TOW: Rachel Smokes

Rachel: has her first day of work at Ralph Lauren. It's going pretty awkwardly, as with all first days at a new job. She discusses which dress design she likes better with her boss, Kim (Joanna Gleason), and her co-worker, Nancy (Megan Ward). Kim and Nancy like the same dress, but Rachel disagrees. She's open about her opinion, which Kim and Nancy admire, but Rachel over-interprets their teasing. Kim decides she needs a cigarette break, and that they'll make the final decision on the dress when she and Nancy return. Rachel tells the gang that when Kim and Nancy got back, they'd already made the decision without her. She feels like she's going to miss out on everything if she doesn't go on the smoke breaks, too. Monica thinks that Rachel should go outside with them, not to smoke, but for fresh air. The next day, Rachel follows Kim and Nancy to the smoking area. She tries standing with them, but the smoke keeps blowing in her face, so Kim and Nancy move. Rachel panics, bums a cigarette off of a guy, and goes to stand with them. Kim and Nancy are shocked, since Rachel told them she didn't smoke. Rachel explains that she thought they meant they smoked pot. It's an incredibly uncomfortable moment. Rachel goes to the coffee shop, intending to tell Monica and Chandler about her day. Monica's first comment is that Rachel stinks. Rachel explains that she accompanied Kim and Nancy on their smoke breaks, but Chandler realizes that Rachel actually smoked. Rachel explains she only did it to keep her job, but Monica leaves cause Rachel smells too bad. Rachel smokes with her boss and co-worker again, but this time says she wants to quit. Kim and Nancy want to stop, too, but can never do it. Rachel decides they should all quit together, getting the other two to agree. A day later, Kim asks Rachel how she's doing with quitting. Rachel tells Kim it's going great. Nancy abruptly leaves the office to copy something, and Kim follows because she's suddenly hungry. Rachel realizes they're smoking again, and goes to the smoking area to catch them. She's all ready to light up again, but Kim and Nancy refuse to let her because Rachel's doing so good. Kim says she'll fire Rachel if she catches Rachel smoking. Rachel goes back upstairs, but before she does she overhears Kim asking Nancy to accompany her on the Paris trip.

Ross and Joey: Ross, Carol, and Ben come into Central Perk celebrating. They'd been at the park, playing with Ben, when Ben was noticed by a commercial casting director. The casting director gives Ross and Carol a business card, encouraging them to have Ben try-out for a role in a soup commercial. Joey recognizes the casting director's name, they're really big in the commercial industry, which makes Joey jealous. He's tried for a long time to be discovered, and Ben doesn't have to do anything to get an audition. Ross gets ready to go to the audition with Ben and Carol, and mentions that the commercial also has a role for a dad. Joey's excited, deciding to audition to play Ben's father. Joey's given permission to try-out. He points out a kid who's done a lot of commercial work, Raymond, and Ross gets defensive. Ross is sure that Ben will get the part, but he doesn't believe that Joey will play the dad, hurting Joey's feelings. After the audition, Ross and Joey go to Monica's, looking all sad. Everyone knows it's an act, Ben and Joey got callbacks. At the callback, Ross and Joey are extremely nervous. Joey's not gone on many callbacks, so he's not sure how it's all going to go. Ben, Joey, Raymond, and another man are announced as the top choices for the roles. But Ross and Joey are told that Ben and Joey won't be father and son because they don't look enough alike. Later that evening, Joey comes home and Ross is over. Joey offers to back out of the audition, so there won't be any weirdness. Ross agrees that Joey's decision is the best idea, but Joey's furious. He was hoping Ross would pull Ben out of the audition, to give Joey a better chance. Joey argues that it's his career, and Ben's just a kid, but Ross has no intention of pulling Ben out of the audition. They fight over which kid will eat the soup better. At the final audition, Carol asks Joey to watch Ben for minute. Joey tries to convince Ben to drop-out of the audition, but in doing so reminds himself how much he loves acting. Ross comes in, and they have a bit of a stand-off, but Joey's called in for his audition. It should be really simple, but Joey keeps blowing the line by saying "mmm, noodle soup!" instead of "mmmm, soup!" He doesn't get the part. During Rachel's surprise party, Ross apologizes to Joey, especially since Joey's audition didn't go well. Ross explains that he thinks Joey sabotaged himself so Ben could get the role. Joey agrees that could be the case, mostly cause it makes him look better. Ross tells Joey that Ben didn't get the role anyway.

Monica and Phoebe: When Rachel leaves for her first day of work, Phoebe suggests to the others that the start planning Rachel's birthday. They point out that Rachel's birthday isn't for another month, but Phoebe explains that it'll just make the surprise party more surprising. Everyone's on board, but Monica and Phoebe are doing all the planning. The first idea is to have an intimate party with Rachel's closest friends. Later, Phoebe tricks Rachel into going to get coffee, so that she and Monica can have some time to plan the party. However, Monica's already done all the planning, leaving Phoebe with nothing to do. Phoebe's hurt, but doesn't really say anything. Monica lets Phoebe be in charge of cups and ice. Phoebe brings two giant trash bags over to Joey and Chandler's, asking them if she can store the bags there until Rachel's party. She explains that the bags are full of cups, cause that's all Monica let her be in charge of. She's going crazy with the cups to teach Monica a lesson, she has more trash bags full downstairs. At the party, Phoebe's made everything out of cups. There are hats, a chandelier, centerpieces, and streamers all made out of cups. Monica's pretty furious. Phoebe's also supplied three different kinds of ice, chipped, cubed, and dry. Oh, and there are sno-cones! Which are a much bigger hit with the guests than Monica's finger food. Monica kind of apologizes for doing all the planning herself, and they decide to plan Joey's party together. Phoebe says she'll bring the beer, leaving Monica with nothing to do. Rachel comes home and is incredibly surprised. Not only is her birthday not for another month, but Chandler's is actually before hers.

Chandler: really wants to smoke. He tells Rachel all about the glories of smoking, and wants to smoke when she does. At the party, he steals a pack of cigarettes from a woman's purse (he's sad everyone forgot his birthday), but is caught by Monica. Monica says he has to choose between her and the cigarettes. He chooses Monica, but only because the cigarettes were menthol. He goes to Ralph Lauren to pick Rachel up for lunch, and ends up at the smoking area. He takes a drag from Kim's cigarette, before running upstairs.

• I do feel a little bad for Joey. He's been a failed actor for years, but Ben deserves a chance, too. He's just a little kid for christ's sake.

• How come Chandler doesn't realize his birthday comes first when they're all planning to throw Rachel a surprise party? I don't think he can be mad if he forgets his birthday, too.
  

• Ross could've mentioned that the casting people were looking for a guy to play the dad when Joey was flipping out in Central Perk.
  

• Oh, Chandler is Ben's godfather, but Joey thinks he is.
  

• It's totally admirable that Rachel is honest about her opinions on the first day of the job. She'd do anything to fit in (obviously), but still manages to be truthful.

Nancy seems like a bitch.

• Joanna Gleason, who plays Kim, was on The West Wing as Leo's lawyer/love interest. Megan Ward also guest starred on The West Wing, but I have no idea who her character is.

• Seriously, Monica's getting on my nerves.

See, total bitch face.

• Pouting

• Phoebe and her cups

• Joey trying to get Ross to pull Ben out of the audition is a douche move.
  

I'd be pissed, too.

• I don't smoke, nor do I like inhaling large quantities of cigarette smoke, but I think Monica's reaction is ridiculous. It'd be different if Rachel was, like, smoking in her face, or something.
  

• The "mmm, noodle soup!" thing is hilarious. Actually, I like that line better than the "mmm, soup!"

• Rachel's understandably disappointed about not being asked to go on the Paris trip, but she's only worked there for a week. Clearly, accompanying Kim on the trip is going to be offered to the person with the most experience. It also reminds me of The Devil Wears Prada.

• This is the best use of cups since...well, ever.

Phoebe's fez is epic.

• I want dry ice at my next birthday part!

• This isn't awkward.

For some reason, this makes me think "Look what you're doing to Chandler!"

The Magna Doodle Says

"Joey," unreadable name "wants you to call her."


Oh. My. God

"I'm always on the swings!" -Joey, complaining about Ben being offered an audition while he was swinging in Central Park.

"Uh, well, y'know what? I don't think I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day." -Rachel, to Chandler, after he asks her to bring back some polo shirts.

"Okay, great, so do you want to do it together?"
"I would love to do it together!"
"They're gonna do it together." -Phoebe, Monica, and Joey.

"Weirder than watching his two moms make out?" -Chandler, when they're speculating on how weird it'll be for Ross to watch someone else play Ben's dad.

"I look more like him than you do!" -Joey, to Ross, when they argue over the likelihood of Joey playing Ben's dad.

"Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories...about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke." -Rachel, to Kim, on why she doesn't smoke.

"It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!"
"Yeah, it is the best." -Rachel and Chandler, about smoking.

"Oh good, because, uh, we got Rachel 800 gallons of water." -Chandler, to Phoebe, as she's bringing in all the cups.

"Y'know, I rued the day once...didn't get a whole lot else done." -Chandler, to Phoebe.

"Well, I mean, let me get the door first. Oh hi, No One." -Chandler, when Joey wants Chandler to take his side in his fight with Ross.

"Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?"
"You just give him a spoon, baby!" -Ross and Joey, arguing about the commercial casting.

"Your kid's name is Raymond!"
"Yeah?! So's yours!" -Ross and Joey, still fighting.

"You look happy and sick; you smoked!" -Chandler, to Rachel.

"I wish I had to smoke for my career..." Chandler.

"We could be like the Patch Sisters!" -Rachel, as she convinces Kim and Nancy to quit smoking.

TO: Without the Ski Trip

Ross and Rachel breaking up didn't do good things for the group.

Ross: fights with Rachel every time they're in the same room. The others try to keep them apart as much as possible, but it doesn't go well. Ross invites the gang (except Rachel) to hang out with him to see his new home entertainment system. At Ross's, he thanks everyone for being there for him, then asks if they want to spend the weekend watching movies and playing darts. He learns about the ski trip and is really upset that everyone's abandoning him. They all offer to stay, but Ross decides he doesn't want a pity stay. As the others leave for the weekend, he goes to Carol's to talk. Carol is preparing a romantic dinner for her and Susan to celebrate an anniversary. She tries to be nice, but just wants Ross to leave. Ross starts in on the break up story. His pager goes off, but he doesn't recognize the number. It's Phoebe, calling from a rest area where her grandma's cab ran out of gas. Ross doesn't want to help because they all left him to go skiing, but Carol intervenes. Ross told Carol that Rachel fell in love with Mark, leaving out any mention of his sleeping with Chloe. Phoebe tells Carol the truth and Carol's disgusted with Ross. To get him to leave, Carol lets Ross use her car to go find his friends. Ross shows up and Rachel is less than thrilled. They fight. Ross says that Monica agrees with him about he and Rachel being on a break, so it's okay that he slept with Chloe. Monica says that isn't exactly what she meant. Ross says Joey agrees with him. Joey plays dumb. Finally, Phoebe intervenes and gets Ross and Rachel to agree to try and get along. They all go their separate ways, but Carol's car won't start. Ross shows up at Carol's again. Carol answers the door in her bathrobe. Ross wants to talk about how he replaced her car battery and what happened with his friends. Since Carol's busy, she kinda pushes him out the door and shuts it in his face.

Rachel: can't get along with Ross. She goes to Joey and Chandler's when everyone (but Ross) is eating dinner. She invites them to the Calvin Klein lingerie show, but they can't go because they promised to spend that evening with Ross. Rachel handles it pretty well and leaves. She comes back a few minutes later to invite everyone to her sister's ski cabin for the weekend. Everyone's really excited and they agree to the plan. The trip goes pretty well at first, until they go to the rest stop. Rachel doesn't like to go in public restrooms, so she decides to stay in the cab. When everyone else gets out, she decides to as well, but inadvertently locks the keys in the cab, which is still running. Monica and Phoebe want to call Ross when the cab runs out of gas, but Rachel refuses to accept that as a solution. When Ross shows up, she's furious and she and Ross fight. Ross drags Monica and Joey into it and Rachel confronts them. The others feel bad that Ross isn't able to come skiing with them, even though he came to help them with the car. Rachel refuses to let him come and they fight some more. Phoebe breaks it up. Ross says the others should go on their trip and not worry about him.

Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey: aren't taking the breakup well. It's put a huge strain on the group. They try to keep Rachel and Ross separated, but it doesn't work out. Every time the two are in the same room, they argue. While everyone (but Ross and Rachel) have dinner at Chandler and Joey's, they see that Chandler's started smoking again. He's taken the breakup really hard because it reminds him of his parents divorce. He's not interested in giving smoking up. They try really hard to do stuff with Rachel and Ross, but they have to say no to Rachel's lingerie show invite and no to Ross's weekend of movie watching. Ross is really upset and they try to comfort him, but he's not really interested in being anything but wounded. On the drive to the ski cabin, Chandler wants to smoke, but Phoebe won't let him. He says he needs to go to the bathroom and that they should pull over at the next rest area. Joey ends up really needing to use the bathroom. They pull over and Rachel locks the keys in the still running car. Joey can get the door open, he just needs a long wire. He asks one of the girls for their underwire from their bra. No one wants to give up their bra, but Phoebe finally does. Joey unlocks the door and they continue their adventure. They go a few inches and the car stalls because it's out of gas. Phoebe calls Triple A, but no one knows where exactly they are, so Triple A can't help them. Monica and Phoebe want to call Ross, but Rachel refuses to be in a car with him. Phoebe sneaks and calls him anyway. Monica distracts Rachel by pointing out the one cent tampons in the restroom. Chandler and Joey try to walk to the highway looking for help, but Chandler collapses because he smokes too much. When Ross shows up and he and Rachel start fighting, Chandler looses it. Phoebe yells at Ross and Rachel to stop, pointing out what's happening to Chandler. Phoebe says that Ross and Rachel have to get along and stop putting everyone else in the middle. She says that if they don't get along, they won't all be able to hang out anymore. Ross and Rachel agree to try to get along.

• I like and dislike this episode all at the same time. It's very confusing.
  

• The aftermath of the breakup is handled nicely, and, I think, realistically. Rachel is furious with Ross for going to bed with Chloe. Ross is enraged that Rachel won't agree they were on a break, so he wasn't actually cheating. It puts a significant strain on the group, which is somehow good to see. It wouldn't be as true to life if everyone acted like nothing'd happened between Ross and Rachel.
  

• Why I hate this episode:

He's a self-righteous prick.

• When Rachel learns her friends can't go to the Calvin Klein lingerie show, she's disappointed, but handles it with class. Ross just about goes to effing pieces when he learns about the ski trip. He's mad at everyone for leaving him, like they aren't Rachel's friends, too. I think the real issue is that he expects them all to side with him, and basically cut Rachel off. Whatever, Ross. Grow up.

• The stress of all the fighting makes Chandler take up smoking again.

It's really quite sad.

• I get that Ross is really hurting, but he completely disregards the fact that Carol has plans.
  

And eats the food Carol makes for Susan.

• I can't believe Ross tells Carol that Rachel feel in love with Mark! That's so far from the truth it's jaw dropping. And he never mentions that he slept with someone else. I'm guessing it's because he knows it was wrong he slept with Chloe and he doesn't want Carol to side with Rachel. Which she does.
  

• In fairness, Rachel is quite unreasonable, too. When the cab runs out of gas, the best solution is to call Ross. If they'd have done it in the first place, the issue would've been solved much faster.
  

• Poor Chandler

He totally loses it when Ross and Rachel fight at the rest area. He does a running-in-place, dance...thing. Apparently, it's an impression of Shelly Winters in The Poseidon Adventure. Oookay.

• I gave Phoebe a mental standing ovation when she finally calls Ross and Rachel out on their behavior. I always kinda see it as being more of Ross's fault than Rachel's. Ross is the one who drags Monica and Joey into the fight. He also makes the ski trip a choose-between-me-and-Rachel situation, when it really isn't.
  

• This episode is titled TO: Without the Ski Trip, but I'm pretty sure they do still go. Maybe it's called this because we don't get to see the trip? I don't know.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts." -Chandler, comparing Ross and Rachel's breakup to his parent's divorce.

"Closer than here?" -Rachel, to Monica, who wants to leave Central Perk when Rachel wants coffee.

"Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm--I'm smoking still." -Chandler, explaining his smoking.

"I'm tellin' ya something, that first smoke after nap time..." -Chandler, who started smoking when he was nine.

"Him? Him, Ross?"
"Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes are on the Sparrow!" -Phoebe and Chandler. I totally didn't get Chandler's reply, because I didn't realize he was saying hymn. Heh.

"No! We're gonna have fun! We can make fudge!" -Monica, talking about staying home from the ski trip to be with Ross.

"What does the sign say?"
"Beam me up, Jesus." -Phoebe and Chandler, when Chandler tries to smoke in the cab.

"Oh, I do! Oh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning."
"So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?" -Chandler and Monica, after Chandler sarcastically replies to Joey's request for a hanger.

"Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us." -Chandler, to Phoebe, after being scolded for littering.

"Then why are you answering?" -Phoebe, to Monica, when Monica tries to guess what town they're near.

"I have the lung capacity of a two year old." -Chandler, after collapsing on the way to the highway.

"We were on a break!" -Ross, to Carol, when she learns he slept with someone else.

"You slept with another woman?"
"Oh, you're--you're--you're one to talk." -Carol and Ross. He does have a point.

"What's 'pleh'?
"That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!"
"Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards?" -Monica and Joey, when Joey forms the word 'help' out of twigs.

"Oh no! Now it's not gonna make any sense!" -Chandler, to Joey, after Ross walks through Joey's stick sign.

"Y'know what, I can handle it. Handle's my middle name. Actually, it's the uh, middle part of my first name." -Chandler, letting the others know he can take Ross and Rachel's arguing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?" -Rachel, to Ross.

"I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventures." -Chandler, explaining his strange dance thing.