset that Ross didn't listen when she said she didn't have time. Ross is upset that he hardly ever sees her anymore and feels like he has a relationship with her answering machine. Ross says she spends too much time worrying about her job, and then makes the mistake of bringing up Mark. Rachel freaks out and suggests they take a break. Ross thinks she means from the argument, but she meant a break from their relationship. Ross leaves and meets up with Chandler and Joey at the club with the hot copy place girl, Chloe (Angela Featherstone). Rachel is at home, waiting for Ross to call. The phone rings, but it's Mark. He can tell Rachel's upset, so he decides to come over. Chandler and Joey convince Ross to call Rachel. Rachel tells Mark about the fight. She says she doesn't really want to take a break from her relationship with Ross. Ross calls and things are going okay, until Ross hears Mark talking in the background. He hangs up on Rachel. Chloe won't leave Ross alone, asking if he wants to dance and having a drink with him. Chloe makes Ross dance with her. Rachel calls Ross, but obviously there's no answer. Chloe kisses Ross and Ross ends up kissing her back.

Joey and Chandler: go to the copy place to stare at Chloe. Chloe's co-worker points out that Chandler and Joey have a thing for her. While they're talking to Chloe, she invites them to a club where her co-worker is DJ-ing. They sorta think she's asking them for a threesome at first and they don't know how to feel about that. They're really excited to hang out with Chloe, but they end up discussing the threesome thing. They lay ground rules in case it actually happens. At the club, they listen to Chloe talk about advances in copying technology; they're really bored. Ross comes in and Chloe's really excited to see him. They tell Ross to call Rachel and patch things up with her. They end up dancing together trying to get Chloe's attention.

Monica and Phoebe: Phoebe barges into Monica and Rachel's looking for an atlas. She has a date with a diplomat she met while giving free massages at the U.N. She doesn't know where the diplomat's country is. Monica says she doesn't have an atlas, but she does have a globe. A teeny, tiny pencil-sharpener globe. Phoebe has her first date with Sergei (Jim Pirri), the diplomat. It goes pretty well, even though Sergei doesn't speak any English, until the end of the evening. Sergei's interpreter, Mischa (Stephen Kearney), keeps getting in the way when Phoebe and Sergei want to kiss. Phoebe tells Monica about the date and the issue with the interpreter. Phoebe wants Monica to double-date and distract the interpreter. Monica ends up really hitting it off with Mischa. Mischa doesn't do his duties as translator, being too busy talking to Monica. Phoebe and Sergei can't talk at all. Phoebe tells Monica to back off, but Monica's having a good time and doesn't want to. Sergei scolds Mischa and Mischa quits. He and Monica leave to go to the Rainbow Room. Phoebe and Sergei sing "American Pie" in Central Perk.

• So many things to say about this episode!
  

• We've heard and heard about the hot copy place girl with the belly button ring. This, my friends, is the hot girl.
  

I'm gonna say right off the bat, I don't think she's that hot. She's not highly unfortunate looking or anything, but still. She's sorta got a waif, elf-y thing going. She's very thin and pointy. It's not a bad thing, but I don't think it makes her look particularly appealing. Also, I've looked a couple times, maybe I'm just missing it, but I'm not seeing a belly button ring.

• The Wedding Singer is one of my favorite movies. I've seen it more times than I can count. I was probably destined to never like Chloe because the same actress plays Linda. You know, the woman who ditches Adam Sandler on the day of their wedding. Every time I see this woman I think, "Aunt Linda, you a bitch."
  

• I get why Ross is upset this time. Really, I do. But y'know that if Rachel ever tried to bring him a picnic when he was having a dinosaur emergency, he'd flip the eff out.
  

And if Rachel accidentally set fire to a Neanderthal mannequin, y'know Ross's head would explode. So what's with the double standard? It really bothers me that Ross doesn't take Rachel's job seriously.

• Chandler and Joey are really bored by Chloe, yet they spend most of the episode trying to sleep with her. I honestly don't get how men can be with someone who's boring or a bitch, just because she's hot. I'd think it'd get old really fast. It boggles my mind.
  

• Phoebe, Sergei, and Mischa

It's like the casting director got confused about which was the diplomat and which the interpreter. Mischa is very distinguished and mature, but Sergei's like a male model. As such, he's not very believable as a diplomat.

• There are several things I'd like to say about Ross and Chloe, but I think I'm gonna wait until the next episode.
  

• Chandler and Joey try to lay down threesome ground rules. The only one they come up with is to keep their eyes open at all times. Uh, at least they plan ahead.
  

• Phoebe and Sergei sing "American Pie."

Oh. My. God.
" Wow! You might just get the first Nobel Prize in rubbing." -Monica, to Phoebe when Phoebe explains the free massages at the U.N.

"It's a globe and a pencil sharpener!" -Monica, handing Phoebe the tiny globe.

"Oh, that's my doodle of a ladybug with a top hat. She's fancy." Monica, to Ross and Phoebe.

"Hold it! HOLD IT! What if my eyes are closed, and--and my hand is out there..." -Chandler, while he and Joey lay down ground rules.

"Yeah, I guess, but what's, like, heads and what's tails?"
"Well, if you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you." -Joey and Chandler, discussing threesome placement.

"Yeah, but I got Couscous!!" -Ross, to Rachel about his picnic.

"You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!" -Rachel, to Ross.

"No. A break from us." -Rachel, to Ross.

"Hey, it's the dinosaur guy!" -Chloe, to Joey and Chandler about Ross.

"And now, anytime anybody wants 400, we just say 'let's Ross it!'" -Chloe, on how Ross is her hero.

"Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!" -Chandler, to Ross, about calling Rachel.

"I just hope you--hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it." -Phoebe, after giving Monica a tissue.

"My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy can't even say coupons." -Monica, to Phoebe.

TOW: Phoebe's ex-Partner

Phoebe: watches a new girl play at Central Perk. Phoebe resents the new girl and the fact that the gang really seems to like her. The girl announces a new song, which is about Phoebe. It turns out that Leslie (Elizabeth Daily)is Phoebe's ex singing partner. Leslie wants to get back with Phoebe, but Phoebe isn't interested. Leslie left her to write commercial jingles and Phoebe's never forgiven her. Monica and Phoebe are hanging out at Monica's, using an Ouija board. Phoebe's pager keeps going off. Finally, Phoebe puts it in a pot and puts the pot in the oven. Leslie won't stop calling her and Phoebe doesn't want to talk to her. Leslie and Phoebe had been friends since childhood and Leslie abandoned her. After awhile, Leslie stops paging Phoebe and Phoebe gets upset. Monica tells Phoebe to go ahead and call Leslie, since she obviously wants to. Phoebe is still reluctant, though, because Leslie hurt her so badly. Leslie is in Central Perk singing, "Sticky Shoes" and Phoebe joins her. Later on, Phoebe teaches Leslie "Smelly Cat." Leslie thinks it'd be a great song for a cat litter commercial, but Phoebe says she isn't interested. They're supposed to play together in Central Perk, but Leslie is running late. She's late because she went to play "Smelly Cat" for the ad-executives she worked for. They loved it and want to use it in an ad, but Phoebe isn't interested. She gives Leslie an ultimatum, she can have "Smelly Cat," but Phoebe won't be her partner. Joey, Monica, and Phoebe watch a cat litter ad that uses "Smelly Cat." Phoebe plays Joey and Monica a new song about Leslie.

Ross and Rachel: Ross visits Rachel at work. They're supposed to go to dinner, but Rachel says she has to come back to work afterward. Mark quit and she has to pick up the slack. Ross is pretty excited that Mark is quitting, but as Mark leaves he says "see you Saturday," to Rachel. Later that night, in bed, Ross brings up Mark's comment. Rachel tells him that she and Mark are going to a fashion lecture. Ross doesn't like that she's still seeing Mark, even though they no longer work together. Rachel tells Ross that she likes spending time with Mark because he enjoys fashion. Ross says he wants to go to the lecture with her. Ross is really bored at the lecture and won't leave Rachel alone. He falls asleep and startles himself awake. When they get home from the lecture they fight about Ross falling asleep. Rachel points out that she went to boring paleontology lectures for Ross and never fell asleep. Ross finally tells her that he feels like he's losing her because he doesn't share this part of her life. Rachel tells him it's okay if he's not in every aspect of her life.

Chandler and Joey: Chandler has to go to the restroom at Central Perk. It's occupied. A woman comes out of the men's restroom. She's attractive and Chandler opts not to go to the bathroom to flirt with her. Her name is Ginger (Sherilyn Fenn). As Ginger leaves Central Perk she sees Joey. Joey attempts to hide from her. The next day, Joey comes in to Monica and Rachel's looking for Chandler. Monica and Phoebe tell Joey that Chandler is with Ginger. Joey gets upset because he knows Ginger will tell Chandler what he did. Monica and Phoebe want to know what Joey did to Ginger, but he doesn't want to tell them. They convince him to. Joey dated Ginger for awhile. They went away to a cabin for the weekend. It was going really well until they went to bed for the night. Joey woke up cold and threw another log on the fire. Only it wasn't a log. It was Ginger's artificial leg. Instead of dealing with the problem, Joey ran away. Chandler and Ginger are on a date and sharing their first kiss. Ginger's standing in a puddle and tells Chandler about her leg. Monica comes by Joey and Chandler's to borrow some milk. She talks to Chandler about Ginger, trying to find out if Chandler knows about the leg and Joey. Chandler does. He tells Monica that the fake leg sorta creeps him out and he feels bad. Joey comes out of his room and they talk about the leg burning. Ginger and Chandler have dinner at the apartment. She asks if the leg really bothers Chandler. Chandler says he's fine with it. They start kissing and Ginger unbuttons his shirt. She discovers the nubbin. It freaks her out and she leaves. Chandler has the nubbin removed, but then thinks that he's lost his comedic powers.

Monica: helps Phoebe with her problems with Leslie. She also talks to Joey and Chandler about Ginger and the fake leg.

• I still can't get my pictures to upload. Damn it.

• I knew Elizabeth Daily did voice work for some cartoon, but I couldn't remember which. She's the voice of Tommy Pickles from Rugrats! I'm really, really excited about that. I don't know why. She's also very Suzanne Somers from Three's Company to me.

• Ross is really ridiculous this episode. Although, I'm highly amused by the Jurassic Parka thing. I'd probably go see that movie. Just sayin.

• Oh, oh, Joey and the artificial leg. It makes me hurt it's so funny. They call it the "leg burning" which sounds like the title of a bad horror film. Just like Jurassic Parka.
  

• I'm not a fan of Ginger. I mean, Joey throwing her leg in the fire is horrible, but she's not particularly endearing.
  

• Phoebe's jingle bitch song reminds me of people I used to know. I sing it whenever I think of them. It will also be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
  

• Nubbin, we barely knew thee. You'll be sorely missed.
  

• Anybody watch Will and Grace? There's that episode where Grace has the mole on her face frozen and it grows, but she dumps a guy who has six toes because it creeps her out. The nubbin thing is like that, only I kinda like the nubbin thing better. Except for when Grace talks about the tumor, "It had mini-teeth and mini-hair and when they poked it, it said 'ow.'" That's just all kinds of awesome.

• I'm truly bothered by this, I'm not even kidding. Was Rachel a slut in high school or not? The obvious joke Chandler should've made was about Rachel being easy in high school. Let's get our stories straight, people! She either was or she wasn't!
  

• The Mark jealousy stuff is coming to a head in the next two episodes. We all know what that means... "We were on a break!!!" Prepare yourselves.
  

Oh. My. God.
"Okay, see, see everyone else is happy she's done." -Phoebe, as customers in Central Perk applaud Leslie.

"All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again, I'd like to know whether that's several big fish or just one big fish." -Chandler, while Leslie and Phoebe are talking.

"This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called 'wait until the last moment before I burst and die'." -Chandler, to Gunther while waiting for the restroom.

"Y'know those are a delicacy in India." -Monica, to Phoebe after Phoebe puts the pager in the oven.

"Well, that's the best kiss I've had with anyone I've ever met in a men's room." -Chandler, to Ginger after their first kiss.

"Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?" -Rachel, to Ross after he asks if she really needs other friends.

"I mean, for all you know I could be a fashion...monger." -Ross, explaining to Rachel why he wants to go to the lecture.

"Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps." -Monica, to Phoebe who is waiting for her pager to go off.

"Okay, well if I was in this for the money, I'd be a millionaire by now, y'know." -Phoebe, telling Leslie she's not interested in writing jingles.

"Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half-and-half, stole my car." -Chandler, to Monica after she says her milk's gone bad.

"Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do. I wonder how many people would go see a movie called Jurassic Parka?" -Ross, making fun of Rachel's profession.

"No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island." -Ross, expanding his Jurassic Parka theme.

"Jingle bitch screwed me over! Go to hell jingle whore! Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell-ell-ell." -Phoebe's new song.

"Oh yes! Just had me a little nubbin-ectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting."
"Wow! It's like Rachel in high school." -Chandler and Monica, after the nubbin removal.

"That was an obvious joke, and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done?!" -Chandler, thinking the nubbin removal also removed his comedic ability.