Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey: learn that everyone in the group owes $62 for Ross' birthday celebration, including concert tickets, a gift, and a cake. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey get upset because they really don't have that kind of money, but Ross, Chandler, and Monica never seem to take that into consideration. It bothers Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey that the others just assume they have enough money to go out to dinner and do expensive stuff. They all go out to celebrate Monica's new job, but Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey can't afford much on the menu. They share their issues after Ross divides the bill five ways, expecting Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey to pay over thirty bucks for their tiny meals. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey tell the others of their money issues and how they feel uncomfortable. When Monica brings home raw ingredients for a dinner for six and six concert tickets for Hootie and the Blowfish, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are not pleased. Now they feel like charity cases. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey decide not to go to the concert. They're furious when they learn that the others got to party with the band.
Chandler, Ross, and Monica: don't have problems with money because they all have well paying jobs. They never take money into consideration when deciding how to spend their time. Chandler and Monica seem to have a large hand in planning Ross' party, including the concert tickets. Monica is made head lunch chef and head of purchasing at the restaurant and wants everyone to go out and celebrate. She, Ross, and Chandler order huge, expensive entrees, while the others barely eat anything. They really don't get Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe's point-of-view, but they try to be understanding. They come up with a plan to make dinner with the five steaks and eggplant that Monica brings home from the restaurant and they buy six concert tickets for the gang. When the others decide not to go, Monica, Chandler, and Ross still attend. They decide to leave because it's not the same without the other three, but then the concert starts. Monica runs into a guy, Stevie Fisher (Chris Young), she used to babysit. He's now the band's lawyer and gets Chandler, Ross, and Monica backstage. They get to party with Hootie and the Blowfish and Monica makes out with one of the Blowfish.
Chandler: is screening his calls when he a woman, Jade (Brittney Powell), calls for someone named Bob. Jade sounds hot, so Chandler picks up, pretending to be Bob. Chandler sets up a date for Jade and Bob, and plans on hooking up with Jade after Bob stands her up. Ross tries to talk him out of it, but Chandler goes through with it. He and Jade start dating. The day of the concert, Chandler and Jade have sex. Chandler's telling Ross about it when the phone rings; it's Jade for Bob. She still wants to hook up with Bob and says the sex with Chandler wasn't very good.
Monica: changes meat vendors at the restaurant after she's made head of purchasing. The new meat vendor gives her the five steaks (I'm not sure where the eggplant is from). After the concert, Monica gets a page from the restaurant. She calls and learns that the management of the restaurant view the five steaks as a kickback. Monica is fired.
I find the dance Ross and Chandler do, when Chandler pretends to be Bob, a little creepy.
This is Jade:
Jade's legs are on the new James Bond poster.
Man, remember Hootie and the Blowfish? That was, like, way back in the day.
I'm not a huge fan of this episode. I don't think it's very funny and not a lot happens. It's mostly the gang arguing about money. I find it boring.
Rachel apparently slept with Stevie Fisher's dad. Scandalous.
I'm so apathetic about the Five Steaks and an Eggplant. I have nothing else to say about it. I keep going over my notes and trying to muster up something to say, but all I got is, "meh."
Oh, well Julie's out of town. Ross pines.
Oh. My. God.
"Spanish midgets...Spanish midgets wrestling....Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there." -Chandler, after Ross whimpers about missing Julie.
"Having a phone has finally paid off." -Chandler, having made a date with Jade.
"Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right there on the edge of my seat." -the waiter, waiting for them to order.
"Anything else?" "Yes, how 'bout a verse of 'Killing Me Softly'?" -the Waiter, and Chandler.
"So, the Ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh?" -Chandler, trying to ease the tension at dinner.
"So, uh, how was he?" "Eh." "Eh?" -Chandler as Bob and Jade, about sleeping with Chandler.
"No, I just--I fell down." "On someone's lips?" -Monica and Rachel, about Monica's hickey.
"That would be the work of a Blowfish." -Monica, explaining her hickey.
Ross: listens as Rachel vents about Barry and Mindy being engaged. He thinks he's exactly the sort of guy that Rachel describes as being perfect. He tries to tell her that maybe she should look at someone who's already her friend, but he's interrupted as everyone else walks in. Ross mentions that tomorrow Rachel is going to watch Marcel for him. The next day over pizza, Ross tells Chandler and Joey that he's going to ask Rachel out that night. He has plans that involve wine, and etc...He gets to Monica and Rachel's only to have Rachel tell him she lost his monkey. He's angry and yells at Rachel for being irresponsible and never owning up to making mistakes. He's even more upset when he learns that Rachel called Animal Control, because Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. He and Rachel go around the neighborhood, searching for Marcel. They don't find him, but they see a delivery guy with a crate of banana's. The banana's lead them to Mr. Heckles, who's taken Marcel and dressed him in a tutu. After Marcel is returned, Ross and Rachel finally have their drink. Just as Ross is about to ask Rachel out, they're interrupted.
Rachel: opens the country club newsletter her mom sent her to see Barry and Mindy's engagement announcement. She's pretty upset by it, but she tells Ross it's not because they're getting married, it's because they're getting married and she's alone. She goes on to say that she's no longer completely off men, but is looking for the right one. The next day, she's watching Marcel and they're watching a soap opera together. Rachel realizes that Marcel pooped in Monica's shoe. She empties the poop on Barry and Mindy's wedding announcement, then takes it to the trash shoot. While doing this, she leaves the apartment door open and Marcel runs out. She tells Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler who go around the building looking for him. Rachel calls Animal Control and waits at the apartment to tell Ross what happens. Ross is furious and Rachel feels bad. It gets worse when the Animal Control person, Luisa (Megan Cavanagh), is a girl that went to high school with Rachel and Monica. Luisa hated Rachel. Rachel goes around the neighborhood with Ross and is the first to spot the man with the banana crate. She's able to blackmail Luisa into not taking Marcel. As Ross is about to ask her out, Barry storms into the apartment, saying he still loves her.
Phoebe and Monica: go the movies with Chandler and Joey. It's a chick flick, which they love. They are the first to go to Heckles's apartment and tell him they lost the monkey. They go down to the basement where they spot Marcel. Luisa comes down after them and tries to shoot Marcel with a tranquilizer. Phoebe jumps in front of the dart and gets shot in the ass. She spends the rest of the episode with half of her butt asleep (this is also how Rachel blackmails Luisa). Luisa didn't hate Monica because Monica was fat. Monica shows the gang pictures of her in high school.
Joey and Chandler: hate the movie they see with Phoebe and Monica. They also try to help Ross work up the nerve to ask Rachel out. While searching for Marcel they find two hot girls (literally, as their radiator broke). Chandler wants to help them fix their heating problem instead of search for Marcel, but Joey keeps him on track. Joey had a lot of fun in high school, having lots of sex and partying. Chandler went to an all boy's boarding school.
Out of all the 'Friends' episodes, this is the one that I've seen the most. I am sooo sick of it.
I am mildly in love with the skirt Rachel wears through most of this episode.
Part of me thinks that Ross is a little unreasonable, but another part totally gets how he feels. If someone lost my monkey*, I'd take my frustration out on them, even though I know that's completely illogical. It's not like Rachel intentionally lost the stupid monkey.
I just realized that the actor that plays Mr. Heckles is the same guy from 'Billy Madison' who does the weasel laugh.
Luisa is in 'A League of Their Own.' All I can think of, as soon as I see her, is ,"There's no crying in baseball!!"
Monica wasn't friends with Luisa in high school and doesn't even remember her. I thought Monica was friends with all the outcasts...Rachel was her only popular friend. I'm actually kinda unclear on why Monica and Rachel were friends in the first place.
Chandler is the one who wants to abandon the monkey search to help the hot girls. That just doesn't compute. It should be Joey who has to be pulled away.
Ugh, Barry.
There's a really great moment at the beginning where Rachel memorizes Central Perk's tea selection and recites the whole thing to the wrong customer. It totally fits in with the fact that, no matter how hard Rachel tries, she still sorta screws up.
*I would never own a monkey. They're disgusting. There's a reason they're illegal, Ross. One word: Ebola.
Oh.My.God.
"Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!" "Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any?" -Rachel and Monica, as Rachel examines her mail.
"Barry who you almost-?" "Barry who I almost." "And Mindy, your maid of-?" "And Mindy, my maid of." -Monica and Rachel, talking about the engagement announcement.
"Whoa, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?" -Ross, discussing relationships with Rachel.
"I meant female nudity, alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking." "Hugh! Hugh Grant!" -Joey, Monica and Phoebe, about the movie they saw. For inquiring minds, this is Ed Asner, who played Lou Grant:
Just a slight, slight difference between him and Hugh Grant.
"Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey..." "I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey." -Ross and Chandler, about Ross making his move on Rachel.
"Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and uh, try to woo her." "Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used." -Ross and Chandler.
"Marcel, did you poo in the shoe?" -Rachel, finding the monkey poo in Monica's shoe.
"Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room." -Chandler, on where to search for Marcel.
"No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with, like, a pen or a pencil." -Ross, scolding Rachel about losing Marcel.
"Ah, it's not you so much. You, you were fat, you had your own problems. But you? What a bitch." -Luisa, on Monica and Rachel in high school.
"A monkey." "Yes, have you seen any?" -Joey and Chandler, asking the hot girls about Marcel.
"Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people." -Chandler to Joey, after Joey irritated the hot girls.
"I have no monkey, and a broken foot!" -Ross, after searching the Village for Marcel and kicking a street sign.
"Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea." -Phoebe, having taken an tranquilizer dart to the ass.
"You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat." -Ross, to Rachel after Luisa won't give them Marcel.
"We have got to start locking that door." -Ross, commenting after Barry busts into Monica and Rachel's.
"Eh. I thought that was an alp." -Chandler, looking at Monica's yearbook photos of being in the 'Sound of Music.'
Ross-gets a monkey, named Marcel. Ross is glad to have a pet since Carol left. Things with Marcel are not great; Monica doesn't like him, and he becomes distant with Ross. Chandler checks in on Marcel one night when Ross has to work late, and Chandler and Marcel have a great time. At the New Year's party, Marcel ignores Ross the whole night. Oh, Ross is the only person who doesn't have a date for New Year's at any time during this episode.
Monica-doesn't like Marcel at all, especially when he messes with her spatulas and pees on her coffee table. Really, can you blame her? She invites an ex-boyfriend, Fun Bobby, to New Year's. When Fun Bobby arrives he's no fun because his grandpa just died.
Phoebe- performs in Central Perk where she's interrupted by two geeky looking guys, David (Hank Azaria) and Max. They were discussing how beautiful David thought Phoebe was. David is a physicist. Anyway, he and Phoebe start dating and he becomes Phoebe's New Year's date. Before the party, though, David learns that he and Max got a grant to study in Minsk for 3 years, starting January 1. David doesn't know what to do and lets Phoebe make the decision, which is for him not to go. Max is furious. At the New Year's party, Phoebe sees how much going means to David and tells him that he has to go.
Joey-doesn't get the job as mall Santa Claus, a job he's had before. Instead, he's an elf. At work, he meets a single mom and invites her to New Year's. Sandy, the single mom, brings her kids to the party, which makes Joey feel awkward. He ends up taking care of the kids while Sandy hooks up with scientist guy Max.
Chandler- is freaking out about not having a New Year's date. To take the pressure off, he decides that everyone should make a pact not to have dates for New Year's. They halfheartedly agree. When Chandler learns Phoebe invited David, he acts all mad, but in actuality had already invited Janice. Janice thinks this means they are back together and spends most of the party saying how happy she is they're dating again. Chandler finally tells her the truth and Janice is mad.
Rachel-thinks Paolo is going to be in Rome for New Year's, so she's dateless irregardless of the pact. Paolo gets an earlier flight, though, but he misses it. Rachel is attacked by an angry woman at the airport, fighting over a cab. The woman tackles her, making Rachel hit her head on the curb and cut her lip on her attack whistle. Rachel tries to have fun at the party, but her eye is swelling shut and she can't drink anything without spilling it.
In the end, they all don't have dates, like they agreed on. Chandler really wants to kiss someone, but Phoebe's too sad and Rachel's lip hurts too bad. Monica doesn't want to kiss everyone. Joey ends up kissing Chandler to make him shut-up.
I freaking love Hank Azaria!! Sweet, nerdy David is only one of the reasons I love Hank Azaria so very much. Agador, effing Spartacus???? I'm not sure if anyone else's ever seen Eulogy, but it's kind of awesome (also, Zooey Deschanel). And the Showtime show, Huff, which probably boasts one of the best, weirdest lines ever in, "You fucked my mother?!?!" Amazing.
There are some incredibly, incredibly bad clothes in this episode. I think it's because the costume designers used up their budget on party clothes, but still. No excuse. Here's a sample of the bad.
Oh my God, the maroon. It hurts me. Chandler's sweater is frightening. Joey and Rachel are the only bright spots.
I feel physical pain looking at this.
I know better than to expect much from Janice, but yeesh. The big pink bow!
I didn't realize getting a cab at the airport was so dangerous in the nineties. But, y'know, poor Rachel. I blame Paolo. Bastard.
I'm with Monica on the Marcel thing. Gross, Ebola-ridden, flee-bitten thing.
I'm legit creeped out by the chick Joey meets while dressed as an elf. That's just weird. I think there's a rule about not checking out dudes with pointed, jingly shoes.
Ugly Naked Guy hangs candy canes...places.
Chandler's midnight kiss.
Oh.My.God
" Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass!" -Chandler, meeting Marcel the first time.
"I made a man with eyes of coal/ And a smile so bewitchin'/ How was I supposed to know/ That my mom was dead in the kitchen?" -Phoebe's song.
"That guy's going home with a note." -Chandler, while David is being scolded by Phoebe.
"...You are luminous with a kind of delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling." -David, explaining to Phoebe what he and Max were talking about.
"I mean, God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! Ooooh, did I just share too much?" -Rachel, learning that Phoebe and David hadn't even kissed by the 6th date.
"I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped!" "Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history." "I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped!" -Chandler and Monica, as the dating pact unravels.
"Too many jokes! Must mock Joey!" -Chandler, seeing Joey in his elf costume.
"I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table." -Monica's response to Ross asking if Monica would treat Marcel badly if he was not a monkey, but Ross's girlfriend.
"And then your face exploded?" -Phoebe, seeing Rachel after she's attacked.
"I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocket book- starts yelling at me." -Rachel's explanation of the woman who attacked her.
"Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I mentally undressed an elf." -Sandy hitting on Joey. Ew.
"Kill me. Kill me now." -Chandler, responding to Janice asking Ross to take their picture.
"Hi, Max!" "Yoko." -Phoebe and Max, after David decides not to go to Minsk.
I identify the most with Chandler and Rachel. I have alternately wanted to dance in a fountain, own a chick and a duck, and eat my meals at a Foosball table. I find the most interesting uses for the phrase, "Gum would be perfection." I lament that the movies today are not more like the ones from Hollywood's Golden Age. I have a nearly sickening love for pop culture, musicals, and melodramatic novels of the 19th and 20th Centuries...
Jade's legs are on the new James Bond poster.
