TOW: Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss

Rachel: gets a job interview at Ralph Lauren to be the coordinator of the women's collection. She's super excited as she tells everyone in the coffee shop. Phoebe offers to go over her interview skills with her, and praises Rachel's handshake. Rachel comes home from the interview, all happiness obliterated. She tells the others that it started out really well, Mr. Zelner seemed to really like her and she made him laugh. But at the end of the interview, Mr.Zelner shook her hand, and leaned in to open the door for her; Rachel misread the signals, and kissed Mr. Zelner on the cheek. She's sure that she has no chance of getting the job. Monica comes into the living room, excitedly tell Rachel that she got a call from Ralph Lauren requesting a second interview. Rachel thinks Monica's joking, and refuses to believe it's true. Joey thinks that Rachel only got the second interview because of the kiss, and now Mr. Zelner expects sex. Monica and Chandler try to convince Rachel it's not true, but the damage is done. As she's waiting for her second interview to begin, Rachel chews on a pen. She walks into Mr. Zelner's office with a huge ink blot on her bottom lip. Mr. Zelner keeps gesturing to his lip, to indicate Rachel has something on hers, but Rachel doesn't get it. She thinks he's hitting on her, yells at him, and storms out of his office. When she gets home, she starts to tell the gang what happened, starting with asking "You'll never guess what happened!" They all start gesturing to their lips, like Mr. Zelner did, and Rachel realizes her mistake. Rachel sets up a meeting with Mr. Zelner to apologize for her behavior. It's pretty awkward, but she explains her actions, then lists the reasons Mr. Zelner should hire her. With some reluctance, Mr. Zelner offers Rachel the job. Rachel wants to hug him, but is advised against it. Instead, she goes in for a handshake and grabs Mr. Zelner's crotch. She scurries away in embarrassment, but with a new job.

Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe: Monica and Phoebe start butting heads at the beginning of the episode, when Monica wants Phoebe to judge her handshake. Phoebe exclaims that Monica's hurting her, putting Monica on the defensive. Things between them get worse when Monica witnesses Phoebe and Gary saying good-bye to one another. Phoebe's all sad about Gary getting called to a crime scene, making Monica comment on how great Phoebe and Gary are. Phoebe tells Monica how great it is to be in that beginning, can't get enough of each other, stage of a relationship. Then she asks Monica when that phase ended for her and Chandler. Monica gets defensive (again), claiming that she and Chandler are still in that phase. As Monica's claims heat up, Chandler comes over to return a broom. Monica jumps on him. Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler all hang out in Central Perk together. Monica invites Phoebe and Gary out to the movies with her and Chandler, but Phoebe declines the offer. She and Gary are planning to spend the night in bed, pretty much what they'd been doing most of the day. Monica laughs off the movie invitation, saying she only asked to see what Phoebe was doing later, so she wouldn't walk in on Monica and Chandler doing it. Monica pulls Chandler to the other side of the room, telling him they have to run upstairs and have sex right away, to beat Phoebe and Gary. Chandler doesn't see what the big deal is, then realizes he's saying no to sex. They run upstairs. The two couples go out to dinner together, where Monica brags about all the sex she and Chandler had the night before. As they're talking, Monica notices a twig in Phoebe's hair. Phoebe tells her that she and Gary took a walk in the park before dinner, and decided to have sex. Chandler had left to use the restroom, so Monica follows him, planning to have sex in a public place. In the bathroom, Chandler declines her offer of sex, not feeling comfortable doing it in a men's restroom. Monica explains that she's sad that she and Chandler aren't in the early phase of their relationship anymore. Chandler agrees that it's sad, but says that he likes their relationship as it is. Monica feels better, and Chandler celebrates not being the one to freak out.

Joey and Ross: Ross is quite pleased with the fact that his apartment is right across from Monica and Rachel's. He mimes things in his window for the pleasure (read: irritation) of the others across the street. Joey gets stuck watching Ross's act, but also catches the attention of a hot girl in Ross's building. The girl waves Joey over, and he calculates where her apartment should be. He runs across the street, arriving at what he believes is the correct door. He knocks, and Ross answers. Ross invites Joey in to play in front of the window, but Joey runs back across the street. Much to Joey's dismay, the hot girl is gone. Joey comforts Rachel with a hug after her disastrous interview, and sees the hot girl again. He runs off to find her, but ends up at Ross's place again. Joey starts going door-to-door in Ross's building, looking for the hot girl, but with no luck. He roams up and down the halls yelling "hot girl!" hoping to find her. Ross is checking his mail when another tenant hangs a sign to warn people to call the police when they see a man matching Joey's description. Ross makes an ill timed joke and the woman at the mail box, Joey's hot girl, gives him a look. Ross introduces himself, but she already knows who he is because of the handyman incident. Ross thinks she's a lost cause, but she praises him for not contributing when he'd just moved in. Ross asks her out for coffee, and gets her number. Oh, and her name is Jen, and not Hot Girl. Later, Joey is at Monica and Rachel's. Monica points out that the hot girl is back, but Joey doesn't care because he can never find her apartment. Monica figures out that Joey was counting wrong and directs him to the right place. Joey rushes across the street, just as Jen is getting her coat to go out with Ross. When Joey knocks, Ross answers the door, making Joey think he's at the wrong apartment again. Joey storms off. Because of Ross's window shenanigans, Monica and Rachel borrow Baywatch cardboard cut-outs from Chandler and Joey, and put pictures of their faces on the bodies. Ross thinks the girls are watching him, but really they're out at the movies. Genius.

• I totally just forgot how to spell genius.
  

• This episode lacks awesomeness. I like it, but not much happens. Plus, lately large doses of Monica irritate me.
  

• Rachel's storyline is epic. I totally get why she thought Mr. Zelner was going in for a kiss, but still why??

That's really an awkward move, though. Going to open the door, while shaking hands.

• Everyone acts like Rachel laid one on the guy, but she just kisses his cheek. There are worse things. (Like grabbing his crotch).

I'm envious of the way she looks in that skirt. If I ever tried to wear that, I'd look freaking Amish.

• I know this has got to get old after awhile, but the window miming thing is hilarious. Seriously.

Ross's interpretation of the first seen of Jaws.

• I want to run around the halls of a random apartment building yelling "Hot Girl!!!"

It almost seems like a baseball stadium vendor, but he's offering women instead of beer.

• This is why you don't chew on pens before a job interview

I don't like her outfit. It's too big. And what the hell is that fabric?

• Ugh, Monica's competitive thing gets on my nerves in this one. You know it's bad when Chandler's the one who has to talk you down.

I'm pretty sure this is Chandler's orgasm face.

• Chandler did almost have sex in men's room, though. With Susie in TO: After the Superbowl.
  

• And kudos for that one, writers. So often Chandler is the spaz, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. For once he gets to be the sane one, who is more than happy with the way things are going with Monica.
  

• Okay, Joey continuously going to the wrong apartment, then getting the right one, but finding Ross on the other side of the door is amazing.

• I don't really like Gary. He's not a jerk or anything, but I find him to be the opposite of attractive.

This isn't the most flattering picture, but still.

• Yasmine and Pamela

You'd think that Ross would notice the lack of clothes.

Oh. My. God.

"I got a pair marked XS, I gotta tell you, there was no room for excess anything in there." -Joey, complaining about Ralph Lauren underwear.

"Did I squeeze too hard?"
"Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler." -Monica and Phoebe, after their handshake.

"But I counted, you're not supposed to live here!" -Joey, trying to find the hot girl, but ending up at Ross's.

"God, I woke the beast." -Phoebe, after getting Monica riled up about her relationship with Chandler.

"I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, 'well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets'." -Rachel, describing the good part of her interview.

"Well, you could've tried not kissing him." -Chandler, explaining to Rachel what she could've done differently.

"Damn it! Did you move?!?!" -Joey, looking for the hot girl and ending up at Ross's again.

"I'm Ross." -Ross, to Joey, when Joey freaks out about being at Ross's.

"Do you happen to have a got girl in there?" -Joey, to an old man.

"You got ink on your lip." -Ross, to Rachel, after her failed second interview.

"I mean, just to impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this why? Get your coat." -Chandler, trying to talk some sense in to Monica.

"You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently, he's running around looking for some sort of hot girl."
"Who isn't?" - a man and Ross.

"Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some, like, hot girl parallel universe, or something." -Joey, explaining to Monica why he doesn't care about the hot girl anymore.

"I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting!" -Joey.

"So there you go, you got--you got courage, you got integrity, you got...courage again, and not litigious." -Rachel, listing her good qualities for Mr. Zelner.

"Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean." -Chandler, to Monica, while they're at dinner with Phoebe and Gary.

"Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta 10-100... That's pee-pee." -Chandler, because Gary got him a badge.

"You see, I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?"
"No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out." -Monica and Chandler, when she wants to have sex in the restaurant's bathroom.

"You freaked out big time, okay?! And I fixed it! We have switched places. I am the relationship king, and you are the crazy, irrational screw up!" -Chandler, celebrating making Monica feel better about their relationship.