TOW: Ross and Rachel take a Break

Ross and Rachel: Ross comes into Monica and Rachel's, looking for Rachel. Monica tells Ross that Rachel's still at work and wants Ross to call her. Ross's upset because it's their anniversary. He calls and Rachel says they're having a huge shipping crisis at work and she won't be able to leave any time soon. Ross wants to come by and see her, but Rachel says he can't because she doesn't have time. Ross shows up at Rachel's office with a picnic. He's setting everything up, but Rachel's telling him she doesn't have time to stop. She's on the phone with a vendor trying to figure out where a shipment went wrong. Ross accidentally sets some flowers on fire. Rachel tells Ross to go home and runs off to do her job. Ross leaves. Rachel comes home with a ton of work. Ross tells her it's okay she got angry because she was stressed. Rachel was hoping for an apology. They get in a huge argument. Rachel's upset that Ross didn't listen when she said she didn't have time. Ross is upset that he hardly ever sees her anymore and feels like he has a relationship with her answering machine. Ross says she spends too much time worrying about her job, and then makes the mistake of bringing up Mark. Rachel freaks out and suggests they take a break. Ross thinks she means from the argument, but she meant a break from their relationship. Ross leaves and meets up with Chandler and Joey at the club with the hot copy place girl, Chloe (Angela Featherstone). Rachel is at home, waiting for Ross to call. The phone rings, but it's Mark. He can tell Rachel's upset, so he decides to come over. Chandler and Joey convince Ross to call Rachel. Rachel tells Mark about the fight. She says she doesn't really want to take a break from her relationship with Ross. Ross calls and things are going okay, until Ross hears Mark talking in the background. He hangs up on Rachel. Chloe won't leave Ross alone, asking if he wants to dance and having a drink with him. Chloe makes Ross dance with her. Rachel calls Ross, but obviously there's no answer. Chloe kisses Ross and Ross ends up kissing her back.

Joey and Chandler: go to the copy place to stare at Chloe. Chloe's co-worker points out that Chandler and Joey have a thing for her. While they're talking to Chloe, she invites them to a club where her co-worker is DJ-ing. They sorta think she's asking them for a threesome at first and they don't know how to feel about that. They're really excited to hang out with Chloe, but they end up discussing the threesome thing. They lay ground rules in case it actually happens. At the club, they listen to Chloe talk about advances in copying technology; they're really bored. Ross comes in and Chloe's really excited to see him. They tell Ross to call Rachel and patch things up with her. They end up dancing together trying to get Chloe's attention.

Monica and Phoebe: Phoebe barges into Monica and Rachel's looking for an atlas. She has a date with a diplomat she met while giving free massages at the U.N. She doesn't know where the diplomat's country is. Monica says she doesn't have an atlas, but she does have a globe. A teeny, tiny pencil-sharpener globe. Phoebe has her first date with Sergei (Jim Pirri), the diplomat. It goes pretty well, even though Sergei doesn't speak any English, until the end of the evening. Sergei's interpreter, Mischa (Stephen Kearney), keeps getting in the way when Phoebe and Sergei want to kiss. Phoebe tells Monica about the date and the issue with the interpreter. Phoebe wants Monica to double-date and distract the interpreter. Monica ends up really hitting it off with Mischa. Mischa doesn't do his duties as translator, being too busy talking to Monica. Phoebe and Sergei can't talk at all. Phoebe tells Monica to back off, but Monica's having a good time and doesn't want to. Sergei scolds Mischa and Mischa quits. He and Monica leave to go to the Rainbow Room. Phoebe and Sergei sing "American Pie" in Central Perk.

• So many things to say about this episode!
  

• We've heard and heard about the hot copy place girl with the belly button ring. This, my friends, is the hot girl.
  

I'm gonna say right off the bat, I don't think she's that hot. She's not highly unfortunate looking or anything, but still. She's sorta got a waif, elf-y thing going. She's very thin and pointy. It's not a bad thing, but I don't think it makes her look particularly appealing. Also, I've looked a couple times, maybe I'm just missing it, but I'm not seeing a belly button ring.

• The Wedding Singer is one of my favorite movies. I've seen it more times than I can count. I was probably destined to never like Chloe because the same actress plays Linda. You know, the woman who ditches Adam Sandler on the day of their wedding. Every time I see this woman I think, "Aunt Linda, you a bitch."
  

• I get why Ross is upset this time. Really, I do. But y'know that if Rachel ever tried to bring him a picnic when he was having a dinosaur emergency, he'd flip the eff out.
  

And if Rachel accidentally set fire to a Neanderthal mannequin, y'know Ross's head would explode. So what's with the double standard? It really bothers me that Ross doesn't take Rachel's job seriously.

• Chandler and Joey are really bored by Chloe, yet they spend most of the episode trying to sleep with her. I honestly don't get how men can be with someone who's boring or a bitch, just because she's hot. I'd think it'd get old really fast. It boggles my mind.
  

• Phoebe, Sergei, and Mischa

It's like the casting director got confused about which was the diplomat and which the interpreter. Mischa is very distinguished and mature, but Sergei's like a male model. As such, he's not very believable as a diplomat.

• There are several things I'd like to say about Ross and Chloe, but I think I'm gonna wait until the next episode.
  

• Chandler and Joey try to lay down threesome ground rules. The only one they come up with is to keep their eyes open at all times. Uh, at least they plan ahead.
  

• Phoebe and Sergei sing "American Pie."

Oh. My. God.
" Wow! You might just get the first Nobel Prize in rubbing." -Monica, to Phoebe when Phoebe explains the free massages at the U.N.

"It's a globe and a pencil sharpener!" -Monica, handing Phoebe the tiny globe.

"Oh, that's my doodle of a ladybug with a top hat. She's fancy." Monica, to Ross and Phoebe.

"Hold it! HOLD IT! What if my eyes are closed, and--and my hand is out there..." -Chandler, while he and Joey lay down ground rules.

"Yeah, I guess, but what's, like, heads and what's tails?"
"Well, if you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you." -Joey and Chandler, discussing threesome placement.

"Yeah, but I got Couscous!!" -Ross, to Rachel about his picnic.

"You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody's work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!" -Rachel, to Ross.

"No. A break from us." -Rachel, to Ross.

"Hey, it's the dinosaur guy!" -Chloe, to Joey and Chandler about Ross.

"And now, anytime anybody wants 400, we just say 'let's Ross it!'" -Chloe, on how Ross is her hero.

"Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!" -Chandler, to Ross, about calling Rachel.

"I just hope you--hope you don't accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it." -Phoebe, after giving Monica a tissue.

"My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy can't even say coupons." -Monica, to Phoebe.

TOW: all the Jealousy

Ross and Rachel: Rachel gets ready for her first day at work. She's really frantic and worried about what she's going to wear. Ross thinks she'll feel better if he takes her out to lunch, but Rachel says she's already going out with Mark. Ross is jealous again. He goes to Chandler and Joey's, complaining about Rachel's relationship with Mark. Mark is helping Rachel at work when her phone rings. Mark answers and it's Ross. Ross is upset that Mark's answering Rachel's phone. Rachel tells him that she and Mark work together, they're both Joanna's assistants. Rachel makes a mistake and has to hang up, but before she can she hears Ross repeatedly slamming the phone down. Rachel has a ton of gifts from Ross on her desk. Mark comments that Ross obviously wants everyone to know Rachel's unavailable. Rachel acts likes it no big deal, but then a barbershop quartet comes arrives. Ross and Rachel argue about all the gifts. Ross acts like he's just doing it to be nice, but Rachel knows that's not the reason. She's talked to Mark about Ross's behavior. Ross talks to Chandler and Joey in Central Perk and they tell him he needs to chill out about Mark. They think Mark is waiting to hit on Rachel. He wants to become the person Rachel confides in; Chandler and Joey think that Mark will take advantage of any problems Ross and Rachel have and make a move on Rachel. Mark is dating a woman at work. They're kissing in Mark and Rachel's office. Ross overhears Mark talking to his girlfriend and thinks Mark is talking to Rachel. Ross storms in and yells at Mark before he realizes Mark isn't kissing Rachel. Ross tries to play down his actions, but it doesn't work. Rachel and Chandler are at Central Perk talking about a bachelor party that Chandler and Ross attended. Ross comes in and he and Rachel discuss the jealousy and make up. Ross has to leave because he's set up a play date for Ben. The mother of the other little boy is the stripper from the bachelor party. Ross wants Rachel to get jealous, but Rachel pretends it's no big deal. She ends up chasing after Ross admitting her jealousy.

Joey: has an audition for a Broadway musical version of A Tale of Two Cities. He doesn't know that A Tale of Two Cities is a novel by Charles Dickens. Joey does really well at the audition and gets a callback. The director reminds Joey to bring his jazz shoes for the dance audition. Joey's surprised there's dancing, but the director assures Joey that he'll be fine, having such a strong dance background. Chandler and Phoebe look at Joey's resume, where Joey's listed years of intensive dance training. They ask Joey if he can dance at all and Joey says of course he can. He demonstrates some typical white guy dance moves. Chandler and Phoebe are horrified. He goes to the dance audition and when he arrives the director asks him to show the dancers the steps. The choreographer couldn't make it and Joey's the only other person with enough experience. The director runs through the moves with Joey and Joey pretends to get them. The director wants to run through the dance. Everyone does some of Joey's dance moves. The director is horrified and tells Joey to show everyone how it's done. Joey runs away.

Monica: is really attracted to a guy at work, Julio. A co-worker leaves early so that Monica and Julio can have some alone time. Monica and Julio discuss what Julio's reading (some Baudelaire). Julio is also a poet. They discuss his poetry and Julio kisses her. After a date with Julio, Monica comes into Chandler and Joey's to tell them (and Phoebe) how great Julio is. She says that while they were fooling around, Julio stopped to write a poem. She took the poem, which is about an empty vase, and has them read it. Joey's a really slow reader, so she leaves for work without learning what they think of the poem. Phoebe comes over while Monica wraps a vase to give to Julio. Phoebe hugs her. At work that night, Monica confronts Julio about calling her an empty vase. Julio says the poem isn't about her. Monica feels better until Julio says the poem's about all American women. Monica has the barbershop quartet come to the diner and sing about how horrible Julio is.

Chandler: has to help plan a bachelor party for a cousin. He asks Ross to go with him because the cousin doesn't have many friends. Chandler has to hire the stripper. After the party, Chandler plays with one of those pens with a dressed, then naked woman.

Phoebe: is the first to figure out that the empty vase poem is about Monica. She isn't sure if she wants to tell Monica, but she ends up explaining when she sees Monica wrapping the vase.

• More fun jealousy, which I've already discussed. I thought Ross felt better after her talk with Monica? Whatever.
  

• It's just one of the best things ever that Joey doesn't know what A Tale of Two Cities is.
  

• So, Julio...

Is sorta hot, I guess. Monica thinks he's so smart and awesome, but seriously, he's a busboy in a diner. I mean, I know there are really smart, talented people in dead end jobs, but puh-lease. Julio thinks he's just the best thing in the world ever. But no.

• I'm all for getting gifts from your significant other at work.
  

But this is pushing it just a little. I sorta want that stuffed bug, though.

• Endless fun with a barbershop quartet.

Barbershop quartets always make me think of The Music Man. Anyway, a selection of their songs:
For Rachel: "Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before your the boss. And you know who will be there to support you? Your one and only boyfriend (It's nice to have a boyfriend) Your loyal, loving boyfriend Ross...Ross!"

For Julio: "Mister Pretension, you think there's no one finger, well your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner. You're no God's gift to women, that's all in your head. You are just a butt-munch (No one like's a butt-munch) And you're also bad in bed."
The Julio one is my favorite.

• Chandler is so amused by the pen he gets at the bachelor party. It's one of those that has a woman dressed in business clothes, but when you click it she's naked. And Chandler thinks his cousin's a geek.

• Joey dances.
  

Gah, I hate when people disable the embedding feature on youtube. Click for more Joey dancing fun!

Oh. My. God.

"Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as you're wearing that towel dress." -Chandler, responding to Rachel's question about her shoes.

"Y'know, botanists are such geeks."
"Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?" -Ross and Chandler, about Chandler's botanist cousin.

"It must take you forever to find your keys." -Chandler, when Phoebe comes in with several purses.

"Well, if the magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right." -Chandler, after Phoebe suggests they get a magician instead of a stripper for the bachelor party.

"Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it." -Monica, after Julio kisses her.

"Three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!" -Chandler, reading Joey's dance background off his resume

"Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?" -Joey, learning the stripper's name is Crystal Chandelier.

"It's from Ross. It's a love bug." -Rachel, showing Mark a stuffed lady bug.

"Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean, you might as well have just come in and peed all around my desk!" -Rachel, yelling at Ross after all the gifts and barbershop quartet.

"Well, why don't you send her a musical bug? Oh, no you already did that." -Chandler, giving Ross advice on the Mark issue.

"It's, uh, step-ity, step and jazz hands." -Joey, trying to do the dance steps at the audition.

"Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?" -Chandler, playing with his naked lady pen.

"Yeah. Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper." -Chandler, after Rachel kisses Ross before he gets Ben for the play date.

TOW: Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister

Chandler and Joey: Chandler sees Janice and her husband ice skating. It really upsets him how happy they look together. At Joey's party, he does a ton of Jello shot and gets completely wasted. He comes into Monica and Rachel's the next day with a horrible hangover. Joey isn't there and he tells everyone else that he made out with one of Joey's sisters, only he doesn't remember which. The gang is horrified, but they get all the sisters confused, too. Joey storms into Monica and Rachel's and demands to talk to Chandler. Joey's sister called, telling him about her time with Chandler. The sister feels pretty seriously about Chandler and Joey's worried about Chandler's motives. Chandler says that the sister, Mary Angela, is not just a rebound from Janice. Chandler still doesn't know which sister is Mary Angela. Chandler writes a letter breaking off his relationship with Mary Angela. Ross tells him he can't end the relationship with a letter. Chandler goes to Joey's parents' house to talk to Mary Angela, but Joey answers the door. Chandler keeps it together, asking to see Mary Angela. Joey shows Chandler into the dining room, where all the sisters are sitting. Chandler has an awkward dinner with Joey's family. He keeps asking Mary Angela questions, to figure out which sister she is, but the grandma keeps answering. Finally, the sister sitting by Chandler tells him to excuse himself from the table. He does and this sister kisses him. He thinks she's Mary Angela, but she isn't--she's Mary Therese (Mimi Lieber). He asks which one is Mary Angela and Mary Angela (Holly Gagnier) is standing in the doorway to hear. Mary Angela calls Joey in and all the sisters come. Mary Angela tells Joey what happened. The sisters want Joey to hit Chandler, but Joey won't. Chandler apologizes and promises to never do anything like that again. Joey accepts, but wants Chandler to apologize to Mary Angela. Chandler can't remember which is Mary Angela. Another sister, Cookie, punches Chandler.

Rachel and Ross: Rachel can't stand her job with Fortunata Fashions. Her boss, Mr. Kaplan (Shelley Berman) says he has a special, fashion related, task for her. He wants her to organize a closet jammed with hangers. Rachel goes to Monica's diner and complains about her job. She wants to quit, but doesn't feel that she can. There's a man sitting at the counter while Rachel bitches to Monica. During Rachel's story, the man laughs. Rachel gets really offended and brushes him off. Until he tells her he works at Bloomingdale's, they're hiring, and he can get her in for an interview. Rachel shares her news with Ross, who far from being excited, is upset. He thinks this guy, Mark (Steven Eckholdt) , wants to sleep with Rachel. He can't stop talking about how Mark's only motivation is sex. Rachel ignores him. She waits all weekend for Mark to call, but by Sunday night he hasn't. Per Monica's advice, Rachel calls Mark (she has his home number). Ross is upset, but tries to pretend it's no big deal. Mark tells Rachel that she got the interview and it's scheduled for the next day. Mark also offered to take Rachel to lunch and prep her for the interview. Rachel runs off to the apartment to pick out her clothes. Ross yells at Monica for suggesting Rachel call Mark. Monica tells Ross to grow up. Ross waits for Rachel after her interview. She tells Ross that it went really well and she feels good about it. Mark comes out of the elevator and tells Rachel she got the job. Rachel hugs Mark and not Ross.

Monica: is having a problem with the upstairs neighbor (so is Rachel). He took the carpet up and now they can hear everything he does. She thinks Mark is hot and tells Ross. She and Rachel are hanging out at home when they hear the guy upstairs fooling around with Phoebe. They both rush out and end up in Central Perk. Ross is there and this is when Monica tells Rachel to just call Mark. When Ross gets up set at her for her suggestion, Monica says that Ross should be happy for Rachel and not jealous. Just because Mark may want Rachel doesn't mean Rachel feels the same way.

Phoebe: decides to go talk to the loud upstairs guy, even though Monica and Rachel have and he's just too charming. Phoebe goes up with guns blazing, but the guy proves too charming for her as well. So charming, in fact, that at Joey's party, Phoebe tells Monica she'll be going on a date with him. Monica and Rachel hear how well Phoebe's date goes (extremely well). Phoebe feels really good about how things are going between her and the loud guy. That is until everyone hears the guy having sex with another woman. Phoebe's upset and the guys decide to go up and confront the loud guy. The confrontation doesn't go well, the guy upstairs is just too damn charming.

• I like the idea behind Chandler not remembering which sister, but this episode is a little unexciting. Everything is really good, including Phoebe and the guy upstairs and Rachel's job, but...eh.

• Rachel's fashion related project

Maybe "No more wire hangers, EVER!!!" isn't such a bad policy.

• I have several things to say about Ross, Rachel, and Mark. As a seriously jealous person, I get where Ross is coming from. But as a seriously jealous person who knows that her jealousy is ridiculous, I think Ross is being an idiot. Rachel never shows a hint of interest in Mark. Ross's whole issue is that Mark may be interested in Rachel, and so the eff what. Monica's right when she tells him to grow up.
  

This is Mark. He's hot, I guess, but not that great. He looks really smarmy.

• I'm not defending Chandler, what he did was pretty bad, but can you blame him?

They all have rather large dark hair and they all wear shades of red. Unless you knew them incredibly well, you'd get them confused.

• This is the sister who kisses Chandler at dinner.

But she's not Mary Angela, she's Mary Therese. The actress kinda reminds me of Minnie Driver.

• Mary Therese bothers me. She kisses Chandler, but freaks out when Chandler doesn't know which sister is Mary Angela. So it's okay to make out with a guy your sister likes?
  

• And this is Mary Angela

Her fuzzy slippers are awesome. For one of Joey's sisters, she looks almost frumpy.

• Joey thinks he can do magic.
  

Oh.My. God.

"Ah, somebody's at the door on the ceiling." -Ross, hearing the loud guy walking upstairs.

"I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them." -Chandler, after seeing Janice and her husband.

"Stick out your tongue!"
"Take off your shirt!" -Monica and Chandler, while Chandler is drunk.

"Huh. Sounds like Mark wants to have some sex." -Ross, learning about what Mark's doing for Rachel.

"I didn't have to because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell." -Rachel, when Ross asks if she told Mark she had a boyfriend.

"Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?" -drunk Chandler, when Joey's sisters come in.

"Those are some huge breasts you have." -drunk Chandler, to one of Joey's sisters.

"Well, my apartment isn't there anymore because I drank it." -Chandler, hungover.

"Are you insane? I mean, Joey is going to kill you. He's actually going to kill you dead." -Monica. hearing about Chandler not remembering which sister.

"Well, that's the part where you tell him I moved to France. When actually I'll be in Cuba." -Chandler, showing Ross his letter to Mary-Angela.

"High collar and baggy pants say I'm a pro!" -Ross, advising Rachel what to wear for her lunch with Mark and interview.

"What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?" -Ross, upset with Monica for suggesting Rachel call Mark.

"Eavesdropping? Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down." -Rachel, letting Phoebe know they heard how her date went.

"Maybe he's jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it? (Pause) Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?" -Ross, trying to ease Phoebe's mind when they hear the guy upstairs with someone else.