TO: After Ross says Rachel

Ross: The season five premier starts off with the wedding ceremony; we see again him saying the wrong name, and the looks of shock on everyone's faces. Emily tells the reverend to go on with the ceremony, and he starts over. Ross says the right name this time, but Emily's totally pissed off, glaring at him. She jams the ring on his finger, moves her head away when he goes in for the kiss, and refuses to let him hold her arm as they walk back down the aisle. Once they're away from the guests, Emily elbows him in the stomach. At the reception, Emily's locked herself in the bathroom, and Ross is in with her, attempting to calm her down. She's not having any of it, though, so Ross leaves to join the party. All the guests are pretty solemn, and Ross encourages them all to dance. Ross and Rachel talk about the wrong name debacle, with Ross agreeing that it didn't mean anything when he said the wrong name. During this conversation, Joey comes up to tell Ross that the band is ready for he and Emily's first dance. Ross starts yelling, but calms down fairly quickly. Joey mentions that Emily's been in the bathroom for a pretty long time. Rachel tells them that she locked herself in the bathroom at her wedding to figure out how to pop the window out of the frame. Everyone laughs, then Ross runs for the bathroom door. He goes in to find the window open and Emily gone. Ross eventually goes to his and Emily's honeymoon suite to find her. Instead, he finds Chandler and Monica. He thinks they came to help him look for Emily. Monica and Chandler encourage Ross to keep looking for Emily, but Ross decides to stay at the suite in case Emily's looking for him. He asks Monica and Chandler to stay with him, and he he ends up falling asleep. He wakes up when there's a knock at the door, expecting it to be Emily. Instead, it's Mr. and Mrs. Waltham, coming to pick up Emily's things. The Waltham's (Jennifer Saunders, Tom Conti) tell Ross it's over between him and Emily, but he refuses to accept that. He says that he loves her, wants her to meet him at the airport to go on their honeymoon, and that him saying the wrong name meant absolutely nothing. He makes Mr. Waltham promise to tell Emily all of this. Ross's waiting for Emily at the airport when he sees Rachel. Ross feels like an idiot, waiting for Emily to show up. Their flight is getting ready to take off, and he's miserable. Rachel encourages him to go ahead and go on the trip; it'll help him get some distance. Ross thinks that's a good idea, and ends up asking Rachel to go with him. Rachel agrees after some hesitation, and they start to board the plane. Ross realizes he left his jacket, and goes back to get it. He sees Emily, and is super happy she showed up. But Emily saw him with Rachel, so she leaves. Ross runs after her.

Rachel: is as shocked as anyone when Ross says her name instead of Emily's. She asks the woman sitting in front of her if she should go up to the altar, since Ross said her name. Thankfully, she doesn't, but Ross's slip up is weighing heavily on her mind. During the reception, Rachel goes up to Monica to talk about what she should do about Ross saying her name. Monica's really distracted, but eventually tells Rachel that she shouldn't talk to Ross about what it meant, because he's married. She eventually does talk to Ross, though, while he's pacing around waiting for Emily. She says his mistake obviously meant nothing; he only said her name because he'd just seen her. Ross agrees that it was meaningless, and they're interrupted by Joey. Rachel's the one who clues Ross in on the fact that Emily might not be in the bathroom anymore. Rachel's waiting for Monica in Monica's hotel room; she wants to talk about what happened with Ross. Monica shows up with Chandler, and Rachel suggests they all get a drink. Monica and Chandler want Rachel to go down and get a table, but before she can the phone rings. It's Phoebe, who tells Rachel that Ross saying the wrong name didn't mean anything. Rachel thinks he's still in love with her, and starts going over the history of her relationship with Ross. The next morning, Rachel goes into the honeymoon suite, excited over an unmanned cart of toiletries, but her joy is extinguished when she hears Ross's conversation with the Waltham's. Rachel's at the airport, on stand-by for a flight home. She's been there for hours when she runs into Ross waiting for Emily. She comforts Ross, and encourages him to go to Greece to clear his head. Ross asks her to come with him, but Rachel's hesitant. She agrees to go, and boards the plane, though Ross has to go back for his coat. Once in her seat, Rachel orders drinks, and starts looking out the window. That's when she notices that the plane is pulling away from the gate, and Ross isn't on it. She begins to panic.

Monica and Chandler: are both shocked by Ross's mistake, but have bigger things on their minds, like sex. Chandler comes up to Monica in the buffet line, and says he wants to cancel their plans. He enjoyed being with her, but he's worried sleeping together will ruin their friendship. Monica's okay with the change in plans; it only happened because they're in a foreign country. Despite this decision, Monica decides it'd still be okay to do it while they're still in London. Chandler agrees, and they make plans to meet in the Waltham's wine cellar. Monica is delayed by Rachel wanting to talk about Ross. She doesn't give very constructive advice at first, but eventually tells Rachel to give up because Ross is married. Chandler ends up back at the buffet line, surprising Monica. The wine cellar wasn't a good place to meet, as the Waltham's are giving tours. Chandler and Monica end up going to her hotel room for some private time. They open the door, and Rachel's sitting on the bed, ready for a long chat about her and Ross. They try to get Rachel to leave, saying they want to change clothes, but Rachel suggests they go downstairs for drinks. They agree, but get Rachel to say she'll go down right away and get a table. Phoebe calls before Rachel can leave, though, so Chandler and Monica decide to go to Chandler and Joey's room. They get into that room, and start taking off their clothes, when Joey tries to come in. Chandler doesn't want to let him in, saying he's got a girl with him, but Joey knows it's just Monica. Chandler won't tell him he and Monica are fooling around, so he has to give Joey the room. Monica tries to get him to go away by saying they bought a movie, My Giant. Joey wants to watch that movie, so Chandler and Monica end up leaving. They go to Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite. Monica doesn't feel right about using it, but Chandler convinces her that the room expects sex. Monica's into it, but before they can do anything, Ross bursts in. They pretend to be searching for Emily, too. They tell Ross to go out and keep looking, but he's already decided to stay at the hotel. Chandler and Monica try to leave, but Ross asks them to stay with him. He looks so pitiful that they do. It's only an hour until their flight, and Chandler suggests they go into the suite's other room to have sex. Monica's all for it, but before they can move Ross off their laps, the Waltham's come by. On the flight home, they're both miserable. They're both sad they never go to have sex one last time, even though it only being one night made it more special. There's a pleasant catch, though; they're still over international waters, so they make plans to meet in the bathroom. Before Chandler can get up to meet Monica, Joey comes to sit by him. Joey wants to talk about his acting career, and Chandler can't get away. Monica finally comes back after, like, half-an-hour. When they get home, Phoebe's in the kitchen eating. They all say 'hi' and hug. Joey and Phoebe leave, and Chandler and Monica are alone. They're both awkward, but eventually Monica thanks Chandler for the night they had together. Chandler shares her feelings. They hug and Chandler goes to unpack. Monica walks toward the door, like she wants to call him back, but she doesn't. Instead, Chandler comes back in, says he's still on London time, and they kiss.

Joey: doesn't do much. Ross makes him dance at the reception when no one else will. He interrupts Jack and Mrs. Geller when they're discussing Ross saying the wrong name. He's eating a steak with his hands. Monica scolds him because Joey isn't supposed to eat meat while Phoebe's pregnant. He comes to tell Ross the band is ready, and gets spit on when Ross yells. He interrupts Monica and Chandler when he brings Felicia back to he and Chandler's room. He saw Monica go in with Chandler, and doesn't think they're doing anything sexual. He interrupts again during the flight, when he comes up to talk to Chandler about his acting career. He doesn't think he'll ever be as good of an actor as the giant from My Giant. When they get back to the apartment, he leaves Chandler and Monica alone to check on the chick and duck.

Phoebe: calls Mrs. Waltham again, pretending to be Ross's psychologist. She says that Ross didn't take his meds, and without them he gets women's names mixed up. Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her. Phoebe calls Monica's hotel room, and tells Rachel Ross saying the wrong name didn't mean anything. Rachel spends a long time talking to her about it. Phoebe's eating cereal with the bowl balanced on her stomach when Monica, Chandler, and Joey get back. They all hug, and Phoebe knows that Joey ate meat, and Monica had sex. Monica denies it, and Phoebe thinks she's off because her pregnancy. Joey asks about the chick and duck. Phoebe forgot to feed them, so she leaves.

• I've never understood why Emily goes ahead with the ceremony. I mean, I wouldn't.

If you can look at your future husband with such unadulterated hate written all over your face, maybe you shouldn't be getting married.

• Why is everyone at this wedding dressed like it's a funeral? Maybe it's appropriate.

Mrs. Waltham is a prefect example.

• I've always been a fan of the 'what happens in London, stays in London" thing.

I'm even happier that it doesn't work out.

• Y'know, everyone seems remarkably calm about Ross's marriage falling apart before it's even started. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are worried about sex. Rachel's upset, but because she's wondering what Ross saying her name meant.

• For all the renovations, the Waltham's house isn't that nice. Definitely not nice to be giving tours of the wine cellar. It's not freaking Monticello.
  

• Should it be that unexpected that Emily's ran away?

• Emily locks herself in the bathroom. But, gee, is it remarkably easy for Ross to just walk right in.
  

• I wish Joey got to do more.

Nom, nom, nom.

• How do Monica and Chandler get in the honeymoon suite?There must be something funny about British locks.
  

• Mrs. Waltham has the hots for Ross.

I'm not entirely clear on what's happening in this picture. It looks like Mrs. Waltham is grabbing Ross's junk. Really, I think she just grabs his ass.

• Yay, Chandler and Monica!!!

• It's really stupid for Ross to ask Rachel to go on his honeymoon with him. Doesn't she remember Barry and Mindy? I know that neither of them think Emily's going to show up, but still.

• I'd definitely be pissed if I was Emily. Obviously, we know that to Ross it doesn't mean anything, but what must it look like to Emily?

Well, it makes her make that face, so it's obviously not good.

• This has not been a good day for Rachel.

Heh, apparently he's not a reverend, but a registrar.

• Gheorghe Muresan is the giant in My Giant. He played for the NBA and is almost eight feet tall.
  

Oh. My. God.

"Like there'd be anybody else." -Ross, after saying the correct name.

"This is worse than when he married the lesbian." -Mrs. Geller, after the ceremony.

"It could've been worse. He could've shot her." -Chandler, after the ceremony.

"Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?" -Mr. Geller, at the reception.

"JOEY, DANCE!!!" -Ross, to Joey, when no one's dancing at the reception.

"What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor?" -Phoebe, about Mrs. Waltham.

"I blame London!"

"Bad London!" -Monica and Chandler, about their night together.

"Y'know you just said it cause you saw me there. If you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, 'I take thee, circus freak'." -Rachel, to Ross, about what him saying her name meant.

"You spit on me, man!" -Joey, when Ross yells about the band.

"Well, look at that, same thing." -Rachel, when they see Emily went out the window.

"The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser." -Chandler, to Monica, when he wants to use Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite.

"Wow, in forty-five minutes you can find her twice." -Chandler, to Ross, encouraging him to look for Emily more.

"Y'know, umm, we gotta get up early, and catch that plane for New York."

"Yeah, it's a very large plane." -Monica and Chandler, trying to get away from Ross.

"We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But I think you're absolutely delicious." -Mrs. Waltham, to Ross, when they come to tell him Emily never wants to see him again.

"Come on, bugger face!" Mr. Waltham, to Mrs. Waltham.

"You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window!" -Mr. Waltham, to Mrs. Waltham.

"But Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular size man?" -Joey, about how he compares to the giant in My Giant.

"You ate meat!! You had sex!!" -Phoebe, to Joey and Monica, about their time in London.

"I'm still on London time, does that count?" -Chandler, to Monica, when they get home.

"You can--you can lay on the beach, and I can cry over my failed marriage." -Ross, to Rachel, convincing her to come to Greece.