TOW: Rachel Smokes

Rachel: has her first day of work at Ralph Lauren. It's going pretty awkwardly, as with all first days at a new job. She discusses which dress design she likes better with her boss, Kim (Joanna Gleason), and her co-worker, Nancy (Megan Ward). Kim and Nancy like the same dress, but Rachel disagrees. She's open about her opinion, which Kim and Nancy admire, but Rachel over-interprets their teasing. Kim decides she needs a cigarette break, and that they'll make the final decision on the dress when she and Nancy return. Rachel tells the gang that when Kim and Nancy got back, they'd already made the decision without her. She feels like she's going to miss out on everything if she doesn't go on the smoke breaks, too. Monica thinks that Rachel should go outside with them, not to smoke, but for fresh air. The next day, Rachel follows Kim and Nancy to the smoking area. She tries standing with them, but the smoke keeps blowing in her face, so Kim and Nancy move. Rachel panics, bums a cigarette off of a guy, and goes to stand with them. Kim and Nancy are shocked, since Rachel told them she didn't smoke. Rachel explains that she thought they meant they smoked pot. It's an incredibly uncomfortable moment. Rachel goes to the coffee shop, intending to tell Monica and Chandler about her day. Monica's first comment is that Rachel stinks. Rachel explains that she accompanied Kim and Nancy on their smoke breaks, but Chandler realizes that Rachel actually smoked. Rachel explains she only did it to keep her job, but Monica leaves cause Rachel smells too bad. Rachel smokes with her boss and co-worker again, but this time says she wants to quit. Kim and Nancy want to stop, too, but can never do it. Rachel decides they should all quit together, getting the other two to agree. A day later, Kim asks Rachel how she's doing with quitting. Rachel tells Kim it's going great. Nancy abruptly leaves the office to copy something, and Kim follows because she's suddenly hungry. Rachel realizes they're smoking again, and goes to the smoking area to catch them. She's all ready to light up again, but Kim and Nancy refuse to let her because Rachel's doing so good. Kim says she'll fire Rachel if she catches Rachel smoking. Rachel goes back upstairs, but before she does she overhears Kim asking Nancy to accompany her on the Paris trip.

Ross and Joey: Ross, Carol, and Ben come into Central Perk celebrating. They'd been at the park, playing with Ben, when Ben was noticed by a commercial casting director. The casting director gives Ross and Carol a business card, encouraging them to have Ben try-out for a role in a soup commercial. Joey recognizes the casting director's name, they're really big in the commercial industry, which makes Joey jealous. He's tried for a long time to be discovered, and Ben doesn't have to do anything to get an audition. Ross gets ready to go to the audition with Ben and Carol, and mentions that the commercial also has a role for a dad. Joey's excited, deciding to audition to play Ben's father. Joey's given permission to try-out. He points out a kid who's done a lot of commercial work, Raymond, and Ross gets defensive. Ross is sure that Ben will get the part, but he doesn't believe that Joey will play the dad, hurting Joey's feelings. After the audition, Ross and Joey go to Monica's, looking all sad. Everyone knows it's an act, Ben and Joey got callbacks. At the callback, Ross and Joey are extremely nervous. Joey's not gone on many callbacks, so he's not sure how it's all going to go. Ben, Joey, Raymond, and another man are announced as the top choices for the roles. But Ross and Joey are told that Ben and Joey won't be father and son because they don't look enough alike. Later that evening, Joey comes home and Ross is over. Joey offers to back out of the audition, so there won't be any weirdness. Ross agrees that Joey's decision is the best idea, but Joey's furious. He was hoping Ross would pull Ben out of the audition, to give Joey a better chance. Joey argues that it's his career, and Ben's just a kid, but Ross has no intention of pulling Ben out of the audition. They fight over which kid will eat the soup better. At the final audition, Carol asks Joey to watch Ben for minute. Joey tries to convince Ben to drop-out of the audition, but in doing so reminds himself how much he loves acting. Ross comes in, and they have a bit of a stand-off, but Joey's called in for his audition. It should be really simple, but Joey keeps blowing the line by saying "mmm, noodle soup!" instead of "mmmm, soup!" He doesn't get the part. During Rachel's surprise party, Ross apologizes to Joey, especially since Joey's audition didn't go well. Ross explains that he thinks Joey sabotaged himself so Ben could get the role. Joey agrees that could be the case, mostly cause it makes him look better. Ross tells Joey that Ben didn't get the role anyway.

Monica and Phoebe: When Rachel leaves for her first day of work, Phoebe suggests to the others that the start planning Rachel's birthday. They point out that Rachel's birthday isn't for another month, but Phoebe explains that it'll just make the surprise party more surprising. Everyone's on board, but Monica and Phoebe are doing all the planning. The first idea is to have an intimate party with Rachel's closest friends. Later, Phoebe tricks Rachel into going to get coffee, so that she and Monica can have some time to plan the party. However, Monica's already done all the planning, leaving Phoebe with nothing to do. Phoebe's hurt, but doesn't really say anything. Monica lets Phoebe be in charge of cups and ice. Phoebe brings two giant trash bags over to Joey and Chandler's, asking them if she can store the bags there until Rachel's party. She explains that the bags are full of cups, cause that's all Monica let her be in charge of. She's going crazy with the cups to teach Monica a lesson, she has more trash bags full downstairs. At the party, Phoebe's made everything out of cups. There are hats, a chandelier, centerpieces, and streamers all made out of cups. Monica's pretty furious. Phoebe's also supplied three different kinds of ice, chipped, cubed, and dry. Oh, and there are sno-cones! Which are a much bigger hit with the guests than Monica's finger food. Monica kind of apologizes for doing all the planning herself, and they decide to plan Joey's party together. Phoebe says she'll bring the beer, leaving Monica with nothing to do. Rachel comes home and is incredibly surprised. Not only is her birthday not for another month, but Chandler's is actually before hers.

Chandler: really wants to smoke. He tells Rachel all about the glories of smoking, and wants to smoke when she does. At the party, he steals a pack of cigarettes from a woman's purse (he's sad everyone forgot his birthday), but is caught by Monica. Monica says he has to choose between her and the cigarettes. He chooses Monica, but only because the cigarettes were menthol. He goes to Ralph Lauren to pick Rachel up for lunch, and ends up at the smoking area. He takes a drag from Kim's cigarette, before running upstairs.

• I do feel a little bad for Joey. He's been a failed actor for years, but Ben deserves a chance, too. He's just a little kid for christ's sake.

• How come Chandler doesn't realize his birthday comes first when they're all planning to throw Rachel a surprise party? I don't think he can be mad if he forgets his birthday, too.
  

• Ross could've mentioned that the casting people were looking for a guy to play the dad when Joey was flipping out in Central Perk.
  

• Oh, Chandler is Ben's godfather, but Joey thinks he is.
  

• It's totally admirable that Rachel is honest about her opinions on the first day of the job. She'd do anything to fit in (obviously), but still manages to be truthful.

Nancy seems like a bitch.

• Joanna Gleason, who plays Kim, was on The West Wing as Leo's lawyer/love interest. Megan Ward also guest starred on The West Wing, but I have no idea who her character is.

• Seriously, Monica's getting on my nerves.

See, total bitch face.

• Pouting

• Phoebe and her cups

• Joey trying to get Ross to pull Ben out of the audition is a douche move.
  

I'd be pissed, too.

• I don't smoke, nor do I like inhaling large quantities of cigarette smoke, but I think Monica's reaction is ridiculous. It'd be different if Rachel was, like, smoking in her face, or something.
  

• The "mmm, noodle soup!" thing is hilarious. Actually, I like that line better than the "mmm, soup!"

• Rachel's understandably disappointed about not being asked to go on the Paris trip, but she's only worked there for a week. Clearly, accompanying Kim on the trip is going to be offered to the person with the most experience. It also reminds me of The Devil Wears Prada.

• This is the best use of cups since...well, ever.

Phoebe's fez is epic.

• I want dry ice at my next birthday part!

• This isn't awkward.

For some reason, this makes me think "Look what you're doing to Chandler!"

The Magna Doodle Says

"Joey," unreadable name "wants you to call her."


Oh. My. God

"I'm always on the swings!" -Joey, complaining about Ben being offered an audition while he was swinging in Central Park.

"Uh, well, y'know what? I don't think I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day." -Rachel, to Chandler, after he asks her to bring back some polo shirts.

"Okay, great, so do you want to do it together?"
"I would love to do it together!"
"They're gonna do it together." -Phoebe, Monica, and Joey.

"Weirder than watching his two moms make out?" -Chandler, when they're speculating on how weird it'll be for Ross to watch someone else play Ben's dad.

"I look more like him than you do!" -Joey, to Ross, when they argue over the likelihood of Joey playing Ben's dad.

"Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories...about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke." -Rachel, to Kim, on why she doesn't smoke.

"It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!"
"Yeah, it is the best." -Rachel and Chandler, about smoking.

"Oh good, because, uh, we got Rachel 800 gallons of water." -Chandler, to Phoebe, as she's bringing in all the cups.

"Y'know, I rued the day once...didn't get a whole lot else done." -Chandler, to Phoebe.

"Well, I mean, let me get the door first. Oh hi, No One." -Chandler, when Joey wants Chandler to take his side in his fight with Ross.

"Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?"
"You just give him a spoon, baby!" -Ross and Joey, arguing about the commercial casting.

"Your kid's name is Raymond!"
"Yeah?! So's yours!" -Ross and Joey, still fighting.

"You look happy and sick; you smoked!" -Chandler, to Rachel.

"I wish I had to smoke for my career..." Chandler.

"We could be like the Patch Sisters!" -Rachel, as she convinces Kim and Nancy to quit smoking.