Phoebe: arrives at the hospital, announcing to the receptionist that babies are coming out of her. The receptionist takes her information, then Phoebe asks if contractions hurt. The receptionist hesitates, giving Phoebe the answer she didn't want. The receptionist asks after the father, allowing Phoebe to announce that she's having her brother's babies (for the thousandth time. Really, it never does get old). Joey has a camcorder, because he wants to make a tape for the babies. Phoebe asks them not to hurt her too much. Phoebe has the gang to call Frank, Alice, and Phoebe Two, letting them know she's gone into labour. Phoebe learns that her doctor fell in the shower. She freaks out, but Rachel assures her that the attending doctor is the head of the department, and very good. Phoebe has her first contraction, but it doesn't hurt too badly. She thinks Joey's having sympathy pains when he doubles over. Phoebe's at first very impressed by Doctor Harad (Sam Anderson), that is until he announces his love for the Fonz. Frank runs in the room, telling everyone that Alice is in Delaware, but will be there soon. Until she arrives, Frank is going to coach Phoebe. Phoebe has another contraction; this one hurts. She gets a little irritated with Joey, thinking he's trying to steal her thunder with his 'sympathy pains'. The doctor comes back to the room, they talk more about the Fonz, ascertaining that it is, in fact, the one played by Henry Winkler on Happy Days. Once the doctor leaves, Phoebe demands Ross get her a new one. Ross brings in a new doctor, one who doesn't care one way or the other about the Fonz. There's one problem, the new doctor (T.J. Thyne) is incredibly young. Phoebe refuses to let him be her doctor, and makes him cry. She confides to Rachel that she'd like to keep one of the babies, hoping that Rachel will talk to Frank for her. Rachel attempts to talk her out of it, but Phoebe's made up her mind. Phoebe ends up with the Fonz loving doctor again. The babies will be coming soon, but Alice hasn't made it back yet. Frank asks if Phoebe can hold them in a little longer. The doctor asks everyone, but Frank to leave the room. Phoebe has the first boy, which Frank runs out to the waiting room to announce. After Frank Jr. Jr., Phoebe doesn't want to have anymore, but obviously doesn't have a choice. Next comes Leslie, who Frank announces excitedly, with a small amount of panic. Finally comes Chandler, who is unexpectedly a girl. Frank announces this, too. After the delivery, the gang is gathered around Phoebe, holding the babies. Rachel comes back in the delivery room, having to tell Phoebe that Frank and Alice aren't going to let her have one of the babies. Phoebe's disappointed, but expected as much. She asks to be alone with the babies. Once everyone is gone, Phoebe holds them, and tells them how much she loves them, and will miss them. All the people she talked to about having babies said the delivery was the hardest part, but for Phoebe, giving them up is the worst. She's okay with being the favorite aunt, though. She cries.
Joey: brings a video camera to document the birth of the babies. Once in the delivery room, he starts filming, but doubles up in pain. He doesn't know the cause of it, but it's over nearly as soon as it starts, so he doesn't spend a lot of time worrying. He's okay for a considerable amount of time, making dirty jokes about the nurses Rachel and Monica have dates with, and filming the front page of USA Today for the babies. He also brought a Playboy tucked into the newspaper, so the boy babies' could get a head start on their sexual education. Ross asks where Monica and Rachel are, and Joey starts explaining about the nurses. During this discussion, he's again overwhelmed by pain. At one point, he leaves the delivery room to go to the gift shop. He exits the elevator after his shopping trip, and doubles over with pain. He hurts so badly that he attempts (half-heartedly) to steal an old man's wheelchair. Joey ends up getting seen by a doctor (Iqbal Theba), who diagnoses kidney stones. Joey's admitted to the hospital because of his kidney stones: Monica's with him. Ross comes in, too, after hearing about Joey's problem. The doctor goes over Joey's treatment options; the stones are too close to the bladder to do the normal procedure, so they can either let the stones pass, or send something up Joey's urethra. Joey's not having anything to do with the up the urethra business, and this is even before he knows what the urethra is. Ross stays with Joey the whole time he deals with his kidney stone issues. Joey passing the stones and Phoebe giving birth are showed to happen simultaneously. Once Joey passes his stones, the doctor gives them to him in a small glass vial. Ross and Joey kind of coo at them.
Rachel: gets herself and Monica dates with some cute male nurses. Monica's not exactly interested, but Rachel says it's helping her get over Ross. She spends a considerable amount of time in the delivery room with Phoebe. During one of these times, Rachel tells Phoebe how great it is she's having Frank and Alice's babies. Phoebe admits to wanting to keep one, and begs Rachel to ask Frank. Rachel thinks it's a horrible idea, and tries to convince Phoebe that it's never going to work out, and it's unfair of her to ask. Phoebe won't take 'no' for an answer. Later on, Phoebe asks Rachel if she's had a chance to ask Frank. Rachel hasn't asked yet, because she and Frank haven't been alone together. Phoebe reminds her that they're kinda limited on time. The Fonz-lover comes in, and Rachel makes small-talk by mentioning she always liked Mork. The Fonz-lover nearly has a conniption because Mork froze the Fonz. Rachel hurriedly mumbles some stuff about the Fonz's innate coolness to placate the doctor. After this incident, Rachel ends up alone in the waiting room for Frank. She learns that, instead of being scared of having three babies, he's very excited. After the babies are born, she's forced to give Phoebe the bad news. Even though Phoebe knew it probably wouldn't happen, it's still very hard for Rachel to say it and Phoebe to hear it.
Monica and Chandler: are late getting to the hospital. Ross asks where they've been, and Monica says she had to go back upstairs because she forgot her jacket. One problem, she's not wearing a jacket, and didn't bring one to the hospital. When Rachel tells Monica about the dates, Monica's not very excited. She tries to get out of it, but Rachel won't take no for an answer. Chandler's not around to hear any of this, but Joey does. Chandler's in the delivery room with Ross and Joey, when Ross asks where Monica and Rachel disappeared to. Joey tells them about the male nurses. Chandler's shocked. Chandler goes to find Monica. Once he does, he tells her he's okay with her dating a nurse; that they were just 'goofing around'. Monica'd been looking for Chandler, to tell him she wasn't going to go on the date. Since they're just 'goofing around' though, Monica's changed her mind about it. Later, in the delivery room again, Rachel introduces Monica to one of the nurses, Dan (Patrick Fabian) they're going on the date with. Monica acts really pleased to meet him, and Chandler gets jealous. He starts teasing Dan about being a nurse. It turns out that that Dan is nursing to pay for med. school, and did nursing in the Gulf War. Chandler's really embarrassed. Monica asks Dan if they can move their date up to the next evening, instead of Saturday. The Dan agrees. Chandler asks out a nurse of his own, but is quickly turned down. After the delivery, Monica and Chandler talk about their relationship. Chandler explains his definition of 'goofing around', saying that Monica might've gotten the wrong idea. She decides to cancel her date.
Ross: is quite the Boy Scout this episode. He helps Phoebe in the delivery room, making phone calls, encouraging her, placating her about the Fonz-lover, finding her a new doctor... all kinds of fun stuff. He ends up helping Joey through the kidney stone passage.
You guys, this is the ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE! That means I've done ONE HUNDRED episode posts!!! I can't believe it. I'm a bit overwhelmed.
"I'm having my brother's babies" really never gets old.
Neither does the hat box Rachel carries. I want one.
Note to Monica: when you're having a secret affair with one of your best friends, you gotta get better at lying.
I'd be really freaked out if my doctor couldn't make it to my delivery. It's the person you're accustomed to, and you trust them.
It just has to be said, the Fonz is cool. I'm not saying that I espouse the doctrine of the Fonz, like Dr. Harad does, but I get it. Actually, I think Henry Winkler's cool, and he imbued the character with his natural awesomeness. Hasn't anyone else ever watched Scream and thought, "Oh my God, they murdered Fonzie!"?
Rachel's wearing mom jeans!
1998 is crying out for low-rise jeans. Seriously.
Y'know, they say that the pain of passing a kidney stone for a man is the equivalent of giving birth.
I wish with all my heart that the really young doctor was played by Neil Patrick Harris. That'd be such a crazy random happenstance!
There's, like, a weird sexual vibe between Ross and Joey when Joey's thrashing about in kidney stone pain.
Maybe it's just me.
Phoebe wanting to keep a baby is at once delusional and heart-breaking.
I think the jealous-Chandler thing is awesome. It's really great to see he and Monica discussing the terms of their fledgling relationship.
When I was really little, I used to watch an inordinate amount of Nick at Night. Mork and Mindy was my favorite. I don't know why.
Joey and Ross get all misty eyed over the kidney stones.
I've always wondered how long Phoebe was in labor. Over twelve hours, I'm thinking.
Of all the people in the world you'd want in the delivery room with you, Frank Jr. is not one of them.
Wuppah!!
Chandler's a girl!
This picture makes me go, "Aww, wook at the wittle babbies!!!"
It kinda sucks that Alice missed the birth of her babies.
Phoebe's so sad. This is another one that always makes me cry.
There are a lot of familiar faces in this episode. Dr. Harad is played by the guy who played Bernard on Lost. Joey's doctor is Principal Figgins on Glee. The nurse, Dan, played a villain in an episode of Pushing Daisies.
Oh. My. God.
"I'm, umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me." -Phoebe, to the hospital receptionist.
"Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother." -Phoebe, to the receptionist.
"I gotta get the before shot!" -Joey, trying to stick his video camera under Phoebe's skirt.
"That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out of your vagina!" -Phoebe, to Ross, when he tries to comfort her after she learns that her doctor isn't coming.
"I didn't know I cared that much." -Joey, to Phoebe, after she says his pain must be sympathy pain.
"And also, I love Fonzie." -Dr. Harad.
"But don't worry, she told me all about the lamazda stuff."
"Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing." -Frank and Chandler.
"Grandma's chicken salad..." -Joey, making something mundane dirty.
"I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder." -Phoebe, to Frank, about Joey's pain.
"This--this Fonzie person you keep referring to, is that uh, is that another doctor?"
"Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzarelli. The Fonz." -Chandler and Dr. Harad.
"To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie..." -Ross, placating Phoebe.
"He has no strong feelings about Fonzie, or any of the Happy Days gang." -Ross, to Phoebe, about her new doctor.
"Ohhh, I'm gonna be on the news!" -Rachel, learning that Phoebe wants to keep one of the babies.
"Fonzie met Mork. Mork froze Fonzie." -Dr. Harad, after Rachel makes the mistake of saying she liked Mork.
"Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do." -Phoebe, after Frank asks her to hold the babies in until Alice gets there.
"So Dan, nurse not a doctor, huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?" -Chandler, being threatened by Dan.
"Yes, it has a head!" -Frank, during the first delivery.
"I already had a baby. Leave me alone." Phoebe, after she has Frank Jr. Jr.
"Chandler's a girl!" -Frank, after baby Chandler turns out to be a girl.
"They're so small!!" -Joey, about his kidney stones.
"Well, if you're gonna cry." -Phoebe, to the babies, being sad.
"That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?"
"Works on you." -Phoebe and Chandler, about how Frank and Alice are keeping the name Chandler.
Chandler: takes a romantic, candle lit bubble-bath with Monica. They're interrupted by Joey coming home early from a date. Joey comes into the bathroom, because apparently he and Chandler are okay with that kind of intimacy, and Monica's forced to duck under the water. Joey's getting some chicken, and wants to know if Chandler wants any. Chandler shoos Joey away, because Monica is drowning. When she resurfaces, she decides she'd like to have some chicken, so Chandler calls Joey back and places an order. The bath shenanigans set the tone for the rest of Chandler's story line. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are all having breakfast together. Chandler gets up to go to work, giving Monica a lingering kiss good-bye. In panic, he kisses Rachel and Phoebe. Chandler gets home from work one evening, heading straight over to Monica's. They're kissing heatedly when Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in. Chandler pretends that he was just leaving, proceeding to kiss Rachel and Phoebe in turn. Joey ducks out of the way. Chandler suggests that the group all spend a day in Central Park, to make Phoebe feel better about missing London. After Chandler's idea is abandoned, he attempts to leave the coffee house, but Rachel stops him. She informs him that his new European style good-bye makes she, Monica, and Phoebe uncomfortable. Phoebe backs Rachel up, and Monica goes along with them. Before they go to the hospital, Chandler and Monica start making out in the hall. Because that's a safe, private place.
Monica, Rachel, and Ross: Ross comes over, the first morning of the episode, asking whether or not Rachel's made it back yet. Monica lets him know that Rachel's flight was delayed in Athens, but that she should be home anytime. Ross's worried that Rachel's really upset about being abandoned in Greece. Rachel arrives, absolutely not mad at Ross, and telling everyone what a great time she had. Ross leaves for work (and to send 72 long-stemmed roses to Emily), and Monica tells Rachel she's glad Rachel handled the whole, being-abandoned-by-Ross-in-Greece thing, well. However, Rachel didn't really deal all that well with it. She was miserable in Greece, couldn't get a flight home, had to use Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite, and explain to everyone at the hotel why "Mrs. Geller" cried all the time. She was humiliated and unhappy the whole trip. She's not mad at Ross because she blames herself for making bad decisions. Rachel thinks someone else should be in charge of making her decisions from then on. Phoebe doesn't want to do it, but Monica eagerly accepts the challenge. Monica, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are in Central Perk, looking at pictures from London. Rachel won't pay any attention to the pictures, and Monica decides that it's because Rachel needs to get over Ross. Monica wants Rachel to talk to a cute guy in the coffee house; Rachel's not so into it, but Monica picks a guy and sends Rachel over. Rachel gets her date, set for the next evening. Dave (Zen Gesner) walks Rachel to her door, they had a great time. Rachel invites him in, but backtracks, realizing she needs Monica's permission. Rachel runs inside, and finds Ross sitting on the couch. Monica's out doing laundry, so can't make Rachel's decision. In front of Ross is a big box of the cut pieces of the 72 long-stemmed roses. He's absolutely miserable. Rachel decides to stay with Ross, comforting him. She sends Dave on his way, coming back into the apartment to make Ross tea. Monica comes in from doing laundry,and asks for Rachel to talk to her in the hall. Monica talked to Dave, and knows what Rachel's doing. As the person who makes Rachel's decisions, Monica orders her to finish her date with Dave. Rachel refuses, and explains that she wants to tell Ross she still loves him. Monica tells her it's a horrible idea, Rachel fires her, and they fight. Rachel throws some of Monica's clean clothes on the floor, and runs in the apartment, locking Monica out. Rachel tries to talk to Ross alone, but Monica's beating on the door, so Ross lets her in. Rachel refuses to talk to Monica out in the hall, so Monica refers to the Ross issue as 'swing dancing,' listing all the reasons Rachel can't 'swing dance.' It's very awkward. When Ross leaves, Monica tells Rachel she can make her own relationship choices, but before she tells Ross, Monica wants Rachel to find one person who thinks it's a good idea. In Central Perk, Rachel still hasn't found anyone to agree with her, but she thinks she just needs a guy's perspective. Joey tells her it's a bad idea to tell Ross. Rachel and Ross stay behind while the others go pack for the trip. Before leaving, Monica warns Rachel that telling Ross is a horrible idea, but Rachel's going to go through with it. Rachel tells him how she feels, then cracks up hysterically. She realized, right when she was saying she loved him, how ridiculous and idiotic it was. Ross was married, going through all kinds of trouble with his wife, and Rachel's confessing her feelings. Ross gets tickled about how messed up his marriage is; he hasn't talked to his wife since the wedding, and has no idea where she is. They both laugh for awhile, then agree that they won't talk about Rachel's confession. Ross is glad she told him, but it doesn't change anything between them. Upstairs, Monica wants to know if she was right about telling Ross, but before Rachel can say, the whole gang comes over.
Joey: keeps talking about what a great time he, Chandler, and Monica had in London. When he sees Chandler kissing all the girls, he decides he'd like to do it, too. Monica pushes him away. When Rachel locks Monica out, Joey promises to break down the door for a kiss. I don't know if she kisses him, I'm guessing not, but he tries to break down the door once Monica's already inside. Joey tells Phoebe about their exciting trip to Central Perk; he also decides they need a new plan when Phoebe hates the park idea. He and Ross fight over who came up with the Atlantic City idea.
Phoebe: is really bitter about not being able to go to London. She comes over one morning, preparing to tell a story about a cab driver. Chandler, Monica, and Joey interrupt with their reminisces of a cab driver from London. Then, they start talking about an awesome pub the cab driver took them to. After that, Phoebe's story's pretty lame. Phoebe comes into Central Perk while the others are looking at the pictures from London. Rachel's already smudged them, been scolded my Monica, then licked them. Monica shows the pictures to Phoebe, who smudges them, too. Worse than that, Phoebe's really upset that everyone was there, but not her. She gets out a Sharpie, and draws a Phoebe in the picture. Chandler apologizes for them talking about London too much. Phoebe accepts, saying that she's just disappointed she wasn't able to go. All she gets to do is pregnancy stuff. Monica tells Phoebe to shut her eyes, and think of all the good things about her life. Phoebe does, and when her eyes are closed, Monica takes the pictures back. Phoebe joins the group in Central Perk, everyone is incredibly excited to see her. They all felt bad because Phoebe didn't get to go to London, so they decided the entire group should go on a fun trip. To Central Park. Phoebe is less than enthused. Later, Ross brings Phoebe back into Central Perk, the came up with another plan; they're all going to spend the weekend in Atlantic City. Phoebe's much more excited about this. They have an hour to go pack, so they all split up. They meet back at Monica and Rachel's; Phoebe's totally happy about the trip, high-fiving Joey, and talking about all the fun they'll have. They're all celebrating when Phoebe's water breaks. The group tells her she has to go to the hospital, but she doesn't want to. Everyone starts celebrating the babies coming, hugging and high-fiving. Phoebe gets excited, too, and they head for the hospital.
Ah, the bubble-bath scene. It took me an inordinately long time to realize that Chandler's hurrying Joey along because Monica's holding her breath.
So sweet.
I've always wondered how long Rachel was in Greece. Obviously, she spent some time there, but how much?
I guess long enough to get that bitchin' hair braid.
Ross leaves Rachel at the airport and doesn't call. I don't know if it's because he's afraid of her, or what, but he totally should've called her. That's ridiculous.
Ross gets inordinately angry with Chandler and Monica for teasing him about Emily being faster. I believe this is the beginning of Ross's anger issues.
You should never ever tell your friends they can make decisions for you. This is a BAD IDEA.
All the kissing. Ha, A-freaking-mazing.
I've always wondered why Rachel and Phoebe never notice that Chandler's always kissing Monica first. They don't really believe the 'he picked it up in Europe' thing, yet Rachel and Phoebe go along with it.
Oh, the days before everyone uploaded their pictures on Facebook. How quaint.
Monica lists Gunther as someone Rachel could date. Gunther kicks Dave out after Rachel gets a date with him.
It'd be totally awful to be the only person in a group of friends who doesn't get to go on an awesome trip to Europe. You know she feels horribly left out, and it's completely understandable.
More kissing!!!
Phoebe just looks plain bored. "Oh, Chandler's, kissing us again. Ha, that guy."
Part of me is totally into this outfit. The other part is kinda upset by it.
It's a whole lot of yellow. Plus, funky embroidery.
The swing dancing thing is pretty epic.
CENTRAL PARK??? Their idea is to take Phoebe on a picnic in CENTRAL PARK??? Idea fail.
You have know idea how confusing it is, typing Central Park and Central Perk multiple times in the same paragraph. Brain=overtaxed.
So, should Rachel have told Ross? Was Monica right that it was a bad idea?
Phoebe's water breaks!!!
Great, great, great, great episode. Grrrrrreat!
Oh. My. God.
"Eh, you're just liquored up." -Chandler, to Monica, during their bath.
"I've had a very long, hard day." -Chandler, when Joey sees he's taking a bubble-bath.
"No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece." -Monica, to Ross, about whether Rachel is mad at Ross or not.
"Rachel is my wife! Y'know--Emily! Emily is my wife! Man, what is that?" -Ross, saying the wrong name. Again.
"Oh, Ross, when you make out the card, be sure to make it out to Em-il-y." -Chandler, to Ross.
"London is stupid! Stupid!" -Phoebe, being upset about London.
"Always a pleasure." -Chandler, after kissing all the girls for the first time.
"Alright, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me."
"Say that to him and you're golden." -Rachel and Joey, when Monica makes Rachel talk to the guy.
"I got caught up at work, but I'm quitting tomorrow." -Chandler, to Monica, after he's late meeting her.
"That's not European."
"Well, it felt French." -Rachel and Phoebe, after Chandler's second kiss.
"It's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!" -Ross, getting the roses he sent Emily returned.
"Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's going to make potpourri." -Ross, to Rachel, about the cut up roses.
"I'll kick that door in, if you give me a little sugar." -Joey, to Monica, after Rachel locks her out.
"Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky." -Ross, to Rachel, about, uh, swing dancing.
"My God, think of the massacre." -Ross, before he calls to cancel an order of stuffed animals he's having sent to Emily.
"Central Park?!" -Phoebe, learning about the proposed trip.
"I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group."
"That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth." -Chandler and Phoebe, about the kissing.
"Makes me wanna puke!" -Monica, about Chandler kissing them.
"I'm gonna go pack my ass off!" -Phoebe, packing for Atlantic City.
"My ass is already packed." -Ross, when everyone else leaves to pack.
"Was that a joke? Cause it's mean." -Ross, to Rachel, after she says she loves him, then bursts out laughing.
"Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking." -Joey, to Phoebe, after her water breaks.
Ross: The season five premier starts off with the wedding ceremony; we see again him saying the wrong name, and the looks of shock on everyone's faces. Emily tells the reverend to go on with the ceremony, and he starts over. Ross says the right name this time, but Emily's totally pissed off, glaring at him. She jams the ring on his finger, moves her head away when he goes in for the kiss, and refuses to let him hold her arm as they walk back down the aisle. Once they're away from the guests, Emily elbows him in the stomach. At the reception, Emily's locked herself in the bathroom, and Ross is in with her, attempting to calm her down. She's not having any of it, though, so Ross leaves to join the party. All the guests are pretty solemn, and Ross encourages them all to dance. Ross and Rachel talk about the wrong name debacle, with Ross agreeing that it didn't mean anything when he said the wrong name. During this conversation, Joey comes up to tell Ross that the band is ready for he and Emily's first dance. Ross starts yelling, but calms down fairly quickly. Joey mentions that Emily's been in the bathroom for a pretty long time. Rachel tells them that she locked herself in the bathroom at her wedding to figure out how to pop the window out of the frame. Everyone laughs, then Ross runs for the bathroom door. He goes in to find the window open and Emily gone. Ross eventually goes to his and Emily's honeymoon suite to find her. Instead, he finds Chandler and Monica. He thinks they came to help him look for Emily. Monica and Chandler encourage Ross to keep looking for Emily, but Ross decides to stay at the suite in case Emily's looking for him. He asks Monica and Chandler to stay with him, and he he ends up falling asleep. He wakes up when there's a knock at the door, expecting it to be Emily. Instead, it's Mr. and Mrs. Waltham, coming to pick up Emily's things. The Waltham's (Jennifer Saunders, Tom Conti) tell Ross it's over between him and Emily, but he refuses to accept that. He says that he loves her, wants her to meet him at the airport to go on their honeymoon, and that him saying the wrong name meant absolutely nothing. He makes Mr. Waltham promise to tell Emily all of this. Ross's waiting for Emily at the airport when he sees Rachel. Ross feels like an idiot, waiting for Emily to show up. Their flight is getting ready to take off, and he's miserable. Rachel encourages him to go ahead and go on the trip; it'll help him get some distance. Ross thinks that's a good idea, and ends up asking Rachel to go with him. Rachel agrees after some hesitation, and they start to board the plane. Ross realizes he left his jacket, and goes back to get it. He sees Emily, and is super happy she showed up. But Emily saw him with Rachel, so she leaves. Ross runs after her.
Rachel: is as shocked as anyone when Ross says her name instead of Emily's. She asks the woman sitting in front of her if she should go up to the altar, since Ross said her name. Thankfully, she doesn't, but Ross's slip up is weighing heavily on her mind. During the reception, Rachel goes up to Monica to talk about what she should do about Ross saying her name. Monica's really distracted, but eventually tells Rachel that she shouldn't talk to Ross about what it meant, because he's married. She eventually does talk to Ross, though, while he's pacing around waiting for Emily. She says his mistake obviously meant nothing; he only said her name because he'd just seen her. Ross agrees that it was meaningless, and they're interrupted by Joey. Rachel's the one who clues Ross in on the fact that Emily might not be in the bathroom anymore. Rachel's waiting for Monica in Monica's hotel room; she wants to talk about what happened with Ross. Monica shows up with Chandler, and Rachel suggests they all get a drink. Monica and Chandler want Rachel to go down and get a table, but before she can the phone rings. It's Phoebe, who tells Rachel that Ross saying the wrong name didn't mean anything. Rachel thinks he's still in love with her, and starts going over the history of her relationship with Ross. The next morning, Rachel goes into the honeymoon suite, excited over an unmanned cart of toiletries, but her joy is extinguished when she hears Ross's conversation with the Waltham's. Rachel's at the airport, on stand-by for a flight home. She's been there for hours when she runs into Ross waiting for Emily. She comforts Ross, and encourages him to go to Greece to clear his head. Ross asks her to come with him, but Rachel's hesitant. She agrees to go, and boards the plane, though Ross has to go back for his coat. Once in her seat, Rachel orders drinks, and starts looking out the window. That's when she notices that the plane is pulling away from the gate, and Ross isn't on it. She begins to panic.
Monica and Chandler: are both shocked by Ross's mistake, but have bigger things on their minds, like sex. Chandler comes up to Monica in the buffet line, and says he wants to cancel their plans. He enjoyed being with her, but he's worried sleeping together will ruin their friendship. Monica's okay with the change in plans; it only happened because they're in a foreign country. Despite this decision, Monica decides it'd still be okay to do it while they're still in London. Chandler agrees, and they make plans to meet in the Waltham's wine cellar. Monica is delayed by Rachel wanting to talk about Ross. She doesn't give very constructive advice at first, but eventually tells Rachel to give up because Ross is married. Chandler ends up back at the buffet line, surprising Monica. The wine cellar wasn't a good place to meet, as the Waltham's are giving tours. Chandler and Monica end up going to her hotel room for some private time. They open the door, and Rachel's sitting on the bed, ready for a long chat about her and Ross. They try to get Rachel to leave, saying they want to change clothes, but Rachel suggests they go downstairs for drinks. They agree, but get Rachel to say she'll go down right away and get a table. Phoebe calls before Rachel can leave, though, so Chandler and Monica decide to go to Chandler and Joey's room. They get into that room, and start taking off their clothes, when Joey tries to come in. Chandler doesn't want to let him in, saying he's got a girl with him, but Joey knows it's just Monica. Chandler won't tell him he and Monica are fooling around, so he has to give Joey the room. Monica tries to get him to go away by saying they bought a movie, My Giant. Joey wants to watch that movie, so Chandler and Monica end up leaving. They go to Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite. Monica doesn't feel right about using it, but Chandler convinces her that the room expects sex. Monica's into it, but before they can do anything, Ross bursts in. They pretend to be searching for Emily, too. They tell Ross to go out and keep looking, but he's already decided to stay at the hotel. Chandler and Monica try to leave, but Ross asks them to stay with him. He looks so pitiful that they do. It's only an hour until their flight, and Chandler suggests they go into the suite's other room to have sex. Monica's all for it, but before they can move Ross off their laps, the Waltham's come by. On the flight home, they're both miserable. They're both sad they never go to have sex one last time, even though it only being one night made it more special. There's a pleasant catch, though; they're still over international waters, so they make plans to meet in the bathroom. Before Chandler can get up to meet Monica, Joey comes to sit by him. Joey wants to talk about his acting career, and Chandler can't get away. Monica finally comes back after, like, half-an-hour. When they get home, Phoebe's in the kitchen eating. They all say 'hi' and hug. Joey and Phoebe leave, and Chandler and Monica are alone. They're both awkward, but eventually Monica thanks Chandler for the night they had together. Chandler shares her feelings. They hug and Chandler goes to unpack. Monica walks toward the door, like she wants to call him back, but she doesn't. Instead, Chandler comes back in, says he's still on London time, and they kiss.
Joey: doesn't do much. Ross makes him dance at the reception when no one else will. He interrupts Jack and Mrs. Geller when they're discussing Ross saying the wrong name. He's eating a steak with his hands. Monica scolds him because Joey isn't supposed to eat meat while Phoebe's pregnant. He comes to tell Ross the band is ready, and gets spit on when Ross yells. He interrupts Monica and Chandler when he brings Felicia back to he and Chandler's room. He saw Monica go in with Chandler, and doesn't think they're doing anything sexual. He interrupts again during the flight, when he comes up to talk to Chandler about his acting career. He doesn't think he'll ever be as good of an actor as the giant from My Giant. When they get back to the apartment, he leaves Chandler and Monica alone to check on the chick and duck.
Phoebe: calls Mrs. Waltham again, pretending to be Ross's psychologist. She says that Ross didn't take his meds, and without them he gets women's names mixed up. Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her. Phoebe calls Monica's hotel room, and tells Rachel Ross saying the wrong name didn't mean anything. Rachel spends a long time talking to her about it. Phoebe's eating cereal with the bowl balanced on her stomach when Monica, Chandler, and Joey get back. They all hug, and Phoebe knows that Joey ate meat, and Monica had sex. Monica denies it, and Phoebe thinks she's off because her pregnancy. Joey asks about the chick and duck. Phoebe forgot to feed them, so she leaves.
I've never understood why Emily goes ahead with the ceremony. I mean, I wouldn't.
If you can look at your future husband with such unadulterated hate written all over your face, maybe you shouldn't be getting married.
Why is everyone at this wedding dressed like it's a funeral? Maybe it's appropriate.
Mrs. Waltham is a prefect example.
I've always been a fan of the 'what happens in London, stays in London" thing.
I'm even happier that it doesn't work out.
Y'know, everyone seems remarkably calm about Ross's marriage falling apart before it's even started. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are worried about sex. Rachel's upset, but because she's wondering what Ross saying her name meant.
For all the renovations, the Waltham's house isn't that nice. Definitely not nice to be giving tours of the wine cellar. It's not freaking Monticello.
Should it be that unexpected that Emily's ran away?
Emily locks herself in the bathroom. But, gee, is it remarkably easy for Ross to just walk right in.
I wish Joey got to do more.
Nom, nom, nom.
How do Monica and Chandler get in the honeymoon suite?There must be something funny about British locks.
Mrs. Waltham has the hots for Ross.
I'm not entirely clear on what's happening in this picture. It looks like Mrs. Waltham is grabbing Ross's junk. Really, I think she just grabs his ass.
Yay, Chandler and Monica!!!
It's really stupid for Ross to ask Rachel to go on his honeymoon with him. Doesn't she remember Barry and Mindy? I know that neither of them think Emily's going to show up, but still.
I'd definitely be pissed if I was Emily. Obviously, we know that to Ross it doesn't mean anything, but what must it look like to Emily?
Well, it makes her make that face, so it's obviously not good.
This has not been a good day for Rachel.
Heh, apparently he's not a reverend, but a registrar.
Gheorghe Muresan is the giant in My Giant. He played for the NBA and is almost eight feet tall.
Oh. My. God.
"Like there'd be anybody else." -Ross, after saying the correct name.
"This is worse than when he married the lesbian." -Mrs. Geller, after the ceremony.
"It could've been worse. He could've shot her." -Chandler, after the ceremony.
"Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?" -Mr. Geller, at the reception.
"JOEY, DANCE!!!" -Ross, to Joey, when no one's dancing at the reception.
"What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor?" -Phoebe, about Mrs. Waltham.
"I blame London!"
"Bad London!" -Monica and Chandler, about their night together.
"Y'know you just said it cause you saw me there. If you'd have seen a circus freak, you would've said, 'I take thee, circus freak'." -Rachel, to Ross, about what him saying her name meant.
"You spit on me, man!" -Joey, when Ross yells about the band.
"Well, look at that, same thing." -Rachel, when they see Emily went out the window.
"The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser." -Chandler, to Monica, when he wants to use Ross and Emily's honeymoon suite.
"Wow, in forty-five minutes you can find her twice." -Chandler, to Ross, encouraging him to look for Emily more.
"Y'know, umm, we gotta get up early, and catch that plane for New York."
"Yeah, it's a very large plane." -Monica and Chandler, trying to get away from Ross.
"We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey. But I think you're absolutely delicious." -Mrs. Waltham, to Ross, when they come to tell him Emily never wants to see him again.
"Come on, bugger face!" Mr. Waltham, to Mrs. Waltham.
"You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out the bloody window!" -Mr. Waltham, to Mrs. Waltham.
"But Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular size man?" -Joey, about how he compares to the giant in My Giant.
"You ate meat!! You had sex!!" -Phoebe, to Joey and Monica, about their time in London.
"I'm still on London time, does that count?" -Chandler, to Monica, when they get home.
"You can--you can lay on the beach, and I can cry over my failed marriage." -Ross, to Rachel, convincing her to come to Greece.
Season Four is my favorite. It's the season where everything seems to coalesce, and more than half the episodes are above average. This made picking the best and worst slightly more difficult than usual. That doesn't mean there weren't any bad episodes, but even the bad was still pretty good.
The season four opener takes us back to the beach. Ross and Rachel get back together... sorta. Phoebe deals with her birth mother still being alive. Oh, and Chandler pees on Monica.
Chandler finally kisses Kathy. Ross plays everyone his 'sound.' Rachel tries to eat out by herself. It's really the 'sound' and Kathy that always get to me. "Electrifying."
"And, hey! Just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!" -Rachel, 4.01
"Speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation." -Joey, 4.03
"Oh, Maria. You can't say 'no' to her. She's like this lycra, spandex covered gym treat." -Chandler, 4.04
"Hey, Duck, is Chick here?"
"Yeah...Bunny Rabbit..." -Treeger and Chandler, 4.04.
"And what are you laughing at, Ms.-my-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me?" -Monica, 4.05
"I can cook, and you can take care of the money!"
"Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!" -Monica and Phoebe, 4.06
"I like it in the stern... of the boat." -Chandler, 4.07
"Over the line?! You--you're so far past the line, that you--you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!" -Joey, 4.07
"It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner!"
"If it was a Greek tragedy, I'd be blind in both eyes!" -Rachel and Monica, 4.08
"Fine! Judge all you want to, but married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay, ice dance, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, livin' in a box!" -Monica, 4.08
"The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three, it hurts!" -Chandler, 4.08
"I don't like guys with boring jobs."
"Oh, and Ross was what, a lion tamer?" -Rachel and Chandler, 4.09
"I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black." -Chandler, 4.11
"I've gotta go, there's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!" -Ross, Emily, and Monica, 4.14
"Red Ross!!" -Ross, 4.15
"I'm going to Yemen!" -Chandler, 4.15
"Yeah, I definitely don't like the name Ross."
"What a weird way to kick me when I'm down." -Phoebe and Ross, 4.18
"I doooo." -Rachel, 4.20
"Yeah, well, that oughta do it." -Rachel, 4.20
"LONDON, BABY!!" -Joey, 4.23/4.24
"Do you think he knew I was here?" -Monica, 4.23/4.24
Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross have four hours before they need to be at the airport. That doesn't stop Monica from becoming a complete basket case about when they need to leave, though. She runs over to Chandler and Joey's to hurry them along. Monica goes back to her apartment, and starts packing things in her purse. Every time she puts an item in she says, 'check!'. Phoebe and Rachel make fun of her, but Monica didn't realize it was weird, because Mrs. Geller always used to do it. Ross comes in, doing the 'check!' thing, too. Chandler and Joey start to leave their apartment, but Joey's left his passport in his room. Monica tells Phoebe where she keeps all her cleaning stuff; Rachel doesn't know where the stuff is because she never cleans. The four going to London prepare to leave, but Phoebe wants hugs. She can't get up off the couch, so she has them come to her; she also asks them to bring her stuff she's left in the kitchen or over at Chandler and Joey's. Ross hugs Rachel good-bye, asking her again to come to his wedding. She says she can't because she has to work. Ross is totally disappointed, and tells her she can just watch the video. Monica breaks into all the hoopla to let them know they're really going to be late if they don't get a move on. After they leave, Rachel is sad. Phoebe offers her a hug, with no 'bring me ______" favors attached.
Arriving in London
Chandler and Joey: They leave their hotel, ready to do some sight-seeing, but Joey will not leave Chandler alone with the video camera. They're going to visit Westminster Abbey; to find the way, Joey pulls up a pop-up map of London. Chandler's horrified by this turn of events, but it gets worse as Joey puts the map on the sidewalk, proceeding to step on it to get his directional bearings. One can only assume that Joey finds the way; as he walks along he holds his pop-up map directly in front of him. Chandler's super embarrassed, and makes fun of Joey. Joey loses the way, and has to 'go into' his map again. There's a montage of Chandler and Joey doing touristy-y, London, stuff. Through out, Chandler is embarrassed by Joey's obviously a tourist actions. They finally get to Westminster, but Chandler is grouchy. He won't be on camera when Joey tries to film him and his thoughts on the Abbey. Their sight-seeing in London continues, and really only gets worse. At a street vendor cart, Joey picks up a Dr. Seuss hat with the Union Jack on it. Chandler's had enough, and tells Joey he can't buy the hat. Joey wants the hat, though, and he thinks he looks awesome. He goes ahead and buys it, even though Chandler says he won't hang around with Joey for the rest of the day if he's wearing the hat. If that wasn't bad enough, Chandler trips over some merchandise at another vendor cart, and falls into a display of flowers. After Chandler leaves, Joey introduces himself to some random British dude. Chandler's in the hotel room, trying to kick his shoes into a trash can, when Joey comes back (still wearing the hat). Chandler apologizes for being a jerk, saying he had a horrible day. Joey accepts the apology, but had a great day. He plays his video for Chandler, and we see Joey chatting up Duchess Sarah Ferguson. Fergie says she likes Joey's hat, and Joey hits on her, only to get shot down. Chandler wants to know how Joey met Fergie, but we never learn because Monica and Ross get into an argument.
Ross and Monica: are walking down a residential street in London. They are on their way to the building where they're having the wedding. While they walk, Emily details everything that's gone wrong with the wedding plans. The florist doesn't have tulips, and the caterer had to change the kind of chicken that was on the menu. Ross is trying to make her feel better, but Monica starts talking about how Emily'd be better off going with salmon. Ross keeps giving her dirty looks and kicking her, so she doesn't upset Emily more than she already is. Emily explains again why having the wedding in this particular building is important to her (it's pretty and her parents were married there). She points out the building to Monica, only to see that it's partially torn down. Emily and Ross run into the main room of the building; it's a mess with the roof gone, and piles of brick everywhere. Emily's horrified, especially when Monica comes back with the news that the crew decided to tear it down early (uhh, obviously). Emily and Monica go to a dress shop, so Monica can be fitted for her bridesmaid dress. Emily's flipping out about the building being torn down. Monica tries to reassure her that a new venue will be found, but Emily's in full panic mode. She's certain they won't be able to find another place to hold the wedding; it's on too short of notice, and all the good places will be gone, anyway. Monica points out that postponing the wedding isn't such a bad thing. If they move it back a little, Emily will be able to have the flowers and food she wants, instead of settling. This makes Emily feel much better. Emily goes to Ross's hotel room, where he informs her that Mr. Waltham thinks they'll be able to find a new place for the wedding. Emily tells Ross it's okay if they don't have a place, she's willing to postpone the wedding. Ross freaks, not wanting to put it off. He's upset because of all the money spent on wedding plans, and that his friends and family traveled all the way to London. Emily thinks they'll all come back, glad to allow Ross and Emily the chance to do the wedding their way. During the fight, Ross keeps putting on his pants backwards. Emily gets frustrated with Ross's attitude, and informs him that if he doesn't understand the importance of the wedding, then maybe they shouldn't be getting married. She stalks off, and Ross tries to follow, but closes his thing in his zipper and is immobilized by pain. Ross finds Monica in Chandler and Joey's room. Monica thinks Ross is going to thank her for calming Emily down, but Ross has to come to yell at her. He wants Monica to fix the thing between him and Emily. Monica explains that Emily was upset because she'd been envisioning her perfect wedding day since she was a little girl. What hurt Emily even more was the fact that, in her wedding fantasy, the man she was marrying understood why having the perfect wedding was important. Ross asks Monica to help him make it up to Emily. Monica takes Emily to the half torn down building, but Emily's not particularly happy about it. When they walk in the main room, Ross plugs in the strings of lights hung around the room. He and Monica describe how they can still make the wedding perfect, even if there's no ceiling. Ross and Emily kiss, and Monica's sad because she doesn't have a date.
Phoebe and Rachel: Rachel comes home to find Phoebe squirming all around on the couch. She's been doing as much as possible for Phoebe, insuring that Phoebe doesn't have to get off the couch that often. Rachel rushes over to help, but Phoebe only has a wedgie. Phoebe wants to talk about lunch plans, but is distracted because Rachel seems upset. Rachel explains that she's upset over how she left things with Ross; he seemed really hurt when she wouldn't come to the wedding. Rachel also feels bad for lying about having to work. Phoebe commiserates with Rachel, saying she'd be upset, too, if a person she was still in love with was getting married. Rachel starts arguing about still being in love with Ross. She says she still has feelings, loving feelings, for him, but she isn't in love with him. This goes on for awhile, until she slips, saying she's still in love with Ross. Once she says it, Rachel knows it's true, and is horrified. She's upset with Phoebe for not mentioning that Rachel was still in love with him before, but Phoebe thought (actually, everyone but Ross) thought Rachel knew. Rachel goes on a big shopping trip to get her mind off Ross, but it doesn't work. Phoebe thinks she knows the perfect way to get Rachel over Ross, and has Rachel bring a picture of Ross over to the couch. Phoebe wants Rachel to think of all the bad things about Ross. Phoebe starts describing a scenario, but it doesn't work. Phoebe decides she needs to take more a drastic measure in the form of aversion therapy. Phoebe makes Rachel look at the picture of Ross, then smacks Rachel in the head. This doesn't work either. Phoebe finally thinks of a real flaw of Ross'; he pops his gum. Rachel can't accept it as a flaw, because she does it, too. Rachel asks Phoebe if she knows where the duck food is. When Phoebe answers in the affirmative, then asks 'why?', Rachel informs her that she's going to London. Her plan is to tell Ross how she feels, so he has all the information before he marries Emily. Phoebe tries to convince Rachel not to go, but Rachel's mind is made up. Phoebe points out that Ross loves Emily, and that Rachel's going because she hopes Ross will say he loves her, too. Phoebe explains that Ross loves Emily, and that Rachel really, really can't go; she'll ruin the wedding. Rachel leaves, and Phoebe's too pregnant to run after her. Phoebe gets in a fight with the Waltham's housekeeper (June Whitfield). She calls for Emily, to tell Emily and Ross that Rachel's coming, but the housekeeper scolds her on her phone etiquette, and hangs up. Phoebe calls back, speaking with a British accent. The housekeeper tells her Emily's not at home, and that she's not at liberty to give out a number where Emily can be reached. Phoebe threatens the housekeeper, who hangs up.
Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding
Joey: gets really homesick after talking to Phoebe, who has just ordered 'the Joey special' (two pizzas). When they hang up the phone, Joey watches the intro to Cheers, making himself super homesick. He doesn't understand the food they have at the rehearsal dinner. He asks Chandler if they can go home, but obviously the can't. Joey gives a toast during the dinner, but won't stop talking about home. He feels better when the cute bridesmaid he's sitting by, Felicity (Olivia Williams), hits on him. Joey comes home the next morning, while Chandler's in the shower. The phone rings, and it's Phoebe. She tells him that Rachel's coming to ruin the wedding. When Chandler's out of the shower, he and Joey have a strange conversation about where Monica is; Joey wants to know because he wants to tell her about Rachel. At the wedding hall, Joey tells Monica the plan to watch out for Rachel. He starts putting his part into action, but he's distracted by Felicity. They start making out, and Joey misses Rachel's entrance. At the wedding, Joey holds up Mrs. Waltham's cell phone, so Phoebe can listen.
Phoebe: spends most of this time trying to talk to Chandler, Joey, or Monica, about Rachel coming to London. She can't get anyone on the phone, at first because of the housekeeper, but then because Mrs. Waltham (Jennifer Saunders) hangs up on her. She finally talks to Joey, explaining about Rachel. She listens to the ceremony on Mrs. Waltham's cell phone.
Monica and Chandler: Monica's been pretty weepy about Ross getting married for most of the episode. It gets worse when they up with Mrs. Geller at the rehearsal dinner. Mrs. Geller won't stop making snide comments about Monica not being married yet, or having a boyfriend. Chandler's night isn't going too well, either. His toast to Ross and Emily bombed, and he's embarrassed. They end up comforting one another about their failures of the night, but it just gets worse for Monica. A drunk man comes up to her and compliments her on what a nice guy Ross is--he thinks Monica is Ross's mom. Monica's humiliated, deciding no man will ever want her. Chandler tries to comfort her, but Monica's too busy pitying herself. The next morning, Ross bounces into Chandler's hotel room to announce he's getting married. Chandler's still in bed. When Ross leaves, Monica sits up beside him. They proceed to have some awkward, morning after conversation. Joey asks Chandler if he's seen Monica, and Chandler freaks out over the question. The same thing happens when Joey asks Monica where Chandler is at the wedding. Chandler misses Rachel because he's helping Ross practice saying "I do." Monica and Chandler walk down the aisle together. They discuss how wrong spending the night together was, then make plans for later.
Rachel: gets to the ticket counter at the airport. She learns there's one seat left on the next flight to London, but it's $2700 for the ticket. She doesn't think she has the much money on her credit card, but the ticket agent (Jane Carr) says Rachel can split the cost between cards; Rachel gives her five to use. The agent then asks for Rachel's passport, but Rachel's left it at the apartment. Rachel attempts to bribe the ticket agent, but to no avail. She runs home, and Phoebe tells her how proud she is that Rachel decided not to go through with it. Rachel's not heard anything of what Phoebe said, running right back out once she finds her passport. Back at the airport, Rachel has another run in with the ticket agent. The flight Rachel wanted to take already left the airport, so Rachel wants the ticket agent to call it back. The agent can't do that, and closes her ticket counter when Rachel won't leave her alone. Rachel finally gets on a flight, but is really fidgety. The guy (Hugh Laurie) she's sitting by asks her to stop, and she tries to tell him about Ross. He doesn't care. She ends up telling the whole story to the guy across the aisle. Hugh Laurie breaks in out of frustration. He agrees with Phoebe, Rachel shouldn't be going to London. Rachel explains that Emily is just a rebound. Hugh tells Rachel that it sounds like she and Ross were on a break. Rachel gets to the church, not stopped by anyone. She goes to the main room of the building, witnessing a kiss between Ross and Emily. When Emily leaves, Ross turns to Rachel; he's incredibly happy she decided to come to the wedding. They hug, and Rachel tries to tell him how she feels, but can't. She congratulates him, and Ross goes off to do his groom thing.
Ross: gets pulled into an argument between the Waltham's and the Geller's. His parents agreed to split the wedding with the Waltham's. Mr. Waltham (Tom Conti) gives Mr. Geller an itemized bill for half the expenses. When Mr. Gellar goes through the bill, he realizes he's being charged for renovations the Waltham's did on their house. Mr. Gellar refuses to pay, and wants to fight with Mr. Waltham, but Ross intervenes. Ross goes between both men, negotiating what Mr. Geller will pay for. Ross does this because he doesn't want Emily to be upset before the wedding. He gets the parent's down to one item they're still disagreeing over, and everyone decides to let it go until after the wedding. On the big day, Mr. Geller and Mr. Waltham fight over the bill. Emily shows turns up while they're fighting, and gets dragged into the mess. Ross comes upon the argument, and forces the family's to stop fighting by refusing them grandchildren. Emily's concerned that Ross has seen her in her dress before the wedding, but he assures her that nothing will go wrong. They kiss. When Emily leaves, Ross notices that Rachel's there. He's really happy she came. The ceremony starts out well, except for the fact that Joey's holding up a cell phone so Phoebe can hear. Emily says her vows, and Ross starts his. The only problem? He says Rachel instead of Emily.
This is one of the greatest episodes OF ALL TIME. It's funny, it's poignant, but most of all --it's surprising.
When traveling, I'm much like Monica. This was an upsetting realization.
I don't get why Ross is so mad at Rachel for not coming. I mean, I understand he's disappointed, but you'd think that it'd occur to him that Rachel might be upset about him getting married.
Joey standing on his map has always reminded me of Blue's Clues. Because Blue and Steve could go into paintings and stuff.
This wedding is obviously ill-fated. Caterer fail? Check. Florist fail? Check. Building torn down a few days early? Check.
Honestly, who starts tearing down a building a few days early when a wedding is scheduled there?
Also, three random people would not be allowed to run into a building that could collapse with little provocation.
I'm a little embarrassed by Joey's hat. Not the Union Jack, so much as the Dr. Seussical proportions.
A lot of people thought this look was awesome. Somehow, I think it has a lot to do with that MTV VJ, Jessie....
I've always thought what Monica and Ross do at the building was really sweet.
It's amazing how much night and Christmas lights improve the looks of a room.
It's pretty awesome that Phoebe would bodily prevent Rachel from going to London if she wasn't pregnant. You know she totally would, too. Remember "you guys are like my bitches."
The housekeeper is amazing.
Jennifer Saunders makes me happy. She's so daffy.
I don't like the whole, Joey being homesick thing. It's not like he's staying in London for an extended visit. It's, like, a week. Anyway, it's unnecessary.
This is one of the best moments in, like, all of TV history, let alone this episode.
I remember watching this the night it aired, but I can't remember how surprising it was that Chandler and Monica ended up in bed together. I think it's epic.
I love Hugh Laurie.
I don't watch House, because I decide that I have what ever disease they talk about that episode, but Hugh Laurie is, like, the best misanthrope ever.
Y'know, Ross, practicing your 'I do' with Chandler didn't really help. Maybe practice saying 'Emily' next time.
Those are some big boobs Emily has.
This gown looks so different on Emily. I honestly thought it was a different one from the one Monica wears. I'm glad she ditched that hideous veil.
When Rachel doesn't tell Ross she loves him, I mist up a little.
It's so well done. You can totally tell that she's aching to say the words, but at the last moment she realizes she can't ruin Ross's wedding day. It reminds me of Roman Holiday.
Tough questions, guys. If you were Rachel, would you tell? If you were Ross, would you want to know? Phoebe's right about Rachel telling because she wants Ross to return her feelings. It's very selfish to want to tell...that's not saying I don't understand the motivation. Sometimes I think I'd want to know, if I were in Ross's place. Other times I think it'd complicate things unnecessarily.
The wedding music has always bothered me. It sounds like something out of Lord of the Rings. Which is good in LOTR, but not so much in Friends.
Speaking of TV history...
Oh. My. God.
"Six hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica." -Chandler, while Monica freaks out about being late.
"Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird." -Phoebe, to Monica, about the weird 'check!' thing.
"LONDON, BABY!!!" -Joey, being excited.
"Okay, if you see a little version of me in there, KILL IT!" -Chandler, to Joey, when he 'goes into the map'.
"Well, up yours, too!" -Emily, to Ross, because of 'time-out' hand gesture confusion.
"How's it going to be alright?"
"Uh-huh, I see that." -Emily and Ross, when the building's partially torn down.
"Hands down, the best Abbey I've ever seen." -Joey's thoughts on Westminster Abbey.
"Man, you are Westminster Crabby!" -Joey, to Chandler.
"Well, because we thought you knew! It's so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, 'hey, you like things clean'." -Phoebe, to Rachel, on why the gang never mentioned Rachel still loved Ross.
"Well, I don't have to buy that, 'I'm with stupid.' t-shirt anymore." -Chandler, to Joey, about his hat.
"Don't you point your pants at me!" -Emily, to Ross, while they're fighting over postponing the wedding, and Ross can't put his pants on right.
"Manhattan does not have enough stores." -Rachel, to Phoebe, about how well shopping helped her not think about Ross.
"Well, I like you less." -Rachel, to Phoebe, after the aversion therapy.
"You're even dumber than I am." -Monica, to Ross, about Emily postponing the wedding.
"And that--that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the Flying Nun."
"Sometimes we were." -Ross and Monica, about why young girls wore pillowcases on their heads.
"No! Because he's in love with the British chippy!" -Phoebe, to Rachel, about why she shouldn't go to London.
"It's not over until someone says, 'I do'."
"I do! I do!" -Rachel and Phoebe, about telling Ross.
"Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter." -Phoebe, after Rachel leaves.
"She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her." -Mr. Waltham, when his wife ignores the Gellers.
"You're different here, too. You're mean in England!" -Joey, to Chandler, when Chandler tries to comfort homesick Joey.
"Why am I always pregnant when she does that!?" -Phoebe, after Rachel comes back for her passport, and leaves again.
"Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast, or Melba toast, if you will." -Chandler's toast.
"I was laughing."
"Out loud?"
"Well, I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid." -Monica and Chandler, about his toast.
"You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man!" -Mr. Geller, to Mr. Waltham, during the fight over the bill.
"He came up to me earlier, and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic." -Chandler, trying to comfort Monica after the drunk guy thinks she's Ross's mom.
"Do you think he knew I was here?" -Monica, to Chandler, after Ross comes in.
"Well, I've--I've never done that with you before." -Chandler, to Monica, after Ross leaves.
"No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a light in my eyes?!" -Chandler, to Joey, who keeps asking where Monica is.
"You know, I just want to say--that you are a horrible, horrible person." -Passenger, to Rachel, about her plans to tell Ross how she feels.
"And by the way, it seems perfectly clear that you were on a break." -Passenger, to Rachel.
"Take thee, Rachel..." -Ross, repeating his wedding vows.
"Uhh, shall I go on?" -the Minister, after Ross says the wrong name.
So, no post today. We're on the season finale, but it's a special two-part episode since Ross is getting married. Anyway, I went away for the weekend, not realizing that this episode was next. I want to give this episode my full attention, and write a really good post for it, but that wouldn't have happened if I'd stuck to the regular schedule. Stay tuned til Wednesday where I will make it up to you by writing a super good, really long TOW: Ross's Wedding post.
Ross, Joey, and Chandler: Ross comes over to Chandler and Joey's, the wedding ring in tow. He's giving the ring to his Best Man to keep safe. He also has some questions about how the bachelor party planning is coming along. Joey reminds Ross that before he comes in with rings and questions, he has to pick a Best Man. The thing is, Ross already has and it's Chandler. This start a thing between the three, because Chandler's already been Ross's Best Man at one wedding. Joey doesn't have any brothers, and he doesn't expect Chandler to ever get married, so now he's never going to get to be a Best Man. Ross gets upset because he never gets to be Chandler's Best Man if Chandler gets married. The whole thing snowballs out of control, the end result being that Chandler isn't Ross's Best Man anymore, Joey is. Joey and Ross are in Central Perk together, going over details for the bachelor party. Joey hasn't really done much planning, but they do talk about the guest list. Chandler comes in, and is teased about the first bachelor party he threw for Ross. Ross leaves, but not before explaining he wants a mellow party, with a few friends, and no strippers. Joey ignores the stripper thing, and hires one anyway. The party and the stripper are a huge success. Chandler makes an announcement that Gunther is going to be his Best Man. Chandler doesn't know Gunther's last name, and Gunther leaves. Ross thanks Joey for a great party, and Joey hands him a Ross's bachelor party t-shirt as he leaves. Chandler announces that the position for his Best Man is still open, before going to his room. Joey kicks out the remaining museum geeks, starting a conversation with the stripper (Lisa Rotondi), who's still packing up. They end up hitting it off (of course), when she thinks the chick and duck are cute. Joey asks her to stay awhile. He wakes up alone in bed, and notices that Ross's ring is gone. He wakes Chandler up, panicking about the ring being missing. Chandler can't help but laugh, seeing as Joey is officially the worst Best Man ever. Joey calls the stripper's company and the cops, but neither is any help. Chandler's really not all that worried about helping, since he comes out looking good in the situation. Ross comes by to thank them again for the great party. Joey starts asking about the ring, learning it's a priceless family heirloom. He tells Ross the stripper stole the ring. Ross flips (justifiably so), and wants to make the same calls Joey did. Joey explains the steps he's already taken to locate the ring. Chandler suggests that they set up an appointment with the stripper, using fake names, and having her come to Chandler's office. In Chandler's office, Joey gives them a background story, and Chandler warns Ross to be cool about the confrontation. The stripper arrives, Ross loses it, interrogating the stripper about the stolen ring. She really doesn't have the ring. To prove it she tells the guys how much money she makes, illustrating that she doesn't need to steal jewelry. The guys go back to Chandler and Joey's, trying to figure out where the ring could've gone, if it didn't leave Joey's bedroom. The duck waddles into the living room, and everyone realizes that the duck must've eaten it. The rush the duck to the vet, and Joey worries that his pet's going to die. There's a montage of all the guys with the duck. The vet comes out with the ring, having successfully retrieved it. The duck is fine. Joey thanks Ross for being so cool about the duck eating the ring. Joey then explains that he's going to step down as Ross's Best Man, because Chandler would be so much better. Chandler and Joey argue about this for awhile, until Ross points out that it's his wedding, and he gets to pick. He tells them they're both his Best Man (men?). They get emotional.
Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel: Everyone's in Central Perk, and Phoebe's complaining about how hard it is to be pregnant. She has to pee all the time, has back pain, can't sleep, and has severe mood swings. Later, all the girls are at Monica and Rachel's, where Phoebe is scolding one of the babies for kicking another. Joey comes in, looking for a bowl for the bachelor party. The girls want to be invited, but Joey refuses. Monica decides they're going to throw a baby shower for Phoebe, not inviting the guys. Joey could really care less and leaves, but Phoebe's really excited. Being really hormonal, Phoebe ends up crying for no reason. Monica goes shopping for the baby shower, and comes home with all these little outfits for the babies. She's showing Rachel the clothes, and mentions how much fun Phoebe'll have, dressing the babies. They both have the realization that Phoebe's not keeping the babies. To solve the issue of throwing a baby shower for a surrogate mother, they decide the gifts should all be things Phoebe can use after she's had the baby. The party is a huge failure. Someone gets Phoebe a pair of leather pants, and Phoebe's incensed--because she can't use them for another two months--that she storms into the bathroom. Monica and Rachel are hanging out in Central Perk, when Phoebe comes in. They're afraid of her, but Phoebe apologizes for the way she acted at the baby shower. She's been so focused on herself lately, that she wants to spend sometime talking about Monica and Rachel's problems. Rachel tells Phoebe that they were just talking about Ross's wedding, and Rachel not going. Phoebe tells a story about a man offering to giver her food if she slept with him while she was homeless. It didn't have anything to do with Rachel's story, Phoebe just wanted to illustrate how Rachel's problem wasn't that important. Rachel cries, and Phoebe makes fun of her for being a cry baby. Back at the apartment, Monica and Rachel make Phoebe tea. They're even more scared of her than before. Phoebe has a contraction, and Monica and Rachel enter frenzy mode, thinking Phoebe's gone into labour. Phoebe tells the girls it's probably just false labour, and nothing to worry about. Just in case, she wants Monica or Rachel to bring her 'the book.' Rachel brings her the Bible. The girls talk about the false labour, and how you can tell the difference between the real one and the fake one. Phoebe explains that some of her behavior's been motivated by the fact that she gets to carry the babies, and give birth to them, but she doesn't get to be their mom. Rachel and Monica convince her that being the surrogate and the aunt, is better than being the mom. This way Phoebe can be their friend and confidante, without having to be a parent. Phoebe feels better, and they all hug it out.
The Last Scene: Monica's in Central Perk, watching Emily gaze at the wedding ring. Ross comes up to Monica, and Monica asks why Ross got Nana's ring. It's because their mom doesn't expect Monica to ever get married. Ross says he'd give Monica the ring, but Emily's really attached to it. They go over to the couch, and Monica mentions that the ring spent two weeks in a duck's colon.
The fight that leads to Joey becoming the Best Man is really stupid. And by stupid, I mean there's really little reason for it, but, damn it's funny.
Joey totally has a point about Chandler already having been Ross's Best Man. They should've done Chandler as Best Man for Ross, Ross as Best Man for Joey, and Joey as Best Man for Chandler. If they'd decided this before hand, there'd be no issue.
The stripper reminds me of Leslie Mann.
The Stripper
Leslie Mann. Maybe it's just me. It could also be something about their voices.
Usually, when Ross flips out about something, I think he's overreacting. Here, I think he's totally right to be mad. Although...I was just out running, trying to decide how much of it would've been Joey's fault if the stripper had stolen the ring. I don't think he can be blamed for sleeping with the stripper, but he totally should've had the ring in a safer spot. Who leaves someone else's jewelry in an open box on their nightstand?
The duck montage is silly. I like the duck, but still.
Phoebe's scary.
The baby shower thing just has 'bad idea' written all over it. How did Monica and Rachel think this was going to play out?
It doesn't make sense for Phoebe to want leather pants. Phoebe is a vegetarian. Why would she want a cow to die for her to have pants?
It's been a long time since I felt the need to make fun of anyone's clothes. But this thing Monica's wearing doesn't match.
Separately, the shirt and skirt are cute. Together, not so much. Also...it appears Rachel's wearing camo.
It's the best thing ever that Phoebe asks for 'the book,' and Rachel brings her the Bible. Because that particular book is an authority on false labor. I think there's a chapter in Leviticus.
Duck colon. Ew.
Now, I'm confused. Is Nana's ring an engagement ring or wedding ring? Cause I thought it was a wedding ring, yet Emily's wearing it in the final scene. If it is the wedding ring, which Ross is letting Emily wear early, then why did he give it to Joey in the first place? So many questions...
The Magna Doodle Says
"Another One Bites the Dust."
Oh. My. God.
"I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!" -Chandler, during the Best Man argument.
"Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!!!" -Phoebe, to Joey, when he won't tell the girls about the party.
"Tell ya what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur duuuudes."
"Okay! We'll need a six-pack of Zima."
-Ross and Joey, about the guest and drink lists.
"Yeah, see, I don't think it's gonna be that difficult considering this one won't be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut."
"Oh, I'm Ross! I'm Ross! I'm too good for the hut; I'm too good for the hut." -Ross and Chandler, about Ross's first bachelor party.
"Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers."
"He just said, 'no strippers'."
"Oh, I chose not to hear that." -Joey and Chandler, about the party.
"Can you believe they make these for little people?"
"Little village people." -Monica and Rachel, when Monica comes home with a biker and cowboy costume for the babies.
"We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!" -Rachel, when they remember Phoebe isn't keeping the babies.
"Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chili on your neck." -Ross, to Chandler, after Chandler hits on the stripper.
"And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. Hardly move. Be white." -Joey, trying to impress the stripper with the duck's tricks.
"I'll let you play with my duck." -Joey, to the stripper.
"The stripper stole the ring!! THE STRIPPER STOLE THE RING!!!" -Joey, waking up and finding the stripper and ring gone.
"Well, let's see, it's not. Really like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like, y'know, high school crap that nobody really gives, y'know..." -Phoebe, to Rachel, about Rachel's problems with Ross.
"It's okay! I'm gonna-I'm gonna-I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!" -Rachel, helping when Phoebe has a contraction.
"You be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be, uh, Mr. Wong."
"Diverse." -Joey and Ross, making up fake names for when they meet the stripper again.
"I still don't get how you know when it's false labour."
"Well, do you see any babies?" -Rachel and Phoebe.
"I'm gonna be, y'know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking tequila."
"Some moms do that." -Phoebe and Monica, about what Phoebe gets to do after she has babies instead of raise them.
"Did you know that ring spent two days in a duck's colon?" -Monica to Emily, about the ring.
I identify the most with Chandler and Rachel. I have alternately wanted to dance in a fountain, own a chick and a duck, and eat my meals at a Foosball table. I find the most interesting uses for the phrase, "Gum would be perfection." I lament that the movies today are not more like the ones from Hollywood's Golden Age. I have a nearly sickening love for pop culture, musicals, and melodramatic novels of the 19th and 20th Centuries...
