TOW: the Butt

Monica: is all neurotic this episode, the focus being on her obsessive organizations of the house. Monica goes back to her apartment to see that Rachel cleaned. Being helpful, Rachel moved the green ottoman to sit in front of the tv as an extra seat around the coffee table. Monica can't stand the new arrangement and moves it back. Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler give her a hard time about being a neat freak. Monica says she doesn't have to be that way. At the end of the episode, she leaves her shoes in the living room when she goes to bed. She can't sleep, worrying about the shoes not being in their proper place.

Joey: is in a play! 'Freud! The Musical.' It's pretty horrible, but Joey gets a talent agent's card and is signed. He gets a job, fairly quickly, as Al Pacino's butt double. He's embarrassed, but mostly excited. He goes to shoot his scene, but takes it incredibly seriously, giving his butt motivation. He ends up getting fired, for 'acting too much.' The rest of the group comforts him, and he believes this might not have been his big break.

Chandler: At Joey's play, Chandler meets a beautiful woman, Aurora (Sofia Milos), who agrees to go out with him. Chandler has a great time on their first date, but learns that Aurora is married to Rick and has a boyfriend, Ethan. Chandler's okay with this at first, but as his feelings for Aurora grow, he stops being able to share well. Chandler ends it with her because of his jealousy. And because Aurora has another new man, Andrew.

• Chandler is absolutely adorable when he talks to Aurora the first time. There's lots of mumbling and awkwardness. I just want to,like, pinch his cheek or something, he's so cute.
  

• Ross, Monica, and Phoebe all look at a 'Magic Eye' book in Central Perk. Ross can't see the hidden images and gets frustrated when everyone else can. This moment was basically my childhood. I understand Ross's pain. Stupid, optical illusion, trickery.
  

• Aurora was in the Israeli army. I have a hard time picturing this woman in an army of any kind.
  

• One of Phoebe's outfits in this episode kills my brain.

I usually like her boho-chic fashions, but uh, just no. It's brown AND paisley. I cringe. This is elderly school teacher. Usually Phoebe's outfits are matched with really eclectic accessories (peace sign earrings, anyone?) making her the Claudia Kishi of the 'Friends' bunch, but not here.

• Best. moment. evarrrr!!!!!

Days and days on end will I have this stuck in my head. Days, I say. Even better, though, on the DVD everyone but Monica sings and dances the 'Freud' song at the end. Alas, no clip was to be found.

Oh. My. God.

"The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y'know it's not just 'Freud', it's 'Freud!'" -Phoebe, talking about Joey's new play.

"God. I feel violated." -Rachel, after Joey's play.

"Loved your work. Call me a sap." -Joey, reading Estelle's message and not understanding ASAP.

"When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is." -Joey, during the conversation about Aurora's many men.

"Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out." -Chandler, after Rachel cleaned the apartment and Monica starts freaking out.

"Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook."
"Alright, you madcap gal, try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away."
"Why not?"
"Because you're a kook!" -Monica and Ross, discussing Monica's orderliness.

"Oh no, it's terrific, it's-it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business." -Chandler, making fun of Joey being Al Pacino's butt double.

TOW: the East German Laundry Detergent

Rachel and Ross: Rachel's dad has called her, promising her a Mercedes convertible if she'll come home. Neither of her parents believe she can make it on her own. Rachel and Monica have plans to do laundry Saturday night and Ross is going to join to spend time with Rachel. Monica bails to go on a double-date with Joey. Chandler tells Ross that without Monica there he and Rachel are now on a date. Rachel thinks that by doing laundry correctly she'll prove she's able to live on her own. It doesn't go well, Rachel dyes all of her whites pink. There's also a mean laundry lady, who takes advantage of Rachel. Ross fights with the lady the first time, but by the end of the episode Rachel is able to stand up for herself.

Monica and Joey: Angela, a woman Joey dumped, walks into Central Perk and Joey is all interested in her again. He starts talking to her, but learns she is now dating Bob. In a desperate attempt to try and win Angela back, Joey schedules a double date with his 'girlfriend' Monica. Joey tells Monica it's a blind date and that Bob is Angela's brother. On the date, Joey tries to create tension between Angela and Bob, while Monica is totally creeped out by how Angela and Bob act with each other. When Monica finally realizes that Bob and Angela are not siblings, but a couple, she stays and helps Joey break them up.

Phoebe and Chandler: Chandler has to break up with his girlfriend, Janice(Maggie Wheeler), and Phoebe has to break up with Tony. Chandler is really nervous, so they decide to do the break-ups together in Central Perk. Phoebe breaks up with Tony in about five seconds, but Chandler is having trouble. He drinks, like, fifteen cups of espresso and is spazzing out. In a burst of caffeine induced hyperness he hits Janice in the eye. She goes to the bathroom to fix her contact. When she comes back, Phoebe talks to her and it takes about five seconds for the break-up to be completed.

• The beginning Central Perk conversation is about how women can unhook their bras and pull it out of their sleeve....is this really that impressive? I never realized.
  

• Rachel is wearing yet another denim tank top. the overabundance is about to kill me.
  

• Ugly naked guy lays kitchen tile.
  

• This is Ross's bedroom:

with the bad picture, the violin, and dinosaur. The only thing that seems to belong is the dinosaur. When the scene first started I thought Ross and Chandler where in a waiting room of some sort. Or,like, a Hampton Inn. Either way, it's unpleasant.

• Chandler makes fun of Ross's fabric softener because of Snuggles. Ross buys "Uberweiss" instead. I prefer the Snuggles.
  

• Who in their right mind would let Janice be a photographer? Janice.
  

• Janice is a few levels less irritating than Fran Dreshcer, but I. Love. Janice. Seriously and Deeply. If ever there was a character I love to hate (and hate to love) it's Janice.

• Mean laundromat lady:
  

Yikes.

• Bob is supposed to be hot

I really don't get it. What's with the hair?

• There's this moment, which, while not being one of the best moments ever, is still pretty awesome.

Awww, Ross.

Oh.My.God.
"No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's this horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note." -Chandler, talking about why he doesn't want to break up with Janice.

"That guy, he burns me up." -Ross's reaction upon learning that Rachel's dad offered her a Mercedes to move back home.

"Ok, ok, now what's wrong with my Snuggles? What? It says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy. Y'know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way." -Ross, showing how Snuggles reflects his personality.

"Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies." -Chandler, giving Phoebe an option of something they could do together, besides break up with their significant others.

"Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin."
"Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle." -Rachel and Ross.

"Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing." -Ross, not wanting to tell Rachel she dyed her clothes pink.

"Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep." -Rachel, examining her pink clothes.

"Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like...cocktails in Appalachia." -Monica, being icked out by Angela and Bob.

TOW: George Stephanopoulos

First off, this:

is George Stephanopoulos.

Anyway...

Ross, Joey, and Chandler: Joey and Chandler have tickets to a Rangers, Penguins hockey game and invite Ross along. While looking at the tickets, Ross realizes that it is October 20th, the date he and Carol first had sex. He mopes, reminiscing about that night and driving Chandler and Joey crazy. At the game, Ross is hit in the face with the puck and has to go to the ER. Chandler and Joey have ER fun, Ross continues to be sad, we learned that Carol was Ross's first and he's never been with another woman. Ross gets fixed, fights a kid for his puck, and hits the cranky ER receptionist in the face with said puck(accidentally). The guys go back to Monica and Rachel's where everyone plays Twister.

Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe: Rachel gets her first pay check, but is disappointed over how little she's paid. Rachel's rich-bitch friends from home come to Central Perk to see her. One of these women is pregnant, one is engaged, and one is getting promoted. Rachel feels like everyone is moving ahead, but she's starting her life over. She freaks out and freaks Monica and Phoebe out. They get drunk. Also, they're accidentally delivered political adviser George S.'s pizza. George lives right across the street, so they spy on him and his girlfriend. There are drunken shenanigans and balcony fun! By the time the guys get back from the game, the girls all feel better about their lives.

• Phoebe is staying the night with Monica and Rachel. Phoebe's grandma has a new boyfriend and they're deaf and insecure in bed, which keeps Phoebe awake at night Geriatric sex! Ahhhh!

• Finally! Other people in Central Perk pay attention to stuff! When Rachel's old friends come in and go, "EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!" customers actually look at them like they're idiots. Thank God.

• Who names their kid Kiki? Ew. She's incredibly stupid. At least the name fits.

• The pregnant one? On the left?
  

Her face is the same color as her hair. How?

• Ross irritates the crap out of me this episode. I don't generally hate Ross, buy oh my God. I just want him to shut-up. I rejoice in my soul when he gets hit with the puck because he can't talk. I could care less that October 20th is the first time he slept with Carol. When we find out it wasn't just his first time with Carol, it was his first time ever, I'm so fed up with him I can not find an ounce of sympathy in my body. Chandler and Joey feel the same.
  

• Chandler has a battle of wills with the mean ER receptionist. Growing up I was sure that all hospital receptionists were like this. When I go to the ER (admittedly not a frequent occurrence) I expect it to be similar to this episode.

• George lives across the street from Monica and Rachel and they're soooooo excited. Why is he never mentioned ever again?
  

• Rachel drops a pillow off the balcony and a dude brings it back. How'd he know what apartment it belonged to? Maybe Monica labeled it?

• I miss Twister.
  

Oh. My. God.
"Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?"
"Probably kill myself!"
"...Excuse me?"
"Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live."
"Joey, uh-omnipotent."
"You are? Ross I'm sorry!" -Monica, Joey, and Ross.

"You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover."
"The hell with hockey, let's all do that!" -Ross and Joey, after Ross realizes it's the anniversary of he and Carol's first time.

"Look, look, I have elbows!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" -Phoebe, mocking Rachel's friends.

"Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's!!! What? I thought we were trying to find stuff." -Joey, breaking in on Ross's memories of he and Carol's first night.

"Okay, but Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist." -Rachel, explaining that Phoebe's Jack and the Beanstalk comparison is not applicable.

"Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?"
"Big Bird's friend." - Rachel and Phoebe.

"Hey, that's not for you bitch!" -Phoebe, yelling at George's lady friend eating their pizza.

"Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?"
"Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you..." -Chandler and Ross, as Chandler tries to figure out why Ross is so upset.

"Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs." -Chandler, making fun of Ross's bandaged nose.

"I've got magic beans."- Rachel, telling the Visa card people she's okay.

TOW: the Thumb

Monica: Begins dating a man named Alan. She's worried about introducing him to the gang, but eventually she relents. Everyone loves Alan, but Monica isn't too excited about him. She decides to break up with Alan and everyone is devastated, acting like she is breaking up with them. When she breaks up with Alan he's relieved because he doesn't like Monica's friends.

Phoebe: This is the first episode where Phoebe gets her own storyline. It starts with Phoebe having $500 extra dollars in her bank account. She doesn't want to keep it, but when she notifies the bank they give her another $500 and a football phone. Phoebe gives the $1000 bucks and the football phone to a homeless woman, Lizzie (Beth Grant, aka the 'he asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus' lady from "Donnie Darko!"). In return, Lizzie buys Phoebe a soda, in which Phoebe finds a thumb. The soda company gives Phoebe $7,000.

Chandler: Helps Joey prepare for an audition. The character Joey is reading for is supposed to smoke, but Joey doesn't know how. Chandler tries to show Joey how it's done and ends up smoking again himself. Everyone attempts to help him quite (even Alan), but Chandler missed smoking too much. In the end, Phoebe says she'll give him the $7000 if he never smokes again.

Ross, Rachel, and Joey don't have storylines this episode. Joey hasn't had one yet in the series. Poor Joey.

• The episode starts with everyone discussing common phrases used during dating and what these phrases really mean. Rachel's all surprised about these 'codes,' which makes no sense because she was kind of a slut in high school.
  

• This is the first time we see Joey and Chandler's apartment. They have house plants. Cause all bachelors have those.
  

• Rachel is a really, really bad waitress and gives everyone the wrong drinks. But...if I were Rachel, I'd have assumed that those drinks belonged with those people. Maybe it's just me...

• Chandler tries to hide his smoking. This happens in Central Perk:

Does it strike anyone else as strange that nobody in Central Perk cares that a guy is hanging off a couch? I mean, you'd think someone would be making a 'what the eff???' face.

• Monica dresses like every teacher I had in grade school. This bothers me.

• Rachel wears, like, three different sleeveless denim shirts this episode. Rachel is too fashion conscious to wear the same type of shirt that many times in a row.

• Rachel, Ross, Chandler, and Joey play softball with Alan. Rachel doesn't play sports. They never play softball like this again. It's never even mentioned. And what kind of league are they in?
  

• I want Phoebe's luck! I wish my bank gave me $1000 and a football phone. How could anybody be upset by free money?? I'd even take the thumb-soda money! Though, I'd much prefer to do it without all the bother of the severed thumb. (How does a thumb get into a soda? I didn't realize cola companies used a lot of cutting devices in their production process.)
  

• Speaking of the thumb-soda, Phoebe's response when she opens the can is "Heh." Awesome.
  

• Chandler lists everyone's faults and they all start fighting. The only faults that remain during the series are Rachel's bad waitressing and Ross's over-pronouncing words.
  

• The gang loves Alan and Alan hangs out with them all.the.time. It turns out Alan doesn't like them. So, why go through all the bother? They play softball, he tells Chandler to stop smoking, they rent boats...pointless.

• Another best. moment. ever:
  

Oh. My. God

"That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm." -Ross, still believing his parents did not put his dog to sleep.

"I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell. Alone." -Chandler, making fun of Joey's smoking skills.

"Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand."
-Chandler, teaching Joey to smoke.

"Oh, Satan's minions at work again!" -Chandler's response to Phoebe's bank account having $500 extra in it.

"Yeah, but if you spend it, it'd be like shopping!" -Rachel's thoughts on what Phoebe should do with the extra money.

"There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a....while..." -Phoebe's nursery rhyme.

"I personally could have a gallon of Alan." -Chandler.

"Hey, y'know, I've had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it." -Chandler, telling Joey and Ross why he'll continue to smoke.

"God, he's good"
"If only he were a woman."
"Yeeeaaaahhh."-Rachel and Ross discussing Alan.

"Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?" -Chandler, trying to quite smoking.

"Yeah, he could row like a Viking." -Ross reminiscing over Alan's boating skillz.

TOW: The Sonogram at the End

Ross: This is largely a Ross centric episode. At the beginning he finds out the his ex-wife, Carol (played by Anita Baron) is pregnant. The baby is Ross's and Carol wants to raise the baby with Ross and her life-partner, Susan ( Jessica Hecht). Ross and Monica have dinner with their parents (Christina Pickles and Elliot Gould), where Ross tells them that Carol is a lesbian and that she is having his baby. The episode ends with Ross, Susan, and Carol at the OBGYN arguing. Their fight cools as they hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Oh yeah, we learn that Ross is a paleontologist and works at a museum.

Rachel: Is still dealing with having left Barry (Mitchell Whitfield) at the altar. She has to return her engagement ring, which she accidentally loses inside the lasagna Monica baked for her parents. She visits Barry at his office (he's an Orthodontist), gives back the ring, and learns that Barry is now seeing Mindy, the woman who was Rachel's maid-of-honor.

Monica: Is freaking out over her parents impending visit. Ross is the favorite child and Monica's role is to act as the scapegoat. Monica cleans frantically and spends a lot of time making lasagna, which is ruined when Rachel loses her ring in it. During dinner,Mrs. Gellar passive-aggressively criticizes Monica while praising Ross. Monica forces Ross to tell their parents that Carol left Ross to be with another woman and is now carrying Ross's child. Monica cries (with happiness) when seeing the sonogram.

Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Neither of these characters have their own storyline, but act more as secondary characters utilized for laughs. We do learn that Chandler is an only child and Phoebe is a twin.

• I have mixed feelings about the very beginning of this episode. The group is discussing how men and women have different feelings regarding what's important during sex. It's a witty conversation with kissing and foreplay compared to a stand-up comedian, while sex is the main event. The conversation is amusing, but is also incredibly battle-of-the-sexes, men-and-women-are-different, cliche.
  

• Ross's reaction when he learns that Carol is having his baby:
  

Brilliant.

• Monica gets more characterization in this episode. This is the first instance viewers see her all neurotic about cleaning. I heart neat-freak Monica. The favorite sibling tension between her and Ross is good, too; plus, you can never go wrong with Christina Pickles and Elliot Gould. They're, like, the perfect kind of crazy parents. Judy Gellar is just so--so mean, picking on Monica's cooking, her job, her cleaning skills, her boyfriendless-ness....On the other hand this seems like every other sit-com parent in the history of ever. At least it's well done here.
  

• Joey is much, much better. Instead of having a Beatle's bowl, his hair's slicked back and coated in gel. Like all good 90's hair should be. Matt LeBlanc has a better grasp on the character, but there really isn't much for him to do this episode. He's just sweeter and less douche-y; more harmless, and dopey like the Joey fans expect.
  

• UGLY NAKED GUY!!!! Is it wrong that I want to have an unattractive, nudist neighbor to spy on? Cause I do. Lots. They make it look like such fun!

• I never realized before, but Rachel pretty much works at Central Perk to give the characters more reason to hang out there; especially after it's closed. Not a bad thing, but probably unrealistic (in an awesome way).

• I love, love, love, love, love Susan. Her deadpan line deliveries make my life.
  

• Carol is played by Anita Baron in this episode; she is quickly replaced by Jane Sibbett, which I am really very grateful for. It's probably because I'm so used to Sibbett as Carol, but Baron is... She's too doll-faced and sweet. There's also this:

Which is how she reacts to Ross accidentally throwing a plastic baby from a womb diagram. Over act much?

• I can see why Rachel was more attracted to a gravy boat than to Barry.
  
• 

He does look just like Mr. Potato Head! I wonder if the actor comes with detachable features and expressions?

Oh. My. God

"Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." -Chandler.

"I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with..."
"Dinah?" -Rachel and Chandler, looking for the lost engagement ring.

"Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?" -Chandler, after they l earn that Carol is pregnant.

"Well, at lest she had a chance to leave a man at the altar..." -Mrs. Geller, criticizing Monica.

"Still, you--you say Minnie, you hear Mouse." -Ross, discussing baby names with Susan and Carol.

"Helen Geller?" -Ross, still discussing baby names.

"It's my baby too."
"Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm."
"Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is." -Susan and Ross.

"I dunno, but...I think it's about to attack the Enterprise." -Chandler, watching the sonogram video.

"I just hope they have his old hair line and your old nose!" -Rachel, talking to Mindy about the hypothetical kids she and Barry may some day have.

TOW: Monica Gets a New Roommate

We open to Monica (Courtney Cox), Chandler (Matthew Perry), Joey (Matt LeBlanc), and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) gathered at Central Perk for the ubiquitous 'let us introduce you to our characters' set-up. Mostly it's just Chandler telling us of his naked, phone-as-penis, dream. The episode proceeds thus:

Ross(David Schwimmer): Enters Central Perk with the friggin' best.salutation.evarrr. The insanely Eeyore-esque "Hiii." I can't really fault him for being such a downer; his wife did just leave him for another woman. It's an unfortunate fact that I enter rooms this way, sad or otherwise. The majority of the Pilot episode is Ross moping. Scratch that, it's kind of the majority of the series. Chandler and Joey help him put together furniture and he whimpers over losing Carol. Really, lots of whine. But at the end we learn that he had a crush on Rachel when they were in high school. Can we get a big round of "awww"?

Rachel(Jennifer Aniston): This episode is pretty Rachel heavy. Well, obviously, she does leave her fiance at the altar. I will forever love her running into Central Perk, soaking wet and in her wedding dress.

Love.

Here we get to see Rachel grow and mature by saying she doesn't need her parents help! Cutting up her credit cards! Looking for a job! Becoming a waitress! She also says yes to Ross asking if he can, at some point in the future, ask her out.

Monica: Goes on a date with Paul the Wine Guy. Paul tells Monica he's been impotent since his wife left him. She has sex with him thinking she's 'cured' him. That is until she learns Paul used the same line on another Chef at the restaurant where Monica works.

Joey: Uhh, he just hangs around. And likes women. And ice cream. And wears horrible vests.

Chandler: He makes pithy, sarcastic comments...in a wonderful way. Chandler is my absolute favorite for ever and ever. I will name a pet Chandler Bing (and/or Chanandler Bong). Seriously.

So here are some things:

What the eff is with Joey's appearance? I mean, really, people! Let's start with the hair, oh my God, the hair. Why, producers? Why did you do this to him? Is this supposed to be the typical New York Italian stereotype circa 1994? Because I think maybe Matt LeBlanc and the producers got 'Italian' confused with 'Beatle.'

Another thing, what's with the vest?

Every once in awhile, the light will hit it just right and give it the shiny, thicker texture of leather (!) Which is pretty awful, and also alarmingly close to S n' M wear. Not that I know what that looks like...But on further study, this particular vest appears to be an Oxford shirt that someone cut the sleeves off of (and hemmed very nicely). Typing that sentence made my brain ache, especially the hemming part. Seriously, why? Can you imagine what happened when I first saw this? My brain just died right there in a big ball of gooey greyness. Vests were big in the nineties, true, but this one pushes it (and me) right over the edge of sanity.

When Rachel runs into Central Perk in her sodden wedding gown, no one pays her any attention except for our lead cast. Let me say again: wet woman in a big, white dress that not one single person pays even a tad bit of attention to. You'd think this is something that'd catch your eye, but maybe soggy brides are common in Manhattan.

One question, do all single twenty-somethings in NYC spend their days watching telenovelas?

There's this whole, Paul-broke-his-ex-wife's-watch thing that irritates me. Monica's stuff wraps up with her finding Paul's watch on the floor and stomping it. This was incredibly superfluous to me. By the time it happened, I'd already moved on. Paul was an ass, whatever, the end. I realize it's supposed to be a nice bookend to the story, but I really didn't care.

I may be a hopeless romantic, but I think the Ross and Rachel stuff was fairly well done. They introduce the elements of Ross crushing on Rachel all through high school and her not giving him the time of day. There's also a cute last Oreo moment. I don't think a t.v. show can go wrong with awkward-sexual-tension Oreo gags. Did I mention I kinda love the whole Ross/Rachel dynamic? Cause, really, I do.

I know I'm kinda picking on Joey here, but geez, what's with the character in this episode? He doesn't get a lot of screen time and doesn't really have his own storyline, but neither does Chandler and Matthew Perry is still able to set the character up well for later episodes. Joey is just...he's just not...right. There's no hint of the loveable doofus he'll become in a few episodes. Instead, Joey just seems like a douche bag. He's presented as a shallow womanizer with very few memorable aspects. Except the vest. That's not to say that there aren't hints of the genius to come. His 'grab the spoon' speech to Ross (you know the one; there are a lot of varieties of ice cream, just like there are lots of kinds of women) is amazing; it's exactly something that the Joey we know and love would say. Although, as a kid I had no idea what 'jimmies' were as I'd never heard of sprinkles referred to that way. All I could think was, "Why is he putting boys named Jimmy on his ice cream?" I may still be recovering from the emotional scarring that caused.

Rachel goes out to find a job and comes back with designer boots. Awesome.

This episode also contains one of the most awesome 'Friends' moments ever during a discussion of Joey's appearance in a production of "Pinocchio."

The awesomeness begins around the one minute mark.

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE

Oh. My. God

So does he have a hump, a hump and a hair piece?" -Chandler, wondering about the man Monica's going on a date with.

"And I just won a million dollars!" -Chandler, responding to Ross saying he wants to be married again as Rachel walks in wearing her wedding dress

"If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off." -Phoebe, interpreting the telenovela.

"C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's, like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!' And today I just stopped and said, 'What if I don't wan to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a-a purse, y'know? Or a-or a hat. No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha-It's a metaphor, Daddy!"- Rachel, explaining why she left Barry at the altar.

"Okay, ummm-ummm, I'll just--I'll just be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah"
"A wandering?" -Monica and Ross

"Aruba, this time of year...talk about your big LIZARDS!" Ross, bactracking from gushing about the place where Rachel was supposed to spend her honeymoon.

"Now I don't know whether to be hungry or horny."
"Stay out of my freezer." -Ross and Chandler after Joey's 'grab a spoon' speech

"I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'?" -Ross, explaining Paul's behavior to Monica.

"They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots."

The One Where...

I think the internet is calling out for, nay, aching for a 'Friends' blog. So, as a public service, I intend to spend a considerable amount of time providing such a luxury for lovers of nineties t.v. And, this being my blog, I plan on writing about pretty much whatever I feel like along with my, what are sure to be amazing, reviews of all ten seasons.

Let the joy commence!